Health: Today, I fractured my finger setting up a rat trap. FML

By _Oblivion_ - 27/11/2011 01:51 - United States

Today, I fractured my finger setting up a rat trap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 839

You deserved it 13 608

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Same thing different taste

Jerry wins again

By Trapped - 10/06/2009 08:13 - Australia

Today, I failed a basic intelligence test when the mouse trap I was setting up snapped on my thumb. Later, when I checked the trap I saw that the mouse had managed to lick all the bait off the trap without being caught, I have a sore thumb and was outsmarted by a rodent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 303

You deserved it 14 163

Spooky

By mike - 11/03/2011 18:34 - United States

Today, I set up a mouse trap to kill the rodent plaguing my kitchen. While lying in bed, I heard an unmistakable snap, and ran to see what I'd caught. The mouse trap was missing. I now have a large, angry, and possibly dying animal running around my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 586

You deserved it 7 162

By AquaKelly - 24/12/2014 01:48 - United States - Newark

Today, I set a trap to catch a mouse that ran across my foot. Not only did the trap shut on my finger twice, but I watched the mouse run over the trap without it snapping shut. I guess I have a new roommate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 823

You deserved it 4 763

What? How? Why?

By Anonymous - 17/03/2021 22:01 - United States - Boise

Today, I smashed my finger with a hammer. A finger on the hand holding the hammer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 701

You deserved it 309

Ouch

By Keegan O - 16/03/2021 05:01

Today, I was cleaning out the crawlspace and set a mousetrap off with my testicles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 188

You deserved it 239

Carly Rae Jepsen

By Anonymous - 14/07/2024 23:00

Today, I was setting up a rat trap at the kitchen table and had just gotten it set when my phone rang. I foolishly leaned over to grab my phone, brushed against the trap, and it snapped closed on my nipple. I wasn’t wearing a bra so that thing grabbed my nipple hard and didn’t let go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 437

You deserved it 246

Dumb, but relatable

By Maju - 31/10/2019 04:00 - Netherlands

Today, I hit my toe against a table. Out of frustration, I kicked the table and broke my little toe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 551

You deserved it 2 736

By xxmollyxx - 16/12/2010 11:54 - Sweden

Today, I dropped my remote behind the bed and went to reach for it. Instead of the remote, I grabbed hold of a rat carcass that must have got in when builders were working in my bathroom several weeks ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 632

You deserved it 3 574

By Anonymous - 08/08/2018 20:30

Today, at 9 o’clock in the morning while I was working, I made the mistake of being comfortable with a machine that literally bends and breaks steel bars. I lost my entire middle finger and the top third of my pinky and ring fingers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 735

You deserved it 1 556

By thwack - 24/05/2012 18:26 - United States

Today, during a workplace safety exercise at work, I managed to cut off the tip of my thumb. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 089

You deserved it 3 984

mspoutylips 8

Sunday 27 November 2011 9:21

Oh the irony.

StoryOfTheYear 14

Sunday 27 November 2011 9:39

19- Give 1 a break. He's a purple ostrich with an identity crisis. He's got far more important things on his mind than proper grammar.

Comments

ohwellwhyme 2

Sunday 27 November 2011 9:42

Laughed.

osnapitzjp 0

Sunday 27 November 2011 9:43

Spray your house with the urine of an aardvark and the rat will be gone in two days

mspoutylips 8

Sunday 27 November 2011 9:45

Now where would I find aardvark piss?

cheeseboy77 0

Sunday 27 November 2011 10:00

get a new pet...don't potty train it

CryMoreFMLs 14

Sunday 27 November 2011 9:46

Ahh I see that now.. I feel so ... Awful for making fun of him now...

skullcandifiedDJ 5

Sunday 27 November 2011 9:49

that rat is probably laughing it's ass off by now...

StoryOfTheYear 14

Sunday 27 November 2011 9:49

33- Shit's forgiven. Not everyone is as insightful.

marryjaneex0 7

Sunday 27 November 2011 9:51

good one

cheeseboy77 0

Sunday 27 November 2011 9:55

well, now if I hate op I can call them a rat and give a good reason...

habibiiiiiii 2

Sunday 27 November 2011 9:58

Dumbass

chili10 18

Sunday 27 November 2011 9:59

You tried to steal the cheese didn't you? That's for the mouse you idiot!

ThatFml 5

Sunday 27 November 2011 10:12

Classic.

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The Top

Today, I was in an elevator with my girlfriend when it suddenly stopped. Thinking of being spontaneous like in all the movies, I propped her up on the railings and started getting passionate. That's when the emergency phone rang. And I discovered there was a security camera. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 331

You deserved it 41 022

Today, I noticed one of my toenails was getting super long, so I cut it. In doing so, I accidentally ripped it off and it started bleeding. As I went to get something to stop it from bleeding, I got a huge splinter in my little toe, causing a painful infection. I think I should just go back to bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 324

You deserved it 170

The Top

Today, after hearing the results of my spinal tap, following several scans, my doctor said discovering that I have Multiple Sclerosis was a "happy accident". FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 991

You deserved it 1 498

Today, my girlfriend cheated on me, and for the second time in two days. She has now cheated a total of 7 times in the space of 6 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 265

You deserved it 1 052

Today, I finally got my laptop back after my friend broke it a few weeks ago. As I walked back into our place with my laptop in my bag, the same friend burst out and tackled me. My bag fell and slammed into the floor. Guess who has to pay for another repair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 238

You deserved it 4 719

Today, although many years ago I promised myself to never love a member of the armed forces due to the danger of losing him early, I did in fact fall in love with a soldier. Never mind though, as you can't lose what isn't yours in the first place, but rather your friend's husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 282

You deserved it 1 204

Today, I learned that my brother has been secretly married to his girlfriend for over a year. That means that during Christmas break, when I told him that she was a "toxic bitch" and that he should leave her before she drags him down with her, they had already been married for 6 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 377

You deserved it 471

Today, at age 31, I was about to finally lose my virginity. As we tumbled onto the bed, an excruciating pain shot through my stomach. It turned out to be a hernia, and no, I didn't get laid in the end. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 330

You deserved it 4 684