Miscellaneous: Today, I found out that the crazy old man that sleep walks naked... - FML

By Username - 02/08/2011 06:46 - United States

Today, I found out that the crazy old man that sleep walks naked around my neighborhood every night is my grandpa. And he's not sleepwalking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 876

You deserved it 2 874

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Same thing different taste

By meeeoow - 22/01/2011 10:05 - Australia

Today, my drunken father decided to walk my quiet street naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 667

You deserved it 2 777

By hellphone_fml - 01/07/2019 20:00

Today, someone knocked on my door. I yelled "Yeah?" while getting up, since it was locked. My grandpa walked in, as I apparently didn't actually lock it. I was naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 379

You deserved it 659

By IrisKitty - 18/08/2015 07:07 - United States - Englewood

Today, I found out my grandma sleeps in the nude. I witnessed her running naked from her bedroom to the bathroom, because she "didn't have enough time" to put on her robe. I need to get my own place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 761

You deserved it 6 855

By Anonymous - 29/12/2009 18:52 - Canada

Today, my mom informed me that she saw me sleepwalking last night. I didn't think much of it, until I remembered that I went to bed without any clothes on last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 572

You deserved it 6 880

Let it all dangle

By Anonymous - 08/10/2023 07:30 - United States

Today, my 76 year-old mother-in-law stayed the night at our house. I bumped into her on the way to the bathroom during the night. She discovered I sleep naked. Sadly, I found out that she does, too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 350

You deserved it 785

By yayme. - 11/07/2013 22:26 - United States - Bismarck

Today, I found out that the weird guy that lives next door is my biological father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 275

You deserved it 4 042

By laundry day again... - 08/09/2013 13:07 - United States

Today, I discovered that my boyfriend, who has frequent night terrors, also sleepwalks. And apparently sleep-pisses on the bathroom rug. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 732

You deserved it 3 539

Dangleberries

By myeyesburn - 28/10/2019 14:00 - Canada

Today, I got up from bed after a good night's sleep, and walked outside. The first thing I saw was my 60-ish year-old neighbor bent over, picking up a newspaper. He was wearing nothing but a way too short bathrobe and a pair of rubber boots. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 579

You deserved it 171

By Anonymous - 05/07/2012 13:38 - United States - Hudson Falls

Today, I woke up to my drunk great grandfather peeing on my cat and thinking it was absolutely hysterical. This isn't the first time and he just moved in with me for the next six weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 638

You deserved it 2 244

By charlieg9 - 30/08/2013 12:33 - United States - East Meadow

Today, I found out that I'm the creepy uncle of the family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 275

You deserved it 15 865

Next

Top comments

317theterrible 0

Tuesday 2 August 2011 16:03

Wish i had ur grandpa

BADDiam 4

Tuesday 2 August 2011 16:03

Cool grandpa you have there.

Comments

xrainbowshadowx 17

Wednesday 3 August 2011 8:15

Your grandpa is a BAMF! :D

BrimfullOfAsher 20

Wednesday 3 August 2011 9:05

Sucks for you, but please speak to Grandpa's doctor. If it's dementia or Alzheimer's Disease. then it needs treatment. If not, then he needs someone to tell him to stop. Either way, if he keeps doing it he's going to get locked up somewhere.

Tesaatje 12

Wednesday 3 August 2011 17:14

Lucky for you he's does not do that by day.

jren207 24

Wednesday 3 August 2011 19:41

You're never too old for sexytime.

chrissie_love 6

Wednesday 3 August 2011 20:47

Oh Grandpa! At least he isn't having war flashbacks and attacking people...

Friaza 29

Wednesday 3 August 2011 22:40

Your grandpa is probably stealing your neighbor's fresh peas at night and blaming you. It happens!

maddogbball 0

Sunday 7 August 2011 6:15

He is airing out his package.

Nuahavizu 17

Thursday 11 August 2011 4:42

Your grandpa could have worse hobbies i guess... actually, i take that back. he might not, lol

BuddyBoo1613 0

Thursday 27 October 2011 2:50

Oo baby

ShananaginsLOL 13

Monday 31 December 2012 21:29

Ewww that's gross but hilarious!!!!!

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try the ice cubes in the vagina thing we'd read about. He kept sticking one in after another and they got stuck. My vagina had a brain freeze for a half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 785

You deserved it 3 951

Today, I'm working 12-hour overnight shifts for the next three days. My fiancee can't seem to grasp the concept of sleeping during the day, and keeps coming into the bedroom and telling me to stop being lazy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 581

You deserved it 98

The Top

Today, at work, I served a group of three teens. Their tab was $75 and they tipped me nothing. They wrote a thank you on a piece of receipt paper, put it in a glass of water and used a coaster to turn the glass of water upside down on the table, spilling water everywhere. They also stole my pen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 065

You deserved it 4 429

Today, I was at the gym on the elliptical. Feeling proud of myself for finishing a very intense workout, I looked to my left to see that the maintenance guy fixing the machine next to me had burned more calories testing the machine than I did during my entire workout. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 577

You deserved it 5 576

Today, my wife pretended she was going to suck my knob, but then bit it so hard she drew blood. Apparently, she saw the texts from my “girlfriend”. The texts were actually from our elderly neighbour, who asked me to feed her cat while she visited her daughter. She thought “feed my cat” meant "illicit sex." FML

I agree, your life sucks 974

You deserved it 106

Today, I was in the elevator with my boss when I accidentally let rip the vilest, most horrifying fart of my life as we left the first floor. We stood in silence as the elevator slowly ascended to the 21st floor, leaving us to marinate in the fumes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 409

You deserved it 46 352

Today, I broke my toe. My mom didn't think it was necessary to take me to hospital, opting to give me some painkillers instead. They were so strong that I fell asleep for an hour during my exam. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 527

You deserved it 4 085

Today, I opened up a can of tomato soup I'd taken from my parents' house recently. After eating the whole can, I started feeling a little off, so I checked the expiration date. It expired 12 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 842

You deserved it 38 367