Intimacy: Today, I faked back pain to get out of sex with my wife. FML - FML

By hjkashld - 24/04/2012 01:48 - United States

Spicy

Today, I faked back pain to get out of sex with my wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 534

You deserved it 36 499

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Same thing different taste

Actor's Studio

By biggieT - 14/06/2012 02:21 - Sri Lanka - Colombo

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my wife, when she fell asleep. She then woke up and started moaning, clearly faking an orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 095

You deserved it 7 596

I suck

By Anonymous - 18/02/2023 12:00

Today, I sucked so bad that I faked an injury during a football game to get out of playing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 298

You deserved it 635

By virgo - 30/01/2010 06:50 - France

Spicy

Today, I had to lie to my therapist about my sex life to make myself feel better. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 243

You deserved it 6 556

By hnickell93 - 10/12/2012 18:37 - United States - Visalia

Spicy

Today, I realized that sex with my husband has gotten so boring that I'd rather fake an orgasm than let him continue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 865

You deserved it 12 852

By blarghhhh - 28/02/2016 14:58 - United States - Owosso

Today, I woke up with the flu. My wife thinks I'm faking it so we don't have to go on date night, even though I've been on the toilet all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 063

You deserved it 1 383

Pull yourself together

By k8thagr8 - 01/03/2015 02:47 - United States - Virginia Beach

Spicy

Today, I slipped on some ice and wrecked my back. When my husband and I went to go to bed, he begged me to take one of the pain pills left over from his recent surgery. Not so I could feel better and get some rest, but so he could have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 274

You deserved it 3 976

By shouldabeenapornstar - 17/03/2010 15:46 - United States

Spicy

Today, I decided to fake it when my husband and I were making love. Afterwards, he told me that he could tell my head was "really in the game" and felt a stronger connection with me now and was glad I opened up and "let go" with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 237

You deserved it 40 437

By Anonymous - 18/01/2014 22:55 - United States - Somerset

Spicy

Today, while I was fooling around with my girlfriend, she hurt her hand. It obviously wasn't very serious, so I told her to stop faking it. She responded, "Wanna know what I actually fake? My orgasms." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 660

You deserved it 64 584

Ouchie

By Anonymous - 17/12/2014 20:09 - United States

Spicy

Today, I felt a horrible pain while having sex with my wife, and I had to stop. I thought it was a hernia or something, but she called me a liar and accused me of everything from not finding her attractive, to me cheating on her. It turned out I had appendicitis. She still won't apologize. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 492

You deserved it 3 049

Deception

By Anonymous - 08/03/2021 01:59

Today, I found out my husband was faking his leg injury. I caught him out and about walking just fine, hand in hand with another woman. I’ve been caring for him, holding down the bills, and taking him to an "at home" chiropractor for the past 7 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 606

You deserved it 95

Next

Top comments

kzxvazure 0

Tuesday 24 April 2012 7:27

just say no....

HSOMGF 5

Tuesday 24 April 2012 7:33

That back pain is probably related to your lack of spine. And really, **** HER life. She deserves better.

Comments

spacetravel 1

Tuesday 24 April 2012 18:31

Am I the only one who thought he is keeping his erectile dysfunction as a secret out of embarrassment? if that's why this is an fml, then op, stop lying to your wife. She should know before your ass gets cheated on.

Tempest559 12

Tuesday 24 April 2012 18:48

Time for that divorce. Being single after being married is much appreciated.

gom_fml 2

Tuesday 24 April 2012 19:24

Doesn't matter, almost had sex.

rubyliu8420 7

Tuesday 24 April 2012 19:40

You are pathetic!

Mayshod 3

Tuesday 24 April 2012 20:14

Be a man. You want a great sex life? **** her like someone was standing next to the bed ready to put a bullet in your face once you are done. Take her like this time will be the last time you ever get to bang her and do it that way every time, because one day it will be the last time. Quit being such a limp dick and share your love with your wife.

luckoirish14 6

Tuesday 24 April 2012 20:23

Do you not like woman? Or sex that bad?

GUNN1313 3

Tuesday 24 April 2012 21:51

No you fake back pain to get a BJ any thing less and your man card needs to be evaluated

mickerdiddly 0

Tuesday 24 April 2012 23:36

OP never said he got/wanted a bj...

vvo19 0

Tuesday 24 April 2012 22:10

A new a time low!

mickerdiddly 0

Tuesday 24 April 2012 23:10

Don't lie, just be honest with her. Communicate about it and see if the reason why you're avoiding it can be fixed. If not, then it's time to get up out of there!

lovepandorasaver 11

Wednesday 25 April 2012 0:23

This is one I really wish the OP commented on.

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You deserved it 3 532

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I agree, your life sucks 32 385

You deserved it 2 519

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I agree, your life sucks 26 365

You deserved it 3 849

Today, in my school's rugby grand final, I had to take a penalty kick to win the game. Possibly the easiest kick I've taken all year. I stuff it up, and it completely missed. A crowd of 2000 people laughed, and later booed me off the field. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 574

You deserved it 364

Today, I had a date with a girl. Wanting to make a good impression, I spend a lot of time getting ready and by the time I get to the place we were supposed to meet she isn't there anymore. I call her to see where she is. She's in bed with another guy and says "I was REALLY waiting for you". FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 790

You deserved it 9 749