Love: Today, I found out that my wife is pregnant again. During her...

By Anonymous - 22/02/2012 19:55 - Canada

Today, I found out that my wife is pregnant again. During her last two pregnancies, she craved pop-tarts and screamed bloody murder at the drop of a hat, so I went out and bought a box for her. Turns out that this time, pop-tarts make her want to puke. Cue screaming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 144

You deserved it 4 534

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 11/12/2014 21:47 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I got to experience the horror of my wife's pregnancy. She woke me up abruptly at 5 am by throwing up all over me due to her terrible morning sickness, then ate pickles covered in mayonnaise, and later dropped to the floor sobbing when I told her we were out of dog food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 339

You deserved it 5 290

You BASTARD!

By moosemay - 02/04/2013 15:04 - Germany

Today, suffering from severe morning sickness followed by cravings for salty food, I had stacked our fridge with yummy snacks. When finally emerging from our bathroom after retching this morning, I found out my husband had eaten all my snacks the night before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 743

You deserved it 4 426

Hormonal

By Anonymous - 31/03/2024 15:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my wife is experiencing feral pregnancy cravings. She is craving some sort of cookie that she used to eat as a child. That particular cookie company went out of business 20 years ago, so my wife is growling at me like I was personally responsible for them shutting down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 508

You deserved it 123

By Anonymous - 27/10/2013 16:08 - United States - Ballwin

Today, my wife ate nothing all day due to her morning sickness, but I tried to get her to eat something light, for our baby's sake. I brought her a banana. She yelled at me for being a "pervert" and accused me of just wanting to watch her stick a phallic object in her mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 075

You deserved it 5 499

By mokki - 31/03/2015 12:56 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I am seven months pregnant with my third child. I woke up to my two-and-a-half year old trying to "pop the balloon" in my tummy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 268

You deserved it 3 534

By Scott - 15/09/2011 07:34 - United States

Today, I caught my pregnant wife trying to suck milk from her breasts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 292

You deserved it 6 419

The bed is lava

By for better or for farts - 06/08/2020 23:01

Today, my very pregnant wife woke up in bed, grabbing her stomach and writhing in pain. Worried that the baby might be in distress, I asked her what was wrong. She gasped then let out what can only be described as a river of hot liquid shit all over herself and my legs. We both cried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 408

You deserved it 207

Baby fever

By mala_19 - 06/07/2023 18:00 - Sweden - Burea

Today, I've eaten two pieces of fruit, three crackers, and 3.5 glasses of juice. I've also vomited 3 times and peed myself once. Can someone please tell me why I thought it would be a good idea to get pregnant again? FML

I agree, your life sucks 434

You deserved it 654

Off script

By Going hungry - 28/07/2024 17:00 - United States

Today, my fiancee asked me to text her a grocery list. I asked for meat, fruit, vegetables, you know, the staples. She came back with tons of sugar cereal, pop tarts, cookie dough, and other unhealthy crap. We have no other food, our monthly budget is gone, and junk food gives me horrible stomach cramps. FML

I agree, your life sucks 489

You deserved it 170

Crackers

By crazycrochetlady - 17/12/2018 20:00

Today, I'm 7 weeks pregnant. For the first time in a week, I feel well enough to eat something that isn't cheerios, a bagel, or crackers. I woke up 2 hours after going to bed with the shits. I'm almost convinced this kid hates me already. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 238

You deserved it 272

idontknowyou123 0

Thursday 23 February 2012 0:12

Only one solution... FALCOOON PUUUUNNCH

GVirdi 11

Thursday 23 February 2012 0:42

36 I was thinking condoms

Comments

YourFaceIs 0

Thursday 23 February 2012 10:36

LOL I'm thinking this one is a boy and the last two were girls or vice versa. With my son, I craved vegetables, lemons, and anything cheesy. With my daughter, I wanted fruity pebbles, pb&j, and honey buns, but vegetables made me gag just at the sight of them. lol You really never know. I feel for you though, but maybe hide for the next 8 months. lol Now I want an effing poptart at 4 AM! YOU BASTARD! Hahahaha

deequu 20

Thursday 23 February 2012 10:36

You don't know how to ask? Every time is different in some way. Jeez. I'd kill you.

muffinstump 0

Thursday 23 February 2012 11:58

Stop getting her pregnant...

perdix 29

Thursday 23 February 2012 13:15

Maybe you're not the dad this time (or maybe you weren't the first two ;) )

CptZoe 10

Thursday 23 February 2012 13:26

Give her a hit to the babymaker!

blink978 1

Thursday 23 February 2012 14:47

It was just one box eat them yourself.

cjhons 16

Thursday 23 February 2012 15:10

Really? F your life over this? It must be really hard for YOU. (rolls eyes)

roninvamp 4

Thursday 23 February 2012 15:32

You better tell her it's coat hanger-thirty and scrape it out

SammyS2012 21

Thursday 23 February 2012 15:37

For the people saying he should have used protection: they're husband and wife. Maybe they wanted children? He could want children but just fear the 9 months part. Honestly, I'm frightened of pregnant women and I'm a girl :(

vcolvin 0

Thursday 23 February 2012 23:28

Yeah you are right, maybe they wanted more children but why is he bitching if he knows how she gets when pregnant. He got her pregnant and needs to deal with it, just like she is gong to have to deal with getting fat, being uncomfortable and going through labor again he can take the emotions!! Nobody should feel sorry for him