Miscellaneous: Today, I found out if I refuse my boyfriend anything in public,...

By anon. - 17/01/2012 23:41 - United States

Today, I found out if I refuse my boyfriend anything in public, he will continually yell out, "Penis!" until he gets his way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 156

You deserved it 8 786

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Same thing different taste

Comedian

By WoofWoof - 27/09/2020 14:01 - Pakistan - Islamabad

Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend that getting on all fours and barking at my penis for fun in the center of a mall is extremely inappropriate. She thinks otherwise, and promises to do it again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 410

You deserved it 418

It's a witch!

By umm... - 30/03/2020 23:00 - Australia - Canberra

Today, I caught my boyfriend in the bathtub interrogating his penis and "drowning" it when it wouldn't answer him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 822

You deserved it 348

By Anonymous - 30/10/2011 08:38 - United States

Today, while in the grocery store my boyfriend said very loudly "Don't make me hit you in public again!" He says things like this every time we are in the grocery store line. The sad part is that it's better than when he says "Are you gonna pay for the stuff you put in your purse?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 805

You deserved it 9 696

By Anonymous - 15/05/2013 06:43 - United States

Today, my boyfriend yelled at me. Apparently I'm not the "classy girl" he thought I was, and he's not comfortable "doing such vile things in public." I had tried to hold his hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 894

You deserved it 4 394

By cockalicious - 01/03/2011 05:29

Today, my boyfriend let me know he wanted me to leave by repeatedly jabbing me with my car keys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 713

You deserved it 5 022

By kj1 - 17/02/2014 18:28 - United States - Draper

Today, my boyfriend yelled at me from the other room for washing the dishes "too loudly". FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 280

You deserved it 6 714

By HK - 16/05/2012 22:38 - United Kingdom - Haywards Heath

Today, my boyfriend got mad at me because I refused to keep him company while he took a shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 014

You deserved it 3 824

By Miramichi - 30/05/2011 12:18 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend admitted that he pees on the toilet seat just to piss me off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 610

You deserved it 8 951

Noise annoys

By Anonymous - 07/12/2009 05:31 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend he is good at singing. Now he won't stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 046

You deserved it 42 027

Funky

By Cleanfreak? - 25/06/2017 00:00 - Denmark - ?lborg

Today, I got into an argument, followed by the silent treatment from my boyfriend, because I told him that he should change his underwear daily. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 951

You deserved it 597

UsEumYong 4

Wednesday 18 January 2012 8:45

Let him find out if you don't get your way, you yell "RAPE!" until you do.

StoryOfTheYear 14

Wednesday 18 January 2012 8:44

Dump his immature ass.

Comments

jaybirdie 0

Thursday 15 March 2012 3:54

Next pull out a ***** and shove it in his mouth

Optomisticpencil 7

Saturday 14 April 2012 1:48

Tell him to man the **** up or he'll be single.

Kathts7 12

Monday 21 May 2012 17:55

Yeah! You should definetely start screaming "RAPE"!!!

theunlovedemo 10

Wednesday 27 June 2012 16:53

dump the arsehole!

softpaws 17

Saturday 8 September 2012 23:51

Penis game! :D

greatfirstdate 18

Wednesday 10 October 2012 4:42

Ever since he read this FML, my boyfriend has started doing the exact same thing. I'm not even kidding.

red61977 9

Thursday 6 June 2013 13:48

What an idiot! Just yell asshole next time. The leave him there.

Rianokami 22

Friday 17 January 2014 8:16

Dump him. Dump him now. You aren't dating a child.

doglover100 28

Saturday 15 February 2014 4:23

He needs to grow up.

Chaos72 15

Thursday 24 April 2014 6:52

Maybe you should both see other men

Keywords

Love Cheating Money Work Relatable My ex Jealousy Health Accident ADHD Medication Snow Weather Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts

The Top

Today, yet again I had to lie to a date about what I do for a living, because every time I tell someone the truth, that I work in private equity, they have some choice words about "people like me ruining things" and "ruining the housing prices." I feel like an evil James Bond or something. FML

I agree, your life sucks 152

You deserved it 536

Today, I tried to talk to my teenage son about healthy masculinity. He said, "Yeah Mom, I know. Lift weights and eat red meat and fish. Can I go?" Not what I meant at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 248

You deserved it 367

The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I went on a 1 day cruise to the Bahamas. It happened to be on the same day of the worst sailing conditions. We spent 6 hours throwing up together. Him into the sink, and me into the toilet. We spent $200 to see the inside of our cabin's bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 800

You deserved it 3 599

Today, as I was putting on sports shoes to get to a job interview in a hurry, a man ran past me and grabbed my formal shoes while shouting, "Ninja!" Try explaining to the guy at the interview why I was wearing sneakers with a skirt suit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 520

You deserved it 4 891

Today, I was going so slow in traffic that my GPS asked me if I wanted to switch to pedestrian mode. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 299

You deserved it 8 135

Today, we had a fire drill in my dorm, and I live on the 7th floor of my building. They shut the elevators down and I had to walk down 14 flights of steps. I shattered my kneecap last week. They turned the alarm off when I got to the first floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 602

You deserved it 2 171

Today, I swerved off the road and hit a tree in order to avoid hitting a dog that came out of nowhere. Don't worry, I didn't hit him. The person behind me did, though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 481

You deserved it 5 119

Today, my elderly coworker was telling me about a long-lost friend, so I helped her use the Internet to look the friend up. We found her. Specifically, her obituary. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 303

You deserved it 1 034