Love: Today, I finally got my first kiss. I was so excited, I pissed...

By PissyPants - 20/06/2010 05:12 - United States

Today, I finally got my first kiss. I was so excited, I pissed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 226

You deserved it 29 356

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By RitaDahhlinnnng - 25/08/2009 23:56 - United States

Today, I had my first real date with my first serious boyfriend. I was nervous because from past experience. I learned my lips were a bit ticklish and I usually giggled a bit during kissing. Well, we started making out and I thought was I doing pretty good hiding my laughs. Until I wet myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 010

You deserved it 10 831

Sprinkler

By shelly - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was locked out of my house and had to pee. I waited an hour for my boyfriend to come home. When I saw him pull into the driveway, I peed myself in excitement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 958

You deserved it 7 573

By hollysofly - 15/01/2011 07:38 - United States

Today, I went on the first date of my life. I also burped during my first kiss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 189

You deserved it 7 961

By Killme - 13/07/2016 02:10

Today, as a birthday present, my friends threw a surprise party for me. I was so surprised, I pissed myself in front of everyone, including my crush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 142

You deserved it 2 122

By Anonymous - 16/06/2009 07:03 - United States

Today, my toddler peed in his potty for the first time. He was so excited to show me that he flung the pot in the air dousing my face with his piss. Then he laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 547

You deserved it 5 212

By shitfaced - 18/09/2015 17:30 - Netherlands - Sassenheim

Today, I kissed my girlfriend for the first time. She recoiled in horror and asked if someone had taken a shit in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 675

You deserved it 9 516

By alf - 27/10/2008 02:34 - France

Today, I kissed the girl I love for the first time. Her reaction? She vomited. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 889

You deserved it 7 259

A real ******

By never again - 30/11/2019 01:00 - United States - Bakersfield

Today, I finally had sex with the guy I like, but I had to pee really bad. It got really wet down there, and he thought I squirted. I peed everywhere. I let him believe he made me squirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 382

You deserved it 757

By ac-hoo - 04/02/2012 14:52 - India

Today, the man of my dreams kissed me. It was everything I had imagined it would be until in the middle of the kiss, he burped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 734

You deserved it 3 847

By Anonymous - 20/11/2010 15:46 - United States

Today, I took my driver's test. I was so nervous that I peed my pants halfway through the exam. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 162

You deserved it 17 258

tencentsakiss 19

Sunday 20 June 2010 12:14

Puppys also piss when excited. Are you sure you aren't really a puppy? Bad dog! Get off the Internet.

superbadd 0

Sunday 20 June 2010 13:06

mah first kiss went a little this *muah* then piss *ssss* *ssss* then piss :D

Comments

livyyyy 0

Friday 22 April 2011 22:32

oh my gosh! that must've been so embarrassing! what did you say?! what did the other person say?!

ThisRandomChild 0

Saturday 4 June 2011 10:03

ROFLMFAO u just made my day, pee-pants >.< XD

danillavanilla 0

Tuesday 28 June 2011 0:23

pathetic much?

yowassup44 0

Tuesday 2 August 2011 21:49

How old r u ?

Chelgleek 7

Saturday 27 August 2011 1:06

Omg, that is soooo embarrassing! I would cry for DAYS! What did he do????

Bluemonster3 26

Thursday 22 September 2011 0:52

Your name suits you

dropkik19 2

Wednesday 28 September 2011 4:11

He might of thought is was a little hot

cantdobetter 2

Monday 17 October 2011 1:43

girls usually cant hold their bladder as well as guys.. soorryy .

RoxxyHustle 7

Thursday 2 February 2012 0:05

upon reading this I LOL'd on a crowded but silent train. Sorry to laugh at your embarrassment but seriously wtf? are you a 4 month old puppy?

Rebel5005 4

Thursday 9 February 2012 6:10

Hahahaha im sorry but that's sad

Keywords

Break-ups Love Christmas Miscellaneous Poopoo peepee Gross Ironic Argument Friends Awkward Cute Haircut Relatable You're fired Work Cars Health Covid Jealousy Cheating Kids Parenting Family DIY Cats Roommate Sex Intimacy Am I overreacting? Management

The Top

Today, I was in an elevator with my girlfriend when it suddenly stopped. Thinking of being spontaneous like in all the movies, I propped her up on the railings and started getting passionate. That's when the emergency phone rang. And I discovered there was a security camera. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 331

You deserved it 41 020

Today, I tried reaching out to a brand on Instagram, telling them I'm a rising influencer and would love a free sample of some of their products to review. They replied back with a laughing emoji and "You have 44 followers. Eat shit." Then they posted it on their story, with my name listed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 99

You deserved it 1 503

The Top

Today, my little brothers wouldn't stop teasing me over the fact that I'm a virgin and they are not. They are 13 and 16, I'm 22. What's worse? My dad quickly joined them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 228

You deserved it 7 558

Today, was my first day at my new job in a shop. 10 minutes after my first customer leaves I realize she managed to steal $200 worth of merchandise while she had me getting stuff for her from the back room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 004

You deserved it 7 828

Today, my friends were all talking about the first time they bought condoms. I can still remember the first time I bought them; in fact they are unopened and expired in my bedside table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 700

You deserved it 6 389

Today, while driving home after the legal curfew, I narrowly avoided a police roadblock and backtracked a mile to drive home another way. I then ran out of gas a mile away from my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 990

You deserved it 30 908

Today, my mom saw a picture of the moon and asked me what "those big spots" were. She actually thought the craters were continents and tried correcting me when I told her what they were. Then I almost got into trouble for being disrespectful. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 752

You deserved it 1 515

Today, I was told by a former coworker that my former boss still talks about me being lazy, ever since the time I refused to do a few things on third shift when there was me and 2 other people working. I haven't worked there in 3 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 403

You deserved it 241

Same thing different taste

Sprinkler

A real ******

Top comments

Comments