Intimacy: Today, I faked back pain to get out of sex with my wife. FML - FML

By hjkashld - 24/04/2012 01:48 - United States

Spicy

Today, I faked back pain to get out of sex with my wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 534

You deserved it 36 499

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Same thing different taste

Actor's Studio

By biggieT - 14/06/2012 02:21 - Sri Lanka - Colombo

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my wife, when she fell asleep. She then woke up and started moaning, clearly faking an orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 095

You deserved it 7 596

I suck

By Anonymous - 18/02/2023 12:00

Today, I sucked so bad that I faked an injury during a football game to get out of playing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 298

You deserved it 635

By virgo - 30/01/2010 06:50 - France

Spicy

Today, I had to lie to my therapist about my sex life to make myself feel better. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 243

You deserved it 6 556

By hnickell93 - 10/12/2012 18:37 - United States - Visalia

Spicy

Today, I realized that sex with my husband has gotten so boring that I'd rather fake an orgasm than let him continue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 865

You deserved it 12 852

By blarghhhh - 28/02/2016 14:58 - United States - Owosso

Today, I woke up with the flu. My wife thinks I'm faking it so we don't have to go on date night, even though I've been on the toilet all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 063

You deserved it 1 383

Pull yourself together

By k8thagr8 - 01/03/2015 02:47 - United States - Virginia Beach

Spicy

Today, I slipped on some ice and wrecked my back. When my husband and I went to go to bed, he begged me to take one of the pain pills left over from his recent surgery. Not so I could feel better and get some rest, but so he could have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 274

You deserved it 3 976

By shouldabeenapornstar - 17/03/2010 15:46 - United States

Spicy

Today, I decided to fake it when my husband and I were making love. Afterwards, he told me that he could tell my head was "really in the game" and felt a stronger connection with me now and was glad I opened up and "let go" with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 237

You deserved it 40 437

By Anonymous - 18/01/2014 22:55 - United States - Somerset

Spicy

Today, while I was fooling around with my girlfriend, she hurt her hand. It obviously wasn't very serious, so I told her to stop faking it. She responded, "Wanna know what I actually fake? My orgasms." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 660

You deserved it 64 584

Ouchie

By Anonymous - 17/12/2014 20:09 - United States

Spicy

Today, I felt a horrible pain while having sex with my wife, and I had to stop. I thought it was a hernia or something, but she called me a liar and accused me of everything from not finding her attractive, to me cheating on her. It turned out I had appendicitis. She still won't apologize. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 492

You deserved it 3 049

Deception

By Anonymous - 08/03/2021 01:59

Today, I found out my husband was faking his leg injury. I caught him out and about walking just fine, hand in hand with another woman. I’ve been caring for him, holding down the bills, and taking him to an "at home" chiropractor for the past 7 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 606

You deserved it 95

Next

Top comments

kzxvazure 0

Tuesday 24 April 2012 7:27

just say no....

HSOMGF 5

Tuesday 24 April 2012 7:33

That back pain is probably related to your lack of spine. And really, **** HER life. She deserves better.

Comments

virginiatech2 6

Wednesday 25 April 2012 1:01

What is wrong with you???

mop909head 1

Wednesday 25 April 2012 2:35

Wow man, spice things up cause she is gonna find it somewhere else, and woman if u agree dont think that guys wont find it somewhere else if u are holding out either.

ogle5431 1

Wednesday 25 April 2012 3:36

I've turned down sex with my wife before. I love her and find her so sexy but honestly sometimes I'm just too damned tired. She's done the same. I don't see the big deal unless you're doing that very often.

twiins_fml 5

Wednesday 25 April 2012 3:48

Sex must suck..

TULEINYANA 3

Wednesday 25 April 2012 4:03

Pussy

trollmania 1

Wednesday 25 April 2012 4:56

Fake and gay.. Or just gay.

kaila332 0

Wednesday 25 April 2012 4:57

U know she could have an FML profile. She could have saw this story In the other hand You broke ur wife's heart by lying Even without her knowing

daltonehret91 0

Wednesday 25 April 2012 5:58

Well… actually sex is one of the best pain relievers

tyler004 0

Wednesday 25 April 2012 9:22

yeahh cause women are just soo understanding of the truth:P

kalbrek009 20

Wednesday 25 April 2012 9:47

Holy hell in a hand basket! I've never heard of a guy finding an excuse to NOT have sex before! Obviously something is wrong with one or both of you! YDI!

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The Top

Today, my daughter is such a greedy idiot. Her ex was voluntarily giving her over £1000 for the kid but she decided she wanted more, and dragged him to child support court. She’s now only getting about £500 and her ex, who formerly had a great relationship with her, now hates her guts. Idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 628

You deserved it 172

Today, I was pulled over for speeding. I speak 4 languages and thought if I spoke French, the Officer would let me off with a warning thinking I was a tourist. Afterwards I turned to my wife and said, "I can't believe that worked." He was a few feet away and heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 485

You deserved it 104 711

The Top

Today, my 8-year-old daughter came home from school, saying she had gotten engaged and was wearing a ring. It looked real. Later that night, I got a call saying that their son had given my daughter his grandma's engagement ring. My daughter actually said no to the engagement, but still took the ring, FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 576

You deserved it 183

Today, my grandmother bought a Shakeweight, an exercise tool which, basically, simulates a hand-job to tone arm fat. I get to watch my Grandmother do this motion for 6 minutes every day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 615

You deserved it 5 196

Today, after my wife gave birth to another of our daughters, she announced that this was the last one. When I reminded her I still needed a son to carry on my name, she replied, "Well, you've got four girls. You want a boy? Birth him yourself!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 95

You deserved it 1 757

Today, while riding my bike in the rain to a counselling appointment about my depression, my shoelace came untied and got caught around my pedal, causing me to go flying off my bike directly in a huge muddy puddle right in front of a busy street of people. No one offered to help me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 141

You deserved it 1 717

Today, I told my parents that I wanted a little brother. My dad apparently thought it would be funny to tell me that my mom just swallowed my little brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 531

You deserved it 77

Today, I've been feeling like my efforts are never enough. I had 4 exams in one goddamn week, didn't sleep at all for 3 days studying, only to get completely demolished. The teachers put the most complicated problems as if they WANT us to fail. If I fail one class, I'm getting kicked out of my program. FML

I agree, your life sucks 683

You deserved it 311