Gross and Kids: Today, I found out that, when mad at us, my son picks the tops...

By Pimpleeater - 20/12/2011 07:45 - New Zealand

Today, I found out that, when mad at us, my son picks the tops off his shoulder-pimples and sprinkles them in our food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 463

You deserved it 5 679

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Same thing different taste

By imblue42 - 24/06/2015 05:16 - United States

Today, I walked into the dining room to find my mom popping pimples on my dad's back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 245

You deserved it 3 701

By beya - 31/08/2009 22:05 - Canada

Today, I woke up to my five year old son picking off the scabs from his chicken pox and dropping them into my open mouth as I slept. FML

I agree, your life sucks 93 982

You deserved it 5 895

By George Saunders - 21/03/2012 04:06 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I accused my son of faking being sick. He then blew chunks all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 084

You deserved it 53 494

Hair-raising

By what the fuck????? - 17/02/2022 16:01 - United States - Denver

Today, while at a restaurant, I watched in horror as my daughter picked a hair out of her food and continued eating it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 681

You deserved it 266

By Sadmom - 14/09/2016 02:15 - United States - Cherry Hill

Today, I found out that my son thinks it's acceptable to use words like "on fleek" in high school level essays. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 956

You deserved it 1 434

By Anonymous - 10/01/2010 10:45 - Canada

Today, I was wondering why my home smelled so weird, until I found out that my 4 year old son had been secretly scattering around food he didn't like to eat throughout the house. How did I find out? No one else in this family leaves half eaten spinach all over my underwear drawer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 865

You deserved it 3 893

By eenkoekje - 13/05/2011 07:20

Today, I was called by my son's school to pick him up. Apparently, he snorted baking soda, crushed aspirin, and flour because he thought it was coke. Where did I go wrong raising this twerp? FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 328

You deserved it 15 918

Dirty rice

By Dirtyrice - 24/12/2019 20:00 - United States - Albuquerque

Today, my 8-year-old son decided to make some rice for lunch. When we had it, I noticed a horrid gritty taste. It turns out, he puts dirt in the rice to make "Dirty Rice". FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 734

You deserved it 410

By lalanon - 03/04/2009 05:16 - Australia

Today, my friends were being rude to me, so I decided to be nice to a boy that didn't have many friends. While I was talking to him he popped a pimple on his face and tasted it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 186 963

You deserved it 33 463

By amaze - 25/06/2019 02:30

Today, I discovered just how picky my son is. In addition to understandably not eating vegetables, he also doesn’t eat chicken fingers, pizza, or ice cream, along with several other foods I assumed all kids love. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 616

You deserved it 357

MorningGranite 3

Tuesday 20 December 2011 11:56

Thats.....gross

ajmacrae 5

Tuesday 20 December 2011 11:58

EEEEEEEEEWWWWWWW!!!! I just threw up in my lecture when I read that

Comments

pinkWabbits 0

Tuesday 20 December 2011 23:00

That's ******* gross... Yet, so brilliant!

intimate_pretzel 6

Tuesday 20 December 2011 23:02

Teenagers...

KileyBoynton 0

Tuesday 20 December 2011 23:02

Does he realize what you can do to him?

R4P7OR 2

Tuesday 20 December 2011 23:08

Congratulations it's a douchebag

bekaashley 17

Tuesday 20 December 2011 23:19

Hahahahahahaha

cetlawizard 15

Tuesday 20 December 2011 23:34

Time to send his disgusting ass to boot camp & anger management class, so he can learn to curb his anger & learn some respect!

cooljcool 0

Wednesday 21 December 2011 0:08

Yummy no joke

Jirekianu2 19

Wednesday 21 December 2011 0:08

Slap. His. Shit.

sherryl_fml 0

Wednesday 21 December 2011 0:36

That's ****** feral!!!

jose1760 1

Wednesday 21 December 2011 0:37

You should beat the shit out of him...

Keywords

Love Cheating Money Relatable Work Jealousy My ex Health Accident ADHD Medication Weather Snow Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Am I overreacting? Relationship advice Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts

The Top

Today, I told my son to get a job and start paying rent. Five minutes later he transferred me rent for the next 5 years. When I demanded to know where he got that kind of money, he showed me his bank statements. He’s made more money mining Bitcoin than I’ve made in 15 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 273

You deserved it 1 363

Today, I don’t know what’s wrong with me, I can only have sex with really fat men, because that’s what turns me on, yet as soon as the sex is over, through no fault of theirs, I have to run to the toilet to be sick because I can’t believe what I just had sex with. I’m so messed up in the head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 905

You deserved it 2 524

The Top

Today, I got prostate examination for the first time. Now I can't decide what's worse, the fact that I got a boner when the doctor inserted his finger, or the fact that my wife told the story to pretty much everybody we know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 407

You deserved it 7 057

Today, my workplace was issued aprons. I then became the first and only employee in the history of the business to set an apron on fire while using the grill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 844

You deserved it 5 929

Today, my husband announced he’s no longer attracted to me and wants a divorce because I got a needed double mastectomy. When I reminded him of his wedding vows, “In sickness and in health” he said that he thought that meant “the flu or something, not this shit.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 365

You deserved it 126

Today, I got to be an innocent victim caught in the middle of a farting war between my boyfriend and my 10-year-old son. I fear my sense of smell will never recover. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 128

You deserved it 4 889

Today, my dad and grandpa came to a charity event that I helped set up for people who have autism. I appreciated their support, until I heard my dad say "Man, some of these 'tards are pretty hot." and my grandpa replying "Yeah. Probably like dead fish in bed, though." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 147

You deserved it 3 257

Today, and in the month since our son was born, my husband has lost interest in fatherhood entirely. This morning, our son had naptime in the kitchen, while he was also in the kitchen on a 2-hour work call, and according to him that was father-son bonding time just because they were in the same room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 733

You deserved it 208

Same thing different taste

Hair-raising

Dirty rice

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