Health: Today, I farted in front of my husband for the first time in...

By lol - 05/12/2011 06:13 - United States

Today, I farted in front of my husband for the first time in 26 years. He told our kids over email, and now they won't shut up about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 523

You deserved it 9 263

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Same thing different taste

By Susan - 28/02/2012 11:55 - Canada

Today, I farted in front of my husband. It somehow turned into a farting war. Then I realized this is the closest we've come to intimacy in a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 958

You deserved it 6 840

By deerling - 18/03/2019 06:00 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I accidentally farted really loud. My 4 year-old brother heard me and started crying and stopped talking to me for a whole hour. Now he tells everyone about "that time his sister farted." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 938

You deserved it 342

By Ted - 06/06/2019 18:00

Today, I finally felt comfortable enough to fart in front of my boyfriend for the first time. He went quiet, got up and left in his car. I haven't heard from him in 4 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 187

You deserved it 485

By flipflop - 07/06/2010 07:03 - United States

Today, I got married. I was so nervous right before I said my vows that, in the dead silence, I farted. Loud. My brother showed me afterwards, on tape, over and over and over again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 316

You deserved it 7 438

By Anonymous - 27/09/2015 07:10 - United States - Queens Village

Today, while singing Happy Birthday to my husband, I desperately needed to fart. I couldn't leave the room, so I let it out real slow. There were over 20 of us there, yet somehow my mother-in-law knew it was me. She went over to the window and opened it wide, all while glaring at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 140

You deserved it 4 062

By Madi - 30/11/2011 17:55 - United States

Today, my boyfriend discovered that I fart when I'm tickled enough. The best part was when he decided to show his family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 743

You deserved it 3 625

Skidmarks

By smelly asses - 17/09/2020 07:50

Today, my husband and my daughter engaged in a fart war. Guess who go to do a pile of shitty laundry, while the other texted his friends about the “hilarious” incident? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 165

You deserved it 216

Chemical warfare

By Anonymous - 12/07/2024 21:00 - Canada - Terrace

Today, while sitting on the couch with my husband, I farted quietly. Not a big deal, except it's hot out and our fan was blowing in his face, and it stunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 151

You deserved it 428

By Mj - 20/07/2016 00:28 - Canada - Windsor

Today, I farted in a public pool and watched in horror as bubbles of death gas floated up beside my son who started calling me the fart monster in front of everyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 769

You deserved it 4 275

By Anonymous - 18/01/2011 08:28 - United States

Today, I was at the grocery store with my dad. He let out a very silent but foul abomination of a fart. The people behind us started gagging, so he turned, pointed at me and said, "That was my daughter." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 167

You deserved it 3 833

AsianCookie247 14

Monday 5 December 2011 11:37

You Are just now farting in front of him? ...

sariannacanna 6

Monday 5 December 2011 11:42

How did you survive for 26 years and never farting in front of him?!? Thats some extreme control *claps and nods* lol

Comments

RedPillSucks 31

Monday 5 December 2011 18:20

Next time, fart while sitting in his lap, so he can feel the warm after-glow.

KiddNYC1O 20

Monday 5 December 2011 18:23

Now you'll have an array of atomic farts.

carleilam 3

Monday 5 December 2011 19:09

Holy Bat Farts! After 26 years I hope it was at least a good one! Why have you waiting this long!! You must have had some really uncomfortable times in the past holding that all in! Now you need to fart in bed and pull the covers over his head!

Calyx_fml 21

Monday 5 December 2011 19:25

YDI for being so modest.

hoonyer 17

Monday 5 December 2011 20:15

Dutch oven time? I think yes ;)

j_cat187 19

Monday 5 December 2011 21:00

It's a big deal because you are so embarrassed about it.

mrssuarez2011 12

Monday 5 December 2011 21:02

Aww I'm sorry OP that is embarrassing.

mycatsaysmeow 7

Monday 5 December 2011 21:24

lol, that's why I make it a point to fart in front of of my SO early in the relationship. that way he gets desensitized and I don't have to pretend to be something I'm not!