Miscellaneous: Today, I finally achieved the perfect hourglass figure. Too bad...

By Wwiimaniac - 25/06/2012 14:05 - United States - Dallas

Today, I finally achieved the perfect hourglass figure. Too bad I'm a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 251

You deserved it 5 513

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Same thing different taste

In the eye of the beholder

By Anonymous - 28/07/2022 19:00 - Israel - Jerusalem

Today, I'm in the best shape of my life after losing 2.5 stone over 2 years. I never got any female attention when I was overweight, so I was quite surprised when at the gym an attractive woman came over and started flirting with me. It was going great, until she said, "You'd be perfect if you had a dad bod". FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 125

You deserved it 123

By box butt - 07/03/2017 00:00

Today, after much dieting and exercise, I can proudly say that my love handles are now bigger than my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 398

You deserved it 632

By random - 08/06/2013 04:42 - United States - El Paso

Today, at the gym, my boobs were jiggling more than the girl next to me. This would be a good thing, if I wasn't a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 830

You deserved it 16 832

By Anonymous - 12/12/2010 20:32 - United Kingdom

Today, after months of dieting, I finally reached my goal weight. Excitedly I told my boyfriend, who gave me a beautiful dress as an early Christmas present. It was a size too small. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 714

You deserved it 5 205

By Anonymous - 10/02/2012 16:12 - United States

Today, I noticed that I have gained enough weight to give me back boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 814

You deserved it 34 696

By bride - 14/02/2011 06:24 - United States

Today, I dreamed I was getting married. I was wearing a white dress, had incredible cleavage and perfectly done makeup. Just one problem. I'm a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 032

You deserved it 10 079

By notfatanymore - 13/11/2011 20:50 - Germany

Today, the guy I've recently started seeing confided that he's relieved I'm on the heavier side, and that he has a thing for watching chubby women eat. I just reached my ideal weight after losing 40 pounds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 369

You deserved it 4 106

Autobodyshaming

By Anonymous - 06/05/2021 16:59

Today, I'm officially fat enough I have to lift my belly out of the way to get to my zipper when I need to pee in public toilets. I hate myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 765

You deserved it 549

By BrefODM - 13/06/2014 03:15 - United Kingdom

Today, thanks to an efficient diet, I reached my target weight. Unfortunately, my chest has disappeared. My boyfriend suggested we have a funeral for my bras. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 950

You deserved it 7 529

Overthinking it

By omgreally91 - 12/10/2011 23:39 - United States

Today, I spent an hour photoshopping my face onto super skinny models as inspiration for a diet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 576

You deserved it 30 369

dankpotatoes 2

Monday 25 June 2012 18:51

Don't complain. Most girls would kill to be your size!

redreynard 14

Monday 25 June 2012 18:57

I just like hourglasses.

Comments

Octain 13

Tuesday 26 June 2012 23:22

Just today?

NoahEibon 11

Wednesday 27 June 2012 0:46

What the Hell? How does that happen?

luna2495 0

Wednesday 27 June 2012 3:49

Aww poor guy!!!!!!!!!!

woahthatspink 0

Wednesday 27 June 2012 8:38

You must have great thighs:)

puppykin985 1

Thursday 28 June 2012 8:48

"finally"?

Guachu95 5

Friday 29 June 2012 6:17

Well, are you gay? You could be one good trasvestite with that figure.

kyrisonfusion 22

Saturday 30 June 2012 14:04

Just get a sex change then you'll be a total babe

Aliiisthoughts 0

Saturday 30 June 2012 19:02

You must share your secret ;)

GeeUnit 8

Sunday 1 July 2012 6:01

You know, we could just switch bodies... I'll just take my butt & my boobs.

rkcraig53 0

Tuesday 3 July 2012 6:05

If you didn't walk right up during the movie and bitch slap him, you're a faggy sissy chick....

Keywords

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The Top

Today, one of my debate opponents used the "Bill O'Reilly defense" against my arguments. This involved saying "You can't explain that" about easily explainable stuff, and speaking louder and louder to drown out my voice. He ended up getting a better grade than mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 163

You deserved it 3 436

Today, a field engineer decided to rework everyone's schedule, just because he couldn't be bothered to do a full day's work. Now two of us who would've been busy all day are sat on our phones, and he's off out on "errands". How a day goes depends on how bothered he can be. FML

I agree, your life sucks 707

You deserved it 81

The Top

Today, it's my birthday. After a day out partying, I came home to find all my stuff smashed in the yard, even my 42" plasma TV. After asking my girlfriend what her problem was, she said a "slut" left a message on the machine stating how fun last night was. It turned out to be my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 91 282

You deserved it 5 121

Today, I returned home from my honeymoon and met my dad for coffee. He told me he's been seeing someone and he's so happy. It's my new mother-in-law. They moved in together during my wedding weekend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 654

You deserved it 357

Today, I tried to dye my hair blonde using a DIY kit I found online. As I was washing out the dye, I realized my hair had turned bright orange. I had to wear a hat all day to avoid being seen in public with a Johnny Rotten fright-wig. FML

I agree, your life sucks 264

You deserved it 762

Today, like every other day for the past two weeks, my husband was not in the mood for sex. He told me this while masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 289

You deserved it 178

Today, my dad's last words before he fell into a coma, and later died, were about how he wanted to stick his face in the ass of his 20-something nurse and motorboat her cheeks. I had to lie to my mother and say that his last words were that he wanted to see her again before the end. Thanks dad, NOT. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 942

You deserved it 194

Today, my family asked where I wanted to go for my birthday dinner. They shot down my every suggestion and decided on sushi. I'm allergic, so the only thing I could eat was a veggie appetizer. Dad said I need to "expand my palate." FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 163

You deserved it 348

Same thing different taste

In the eye of the beholder

Autobodyshaming

Overthinking it

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