Intimacy: Today, I found out that whenever my best friend used to say she...

By fmlskank93 - 01/09/2010 11:10 - Australia

Today, I found out that whenever my best friend used to say she wanted to do my dad, she wasn't kidding. She accomplished her mission in my bed after school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 782

You deserved it 4 626

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 22/04/2015 14:14 - United States - Athens

Today, my best friend can now say "I fucked your mom" to me and actually mean it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 097

You deserved it 3 676

Whoops

By Anonymous - 06/05/2021 07:01 - United Kingdom - Dewsbury

Today, I was asking my best friend to tell me all the boys she’d had sex with, because I thought she had slept with my boyfriend. She accidentally said my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 553

You deserved it 580

Reasonable

By Anonymous - 30/10/2010 01:21 - United States

Today, I found out that my best friend lost her virginity to my father. Her excuse? She was drunk. His excuse? "She's hot." FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 149

You deserved it 4 401

By Anonymous - 16/11/2009 03:28 - United States

Today, I found out that my dad has been having an affair. With my formerly favorite teacher. The best part? Yesterday, she announced to the class that she was pregnant. I clapped and congratulated her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 722

You deserved it 2 532

The Wire

By whorica139 - 02/09/2009 00:59 - United States

Today, I told my friend over videochat every explicit detail of what I had in store for my boyfriend later on in the day. I only realized afterwards that her whispering during the story was her way of trying to tell me her dad was in the room listening to the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 689

You deserved it 30 696

By maruskasommers - 09/01/2012 09:39 - Czech Republic

Today, I came home with a friend to find my mom scratching my dad's butt with a fork. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 309

You deserved it 2 710

Back to reality

By Anonymous - 24/12/2012 18:02 - United Kingdom - Saint Neots

Today, as her parents were supposed to be out of town, I stayed over with my girlfriend, and we ended up in bed together. Later on, while poking through the fridge, I heard footsteps, so I said, "Didn't think you'd be walking after that." I closed the fridge and saw her dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 970

You deserved it 28 295

By topfisherman - 05/02/2010 20:17 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to have fun at school. So, we went into the locker room. We were making out for a couple minutes when the door opened. It was the principal, who also happens to be her dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 765

You deserved it 42 246

She's got it going on!

By Heartbroken - 08/08/2018 07:00 - United States

Today, my best friend told me he had a crush on someone in my house. I got excited, but he told me it was my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 453

You deserved it 237

By Nobody - 17/10/2010 17:17 - United States

Today, my best friend was doing my hair. She got frustrated and exclaimed, "It won't stay!" I replied with, "Just like your mom!" It was then that I remembered her mom had just left her dad and moved out of the house to be with someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 180

You deserved it 58 529

PolishHammer 0

Wednesday 1 September 2010 16:03

Wow umm I'd kill her

ImaCanuck 0

Wednesday 1 September 2010 16:05

Ew.... how old is your dad and friend? sounds kind of pedo.

Comments

randomlover 0

Wednesday 1 September 2010 19:02

oh again if your dad is hot I can why cause there are some sexy ass dads out there but I would never **** them

uroborous 0

Wednesday 1 September 2010 19:04

I have the perfect revenge for you op... HAVE SEX WITH YOUR BEST FRIENDS DAD IN YOUR BEST FRIENDS BED!

Reynaaa 0

Wednesday 1 September 2010 19:05

wow that sucks . shez messed up , !

LOLSWAT 0

Wednesday 1 September 2010 19:06

time to bang her dad in her bed!

hthelittleone 10

Wednesday 1 September 2010 19:07

hahaha DILF.

mochalate 1

Wednesday 1 September 2010 19:14

can I get your dads number??

reptarroars 7

Wednesday 1 September 2010 19:22

wow ... your dad most be that hot? o.O I would of beaten her and your dad'd ass sorry op, you deserve a better friend :(

chrissaaababy 0

Wednesday 1 September 2010 19:23

my friend said my dad was hot, now if she ever says she's wants to sleep with him. her face is going to meet the floor 

lucidlucia 0

Wednesday 1 September 2010 19:29

First...your 'friend' is a ****! Second...your Dad is gross and depending on your 'friend's' age...is likely a pedophile. I'd call the cops.

soonerfan285 0

Wednesday 1 September 2010 19:31

nice!

Keywords

Break-ups Love Christmas Gross Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Ironic Argument Awkward Friends Cute Haircut Relatable Cars Work You're fired Covid Health Jealousy Cheating Parenting Kids Family DIY Cats Sex Roommate Am I overreacting? Intimacy Management

The Top

Today, my wife dragged me to the bathroom, promising to "show something hot." Not that I was in the mood, but okay. She took off her pants, sat on a toilet, and demanded that I tell her about my day. She wanted me to entertain her while she was taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 507

You deserved it 84

Today, my brother and sister-in-law come over ONLY to use up the resources at our house - like food, TV subscriptions, and other items. They claim to love my kids and come over for them. If only they would look up from their phone and spend actual time with the kids. Is there a way to block toxic relatives? FML

I agree, your life sucks 404

You deserved it 102

The Top

Today, when I told my family I was a vegetarian, I expected them to make fun of me because that's just my family. But what I wasn't expecting was my dad to use raw meat as a puppet and make it say, "Eat me! Eat me!" then throw it at my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 264

You deserved it 7 806

Today, my 5 month old son decided that my lip ring was a toy. Thinking it would be ok, I let him touch it. He got his finger caught and pulled his hand back. The lip ring is still in, but now I have a huge gaping hole in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 513

You deserved it 53 859

Today, I took my regular shit, like clockwork. Same time, every single day. Unfortunately, that time is midnight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 652

You deserved it 141

Today, at the age of 25, I learned that it is not normal to have absolutely zero sexual desire. All this time, I thought you had to have sex first before developing a sex drive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 171

You deserved it 209

Today, I was cashiering at Target when an old woman came into my checkout line. Her items? Variety pack of pleasuring condoms, a bottle of KY sensual lube, and two colorful thongs. As I'm scanning these, she leans in and whispers, "I love toys." FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 704

You deserved it 3 516

Today, I stayed in a hotel near the college I was applying for a scholarship. We were eating breakfast and there were some other applicants in the breakfast room. As we walked away, my mother yelled, "My daughter's gonna get this scholarship so there's no reason for you muddafuckas to show up." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 538

You deserved it 3 659