Health: Today, I finally went to the bathroom after being constipated...

By Me - 20/06/2011 16:14 - United States

Today, I finally went to the bathroom after being constipated for two days. The good news? I lost two pounds. The bad news? The toilet won't flush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 509

You deserved it 5 625

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 14/05/2012 03:14 - United States

Today, after 4 days of constipation, I finally pooped. Sadly, I was not on the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 789

You deserved it 3 069

By Poopie - 29/01/2011 06:06 - Canada

Today, after suffering from constipation for three days, I finally took a dump. Just as things reached the point of no return, my land line and doorbell all rang. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 223

You deserved it 3 219

You need more fiber

By Anonymous - 30/04/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, I finally got over having constipation for two days straight. It came in the form of a normal-sized, rock-hard turd that made me scream "Ow!" when it came out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 414

You deserved it 110

By constipated - 03/06/2017 02:00

Today, I was fired from my job for being constipated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 340

You deserved it 454

Yoyo

By jetpack girl - 22/02/2023 22:00

Today, after months of grueling hard work, I'd finally gained five pounds. Too bad I lost it all and then some, due to one good stomach flu. FML

I agree, your life sucks 703

You deserved it 103

By missbutthole - 04/06/2011 13:07 - United States

Today, after being chronically constipated for the better part of a week, I finally have the urge to poop. Too bad I'm 30 minutes early to work and locked out of the building. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 707

You deserved it 3 889

Deal breaker

By frankie - 19/01/2009 01:01 - Canada

Today, I had a date with a girl. After movies and dinner, we came back to my place. I had to go to the washroom BADLY. I took a BIG #2 and when I went to flush the toilet to my horror it wouldn't flush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 911

You deserved it 3 547

Slid right out

By Tabby Rosas - 21/02/2021 21:30

Today, after 8 days of being on a medication that makes it hard to go to the bathroom and no luck taking laxatives and drinking coffee and apple juice, I finally got to go. Too bad I was at my desk at work when it happened. I washed out my pants in the bathroom and got to sit in wet pants for 4 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 117

You deserved it 86

By Anonymous - 01/06/2016 11:05 - Canada - Saint-laurent

Today, I've been chronically constipated so long that I was actually grateful for the sudden blast of diarrhea that ruined my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 516

You deserved it 869

The Gush

By Anonymous - 10/10/2019 22:01

Today, I had planned to do a twenty-minute colon cleanse enema for weight loss. Instead, I woke up in the middle of the night with uncontrollable diarrhea that’s still going strong. Eight hours and counting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 758

You deserved it 2 055

HippoCampus 7

Monday 20 June 2011 23:08

Tell your toilet to quit being so full of shit!

miserypoison 13

Monday 20 June 2011 23:07

0-1 Toilet wins.

Comments

flockz 19

Monday 20 June 2011 23:30

ya but toilets can call in sick to work whenever they want because they always feel a little flushed.

kike66 0

Monday 20 June 2011 23:31

oh my god rhats like two pounds of shit in the toilet... what did u expext

Captain_Obvious2_fml 6

Monday 20 June 2011 23:39

i expected you to spell expect right... expectantly

ThorneCrossed 9

Monday 20 June 2011 23:36

call a plumber, but don't tell him what's in the toliet

ImMeDealWithIt 3

Monday 4 July 2011 7:24

hahaha LMAO!

BrittanyPernell6 0

Monday 20 June 2011 23:37

wow, can we say cook it on the arse pumping?

meagaplexxx 0

Monday 20 June 2011 23:39

FYL BRO!

InsertGirder 6

Monday 20 June 2011 23:40

How many couric was it?

TheSkookum 3

Tuesday 21 June 2011 3:57

Or perhaps, how many Bono's?

abbi96x 0

Monday 20 June 2011 23:51

2 lbs worth of shit?! Woaaah!

ZAE06 0

Monday 20 June 2011 23:53

man I hope u guys fight because I really haven't seen a hood fight in FML in a while

chalmers86 0

Monday 20 June 2011 23:54

In the woods!

AbuelaGrande 0

Monday 20 June 2011 23:56

Oh being constipated is the wrost. Once I was constipated for four days but I broke breeza or wind as you say it on the fifth day. the feeling was so over whelming and it feels so good. You has a weight lifted off of you shoulder.