Health: Today, I figured out how my birth control works. If you're on... - FML

By irwingiggles - 08/02/2015 10:26 - Netherlands

Today, I figured out how my birth control works. If you're on your period for four months straight you can't have sex, so you won't be pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 821

You deserved it 4 076

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Same thing different taste

By theflow - 15/08/2012 17:08 - Australia - Perth

Today, thanks to a new form of birth control, I've now been having my period non-stop for six weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 239

You deserved it 4 550

By samantha - 17/08/2019 06:02 - United States

Today, I found out that after using several types of birth control, and being paranoid about pregnancy, I've been infertile for years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 044

You deserved it 197

Oops

By maybe time to adopt - 04/03/2018 15:00

Today, after my wife and I have been trying for a baby for 2 years, I found out she's still on the pill. Apparently when she was a teen she had bad period cramps, so her doctor gave her the pill for the pain. She never realized it stops pregnancy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 528

You deserved it 1 165

By PurpleSloth - 15/02/2013 13:57 - United States - Tracy

Today, I realized that without my birth control pills, I would have no idea what day it is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 907

You deserved it 16 082

I'm an empath

By S Edhouse - 13/04/2023 22:00 - New Zealand - Wellington

Today, and ever since my wife has gone onto birth control pills for her endometriosis, her time of the month now lasts for three weeks each month out of the four, and on the fourth week she gets pains and doesn't feel like sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 806

You deserved it 224

Safety first

By Anonymous - 28/04/2024 03:30 - India

Today, I found out that morning after pills don't work if you're already ovulating. I also found out that I might become a father wayyyy sooner than expected. FML

I agree, your life sucks 140

You deserved it 618

By Anonymous - 16/11/2009 00:52 - Canada

Today, I found out that I'm going to be a mother. This was a mystery, since I take birth control and use condoms all the time. Or, at least, it was, until my mother admitted to swapping my pills and poking holes in my condoms so she could have a grandchild before she died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 132

You deserved it 4 188

Too little, too late

By Anonymous - 20/01/2014 20:23 - United States - Manhattan

Today, I went to the health department to get on some birth control. I left the health department without birth control, and with the news that I'm pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 407

You deserved it 33 876

By SaucierGirl - 12/08/2018 03:30

Today, I was told that since I've had only three or four periods since 2013, there's 60 periods worth of blood clotted in my uterus. They gave me medicine to make it all come out in one week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 187

You deserved it 311

By Daddy. - 17/02/2010 08:15 - Australia

Today, I found out the hard way that my girlfriend lied about being on the pill four months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 022

You deserved it 8 344

Next

Top comments

_whyme_o 12

Sunday 8 February 2015 19:03

I think you should see your doctor, because that's not normal :o

Wizardo 33

Sunday 8 February 2015 19:03

You should really go to a specialist for this, it could be a serious problem down the line.

Comments

thealaskanyoung 14

Sunday 8 February 2015 22:48

That's brutal.

WhatHappenedToIt 22

Sunday 8 February 2015 23:04

I take it you started depo. That really sucks. Only way for it to stop is to stop the shots and go on IUD or the pill or patch. Depo is horrible. Esp if you TTC later down the line.

mrscoffee19 4

Sunday 8 February 2015 23:09

Definitely the Depo shot. I had my period for two months straight, then it stopped for a few months, then I started to spot off and on for a little bit, but after a year of it I stopped completely. Maybe that'll happen with you, but I would advise to see a physician for it. Oh, and you'll also cramp between periods or not even having your period at all. It really, really sucks but is great birth control.

duhdarling 11

Sunday 8 February 2015 23:34

That's not normal... You should of seen your doctor like 3 months ago..

SweetheartSusie 20

Sunday 8 February 2015 23:34

The OP could be sensitive to hormone based contraceptives, especially if this isn't the first that has sent her period awry. I myself don't deal well with hormone based contraceptives and I tried them all. Pill, injection, implant and all sent me wacky. My advice would be to try something that doesn't rely on artificial oestrogen.

sgtc691 5

Sunday 8 February 2015 23:48

well depending on the type of birthcontrol thats actually normal

bun_key0_1 20

Sunday 8 February 2015 23:57

You have been on your period for four months? Not normal. You need to go to your doctor ASAP. the maximum a period should last should be 7 days. Hope everything turns out ok for you.

way2bAnAthlete 7

Sunday 8 February 2015 23:59

Dude get that checked out! Like now!

FemskyD 26

Monday 9 February 2015 0:06

Wtf poor you

i_needa_username 17

Monday 9 February 2015 0:28

That could be serious!!!! See a doctor; asap

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The Top

Today, I was in an elevator with my girlfriend when it suddenly stopped. Thinking of being spontaneous like in all the movies, I propped her up on the railings and started getting passionate. That's when the emergency phone rang. And I discovered there was a security camera. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 331

You deserved it 41 023

Today, I was jogging in the neighborhood. My new neighbor who lives three houses down clotheslines me and shouts, "You're the reason my wife won't have sex with me!" He then kicked me in the stomach and walked inside. Now I'm scared to leave my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 664

You deserved it 3 777

The Top

Today, I've been loyal to my wife for almost 25 years then I randomly bumped into my high school sweetheart, sparks flew like when we were teenagers, and less than an hour later we were having sex in her car. I feel like such scum. What the hell is wrong with me? FML

I agree, your life sucks 532

You deserved it 8 383

Today, I found out that the landscaping job I started three weeks ago is actually for an illicit business run by a hippie who pissed away the entire payroll to fund his drug habit. He has no way of coughing up the $900 he owes me. I'm broke as hell, and my electricity is now going to get cut off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 081

You deserved it 4 594

Today, after leaving my abusive partner, I checked into a hotel through a crisis service. Since then, I've been asked to have sex for $20, and also yelled at for not driving a woman to a shopping centre, which is a 5-minute walk away. I don't drive and have been here for an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 615

You deserved it 94

Today, I was playing basketball, and while trying to jump and shoot, I farted on the face of the person behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 657

You deserved it 644

Today, I locked my keys in my car. I had a spare key in my wallet, that I also left in the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 111

You deserved it 3 178

Today, my ex told me she still misses having sex with me. Her next text was "but it's still over." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 906

You deserved it 3 370