Love: Today, I found out that some men think it's OK to clip their...

By Anonymous - 23/11/2009 10:13 - United States

Today, I found out that some men think it's OK to clip their fingernails at the table, in a restaurant, on a first date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 844

You deserved it 2 996

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 10/01/2018 01:30

Today, I went on a first date with a guy. As soon as we sat down at the restaurant, he immediately snatched my menu and said "You're having salad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 078

You deserved it 526

Spice

By Anonymous - 07/04/2021 04:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I dropped some food on the floor and picked it back up, took a bite, and quickly realised it had toenail cuttings in it. I never cut my toenails in my dining room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 442

You deserved it 977

Klutz

By Sara - 27/05/2024 09:00 - United Kingdom - Blackpool

Today, I went on a date with someone I really like. Midway through dinner, I felt something stuck in my teeth and, trying to be discreet, attempted to remove it. In the process, I flicked a piece of food across the table and it landed in his drink. He looked at it, then at me, then sighed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 419

You deserved it 145

By fububc - 05/02/2010 15:14 - France

Today, I went out for a smoke before dinner. I glanced through the window only to see my husband take my cooking scissors, cut his toe nails and then put them back in the utensils canister without washing them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 836

You deserved it 6 422

By inosehowthatgotthere - 10/02/2011 01:12 - United States

Today, the woman giving me a manicure found a booger under one of my fingernails. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 354

You deserved it 52 582

By wtf - 30/01/2015 09:00 - United States - Dearborn

Today, I walked into my bedroom to find my boyfriend clipping his toe nails into my pillow case. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 594

You deserved it 2 657

Forbidden

By grounded - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I went to dinner to meet my boyfriend's parents for the first time. I received a text message, so I pulled out my phone to check. Apparently, his parents have a "No phones at the table rule" and took my phone away until I could learn "proper table manners." FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 579

You deserved it 48 080

Let's do this again?

By Giselle - 13/10/2024 00:00 - Australia

Today, I went on a date with a guy who insisted on eating off my plate the whole night. He didn't order his own food, because according to him, "it’s more intimate to share." He didn’t get why I found the whole deal off-putting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 485

You deserved it 60

No third base for you

By Anonymous - 26/03/2023 14:00 - United Kingdom - Wakefield

Today, I went to a restaurant for a second date. As we were eating, a piece of food got stuck in my teeth. I tried to discreetly remove it, but ended up spitting it across the table and onto my date's glasses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 722

You deserved it 267

First and last date

By hairless by death - 13/08/2013 16:07 - United States - Santa Rosa

Today, I went on a date with a guy I really liked. The date was going great until he decided to try flossing his teeth with my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 285

You deserved it 4 241

allmidnighteyes 10

Monday 23 November 2009 20:09

At least he wasn't using a Pedegg on his feet and dumping the shavings into the food.

VirtuallyUnbreak 0

Monday 23 November 2009 20:12

Wow men go to such lengths to show disinterest.

Comments

sobe23 0

Thursday 26 November 2009 7:12

Gross!! One time life guarding I found someone's nasty toe nail clippings on the table I used. So gross!!

quascadL 0

Thursday 26 November 2009 21:26

Ewww, i would dump him

COBRAMORPH 0

Thursday 26 November 2009 22:58

Most women think its ok to have a guy pay for everything on a date, & think a kiss is enough.

ugh_a_lug 7

Thursday 3 December 2009 2:18

WIN

denyit 0

Friday 4 December 2009 17:48

What? It's not OK??!! :O :)

DarthRant 0

Sunday 6 December 2009 20:34

Are you kidding? You should've just walked out. And how does this guy get any dates?

egging 0

Thursday 1 July 2010 5:34

YDI for not know your proper punctuation.

mstarter 0

Sunday 22 August 2010 11:09

Average American Man FTW

Khfan12 13

Thursday 14 July 2011 23:06

Today, I found out, some girls think, it's ok to use commas, anywhere they want, whether they go, there or, not. FM, L,.

colonel2013 2

Saturday 28 April 2012 14:25

Why not eat it! Extra protein and win?

liaRawr 9

Sunday 8 December 2013 3:25

Just gagged

Keywords

Love Cheating Money Relatable Work My ex Jealousy Health Accident ADHD Medication Weather Snow Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts

The Top

Today, I got home from a business trip and found my wife in bed with my sister. She tried to claim they had just had a girls' night and fell asleep watching a movie, even though when I caught them, they were naked, wet and my wife’s head was buried in my sister's crotch. Movie night, sure. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 786

You deserved it 148

Today, I called off my engagement because I fell in love with my best friend of 10 years since we recently reconnected. I confessed my feelings to her and asked her out. She rejected me and said she only sees me as a friend. Now I’m completely single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 275

You deserved it 4 080

The Top

Today, after living for a while with my husband and our cat, I'm still not sure which of the two leaves the most hairs strewn around the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 364

You deserved it 1 847

Today, I was looking at my friend's dad's Facebook pictures because he recently posted a status update. I saw him at a bar with some ugly hooker that he was feeling up in almost every picture. After about 10 minutes of ridiculing and laughing at this ugly woman, I realize it's my mom in a wig. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 752

You deserved it 9 095

Today, I went for a job briefing, and after that was told to do some editing for them. When I asked the person whether I was paid for the day, she laughed and said no. She was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 563

You deserved it 3 118

Today, after a lifetime of being single, my parents finally found me a nice, intelligent, pretty girl. I was really excited, until she backed out on me when she found out our star signs don't match. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 925

You deserved it 1 747

Today, after a dental appointment, my lips were numb. On the bus on my way back home, the cutest girl smiled at me. In attempt to smile back, I forgot my lips were numb and ended up spitting my chewing gum at her. I had to switch buses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 172

You deserved it 5 995

Today, my daughter admitted to me that the only reason she's nice to me is because I give her money. She's six. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 239

You deserved it 5 360