Also, I honestly can't fathom why a person would think that's an OK situation, and I doubt he truly did either. Wanted to have his cake and eat it too

Well duh what would be the point of having your cake and not eating it. It would be a waste of cake.

I don't think it was cake he wanted to eat...

The cake is a lie...

43, the saying "You can't have your cake and eat it too" means you can't eat a slice of cake then still say "I have cake" because it's clearly already gone. It's easier to understand when read as "you can't eat your cake and have it too". Hope this clarifies (also, I'm assuming you didn't know the actual meaning since you used the typical joke associated with the phrase)

Why thank you 148, I am now well informed.

Don't give the boyfriend ideas lol

But are either of you seeing someone? Even if nothing is happening, it's a respect thing. Respect for your significant other... And respect for yourself.

I have someone - and my boyfriend trusts me enough to believe me when I say that I would not have sex with my ex. My ex and I go back a long way, and we were friends before, and are still friends after. But if he gets a girlfriend and she's uncomfortable with the idea, or my boyfriend becomes uncomfortable with the idea of us sleeping in the same bed, then it won't happen again. I respect my partner and I want him to be comfortable - so far, he's okay with it, and like I said, trusts me. Which is why I said they should talk about it. I also respect myself, and I fail to see how sleeping in the same bed as my friend is disrespectful.

@79 Good to see that there is at least one relationship still where people trust each other completely. I was beginning to worry all but a handful had died out. It's sad to see the number of people saying "dump him". For what? If he says nothing is going on, then why be a completely jealous person? You don't own them like a dog. Besides, you are supposed to trust them -- without video evidence, without testimony from friends. Unless you catch them doing something bad (before), it is supposed to be 100% trust. What's next? "I want to go to a movie theater/ take a walk with or talk to my ex, or even leave the house. Like we did before we dated -- as friends. Nothing is going to happen -- I give you my word." "Too bad, being in a relationship means I own you. No contact with any people of my gender, ever. Only me. You can leave our house when I decide to, and can go everywhere with you every moment. Not before" The only sensible boundary for most couples is no sex with anyone but each other. And that's reasonable. Anything else is just jealousy and wanting to control that person. And that's not a relationship.

@79 It's great that your boyfriend trusts you so much but he knows what you and your ex are doing and he's okay with that. OP didn't know what her boyfriend was doing. I agree with you though, OP should talk to her boyfriend and explain why this bothers her instead of just dumping him. Maybe she just doesn't trust him, it's not necessarily his fault, she might have betrayed and lied to in the past. His intentions seem pretty innocent, I don't think he wants to hurt OP either, he seems clueless and confused more than anything.

Yeah, except it's nowhere written that they are still having sex - it just says he invites her over and they share a bed. Everyone is assuming he's having sex with his ex though... :/ Guess we need OP to clear this up properly.