Intimacy: Today, I found out that whenever my best friend used to say she...

By fmlskank93 - 01/09/2010 11:10 - Australia

Today, I found out that whenever my best friend used to say she wanted to do my dad, she wasn't kidding. She accomplished her mission in my bed after school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 782

You deserved it 4 626

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 22/04/2015 14:14 - United States - Athens

Today, my best friend can now say "I fucked your mom" to me and actually mean it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 097

You deserved it 3 676

Whoops

By Anonymous - 06/05/2021 07:01 - United Kingdom - Dewsbury

Today, I was asking my best friend to tell me all the boys she’d had sex with, because I thought she had slept with my boyfriend. She accidentally said my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 553

You deserved it 580

Reasonable

By Anonymous - 30/10/2010 01:21 - United States

Today, I found out that my best friend lost her virginity to my father. Her excuse? She was drunk. His excuse? "She's hot." FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 149

You deserved it 4 401

By Anonymous - 16/11/2009 03:28 - United States

Today, I found out that my dad has been having an affair. With my formerly favorite teacher. The best part? Yesterday, she announced to the class that she was pregnant. I clapped and congratulated her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 722

You deserved it 2 532

The Wire

By whorica139 - 02/09/2009 00:59 - United States

Today, I told my friend over videochat every explicit detail of what I had in store for my boyfriend later on in the day. I only realized afterwards that her whispering during the story was her way of trying to tell me her dad was in the room listening to the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 689

You deserved it 30 696

By maruskasommers - 09/01/2012 09:39 - Czech Republic

Today, I came home with a friend to find my mom scratching my dad's butt with a fork. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 309

You deserved it 2 710

Back to reality

By Anonymous - 24/12/2012 18:02 - United Kingdom - Saint Neots

Today, as her parents were supposed to be out of town, I stayed over with my girlfriend, and we ended up in bed together. Later on, while poking through the fridge, I heard footsteps, so I said, "Didn't think you'd be walking after that." I closed the fridge and saw her dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 970

You deserved it 28 295

By topfisherman - 05/02/2010 20:17 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to have fun at school. So, we went into the locker room. We were making out for a couple minutes when the door opened. It was the principal, who also happens to be her dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 765

You deserved it 42 246

She's got it going on!

By Heartbroken - 08/08/2018 07:00 - United States

Today, my best friend told me he had a crush on someone in my house. I got excited, but he told me it was my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 453

You deserved it 237

By Nobody - 17/10/2010 17:17 - United States

Today, my best friend was doing my hair. She got frustrated and exclaimed, "It won't stay!" I replied with, "Just like your mom!" It was then that I remembered her mom had just left her dad and moved out of the house to be with someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 180

You deserved it 58 529

PolishHammer 0

Wednesday 1 September 2010 16:03

Wow umm I'd kill her

ImaCanuck 0

Wednesday 1 September 2010 16:05

Ew.... how old is your dad and friend? sounds kind of pedo.

Comments

nerdwithagun 0

Thursday 2 September 2010 7:46

Backhand that bitch!

sallen0046 4

Thursday 2 September 2010 8:12

You do realize your father, as the adult, is more responsible for this than your "friend", right?

EightInchNails 9

Thursday 2 September 2010 8:13

American Beauty...

erinbearr2468 0

Thursday 2 September 2010 8:19

woww. classy.

erinbearr2468 0

Thursday 2 September 2010 8:19

woww. classy.

jem12 0

Thursday 2 September 2010 8:28

time to get a new best friend

jem12 0

Thursday 2 September 2010 8:28

time to get a new best friend

oshi16toofly 0

Thursday 2 September 2010 8:59

what kind of dad sleeps with his kids friends how sick

GlaoigharAirm 0

Thursday 2 September 2010 11:08

And father of the year award goes to...

cademj 0

Thursday 2 September 2010 14:29

TRAAAASHY!

Keywords

Love Christmas Break-ups Miscellaneous Poopoo peepee Gross Argument Ironic Friends Awkward Haircut Cute Relatable You're fired Work Cars Covid Health Cheating Jealousy Parenting Kids Family DIY Cats Roommate Sex Am I overreacting? Intimacy Management

The Top

Today, my wedding limo driver got high and forgot to pick us up, so the photographers gave us a ride back to the venue from the photo shoot. Three bridesmaids, a flower girl, and I, in my full wedding dress, had to fit in the back of the 1997 Toyota Camry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 647

You deserved it 390

Today, I was at the gym on the elliptical. Feeling proud of myself for finishing a very intense workout, I looked to my left to see that the maintenance guy fixing the machine next to me had burned more calories testing the machine than I did during my entire workout. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 579

You deserved it 5 576

The Top

Today, I came home and my spouse decided to bring up our past arguments. I apologized to him for the mean things I said, not conjuring his faults. I spoke to him gently and was interested in his thoughts. I validated his feelings. I was engaged in the discussion. He responded to me with, “Too little too late!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 606

You deserved it 299

Today, at daycare, a little girl cussed me out because I didn't have any apple juice left. When I called her parents, they sided with her and cussed me out too. My boss refused to sympathize, and reprimanded me for not making sure we still had apple juice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 810

You deserved it 2 908

Today, I was hooking up with a guy for the first time and he told me I was in luck. When I asked why he replied, "I like little boobs." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 349

You deserved it 6 673

Today, I got more pleasure from scratching a bug bite than I've gotten from my boyfriend in 2 whole years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 227

You deserved it 11 656

Today, I got so nervous that I actually peed my pants during a job interview. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 608

You deserved it 13 384

Today, I found my checking and savings account to both read $0.00. My parents transferred all my money to theirs because "I'm irresponsible, and not fit to handle money." I'm a 3.8 college student and have a full-time job. They are currently unemployed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 894

You deserved it 3 898