Intimacy: Today, I finally got a chance to try out my vibrator. I've never...

By Anonymous - 15/06/2009 11:23 - United States

Today, I finally got a chance to try out my vibrator. I've never orgasmed before with a guy, so I thought there was no hope until my friend gave me the vibrator for my birthday. It was going amazing, better than sex. I was literally 2 seconds away from climaxing when the battery suddenly died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 216

You deserved it 14 992

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Like a virgin

By Anonymous - 07/08/2020 17:01

Today, at 26, I bought my first vibrator. I've never really masturbated before, because I've always been with a guy. I used it for the first time, and orgasmed in under 3 minutes. I guess this whole time the guys I've been with hadn’t in fact made me cum as much as I thought. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 768

You deserved it 498

Mortified

By Anonymous - 18/11/2020 01:08 - United States - Joplin

Today, I bought my first ever vibrator after months of wanting one. Apparently, I bought a cheap product, because it broke and started going off by itself later. It shook my whole dresser while my best friend and I were in the room. I couldn't get it to shut off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 157

You deserved it 273

By Anonymous - 19/05/2015 14:01 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I bought my first vibrator. I was really excited, until my crippling OCD kicked in, forcing me to turn it on and off seven times in rapid succession, causing it to give off a cracking sound and stop working. Now I'm sad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 236

You deserved it 12 862

Technology hates humans

By Anonymous - 17/01/2021 11:01

Today, I had the house to myself for the morning. I decided to enjoy being alone, so pulled my trusty bullet vibrator from the drawer. I was very much into it, loving the alone time and myself, and was on the edge of climax when my vibrator died. This brought me to tears, because all I wanted to do was be alone and masturbate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 364

You deserved it 293

Dude, were you just in a McDonald's?

By Anonymous - 25/12/2022 15:00

Today, it started off as a good day, until my guy friend called me in the middle of me turning my vibrator on. He was crying so I couldn’t finish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 656

You deserved it 834

Broken vibrator

By Anonymous - 05/12/2019 20:00

Today, I received my package. I ordered a vibrator, I was so excited to use it, but when I was finally ready to use it, I found out that it broke during the delivery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 083

You deserved it 268

Medieval ******

By Brittney - 16/01/2023 00:00

Today, I started an electrical fire trying to charge my vibrators. FML

I agree, your life sucks 959

You deserved it 373

By Confused - 22/08/2012 16:33 - Spain - Madrid

Today, I finally had sex with my boyfriend. I had never gotten so far with a guy, so I was really nervous. He was careful, we tried different positions, "it was fun" and he came. I barely felt anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 772

You deserved it 4 419

By Highnapple - 04/03/2015 07:55 - Canada - Sarnia

Today, my boyfriend was pleasuring me with his hands. After two years of being together, he was finally about to make me orgasm for the first time by himself. Just as I was reaching my peak, he orgasmed at the thought of finishing me off and stopped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 133

You deserved it 4 527

By wet dreams - 12/02/2016 17:46 - United States - Cartersville

Today, I came to the realization that I dream more about my vibrator than I do about my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 987

You deserved it 4 570

FBIWarning 0

Monday 15 June 2009 20:03

jeeze how long were you at it for the battery to die?

Nev09 0

Monday 15 June 2009 20:02

next time: 1) set up webcam 2) post up movie 3) ???? 4) profit!

Comments

kellster 2

Monday 15 June 2009 22:12

Exactly what #60 said!! You want to get LOW-grade batteries for vibrators, not good ones! Good ones will just burn out your new toy quick. Better luck next time! #14: Has it occurred to you that perhaps the same things don't work for everybody? Lots of women can only ****** with toys.

xo_emily_xo 0

Monday 15 June 2009 22:12

Sooo...why don't you just hmmm, i don't know? Maybe CHANGE THE ******* BATTERIES???

ebbasaur 0

Monday 15 June 2009 22:14

This is the weakest FML post ever. You SUCK!

smartornot 0

Monday 15 June 2009 22:15

Somehow I'm guessing this is no different than regular sex for you. And actually it is perfectly normal for a woman to need clitoral stimulation for ******.

gingermonster16 0

Monday 15 June 2009 22:17

#81 hahahahah Highly doubt this happened. Right at the climax your batteries died... hmm. Bull. Like what, were you lending it around first? And guessing that you didn't just throw the TV remote batteries in there...the batteries wouldn't have died for a long time.

ImaBmyLonurTees 0

Monday 15 June 2009 22:20

jesus, it was the first time you used it and you drained the battery? Wow.

colorful_cranes 0

Monday 15 June 2009 22:21

errrgghh >.>;

kirby229 0

Monday 15 June 2009 22:23

Wow, there's a lot of insensitive guys on here. Guys ****** every time they ********** or have sex then act like girls are complaining too much when she's NEVER had an ******. I've never orgasmed either, but I haven't tried a vibrator. #76 you especially. Guys don't have "time to waste" pleasuring their partners yet how would you like it if someone you were sleeping with climaxed before you and told you they didn't want to waste their time waiting for you to finish? You're an asshole. At OP: I feel your pain :( that sucks.

Flace 0

Monday 15 June 2009 22:24

when at first you fail...try the **** again...

UseTheFrags 0

Monday 15 June 2009 22:28

#94, I'm afraid that's not our problem. Nature made it so we have to climax to carry on the human species, you don't, so stop being so selfish, we're saving the human race here. :)