Love: Today, I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. My husband, the...

By Sammy - 27/04/2011 17:07 - United States

Today, I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. My husband, the father of the baby, got a birdie on the golf course at the exact same time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 814

You deserved it 5 555

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 14/02/2015 02:43 - United States - Titusville

Today, I gave birth to a baby girl. Where was my husband after the agony finally ended? Standing just outside the room, flirting with a nurse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 292

You deserved it 3 537

Family portrait

By Anonymous - 29/05/2022 14:00

Today, I gave birth, but my husband was late and got here just in time to cut the cord. He was hung over after celebrating his impending fatherhood all night. He missed the cord twice, cut it, then fell over, and wound up in the bed next to mine, with a hydrating IV and a bashed head where he hit it on the baby's cot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 132

You deserved it 191

Suspicious coincidence?

By Confused - 20/05/2023 15:00

Today, my wife had our first child. He's identical to her coworker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 966

You deserved it 137

Classic Dave

By not the mama - 24/10/2020 02:01 - United States - Hesperia

Today, after years of trying, I got the wonderful news that my husband is going to be a father. Too bad I’m not the mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 678

You deserved it 111

Welcome to the world!

By Anonymous - 01/04/2020 08:00 - United Kingdom - Aldershot

Today, I helped deliver the baby belonging to the woman my husband left me for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 534

You deserved it 166

Congrats!

By sodonewiththis89 - 10/02/2021 13:59

Today, I found out my husband is having a baby. Too bad I'm not pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 383

You deserved it 83

Planned parenthood

By KittenTitz - 03/05/2020 20:00

Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. I also found out that the dad has a fiancée. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 779

You deserved it 650

By NewBride - 14/08/2013 17:39 - United States - Lincoln

Today, was my wedding day. We had a beautiful outdoor wedding and everything was going perfectly as planned. That is, until a bird flew over us and left a present right between my boobs. I had to stand at the altar for 30 minutes as bird poop melted in my cleavage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 847

You deserved it 5 595

By Anonymous - 10/01/2016 02:17 - United States - Akron

Today, I found out that I'm going to be a father. Too bad I can't tell my wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 802

You deserved it 79 052

News to me

By RBEE - 12/12/2009 18:02 - France

Today, my colleague rushed off to the hospital for the birth of his first son. Having met his wife at the Christmas party a couple of years ago, I called to congratulate her. Shame I didn't realize it was his mistress having the baby. Guess who broke the news to the wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 754

You deserved it 4 180

TiffyterroriZe 9

Wednesday 27 April 2011 22:34

Tiger Woods is the father?

squishy01 0

Wednesday 27 April 2011 22:34

What an ungrateful bastard.

Comments

chasewknight 0

Thursday 28 April 2011 6:40

I thought at first oh that's cool ... then...wait why the **** is the husband at a golf course ?! ... you know were to stick his favorite driver

theUBERcomment 1

Thursday 28 April 2011 8:17

what an ass.

kag_eAkuma 0

Thursday 28 April 2011 9:29

I can't believe that. he should be called a father.

SpeshulK 0

Wednesday 4 May 2011 5:40

Nt? Shouldn't?

KCThaEclipse33 0

Thursday 28 April 2011 9:35

gtfoh...Some father he'll be...Im 19, Gettin rdy to have a Lil gurl...Nd im not miissin it for tha world...1st Bby @ tht

iHorus_fml 0

Thursday 28 April 2011 10:49

congrats to your baby:)

zcrane4 0

Thursday 28 April 2011 11:07

well for what it's worth...congrats on the baby :D

wriptidez 0

Thursday 28 April 2011 11:12

congrats on new lil one

wriptidez 0

Thursday 28 April 2011 11:12

congrats on new lil one

Deroni76 5

Thursday 28 April 2011 11:44

That sucks... congratulations anyways! =)

SillyRabbit123 3

Thursday 28 April 2011 12:39

that asshole

Keywords

Love Embarrassing Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Christmas Romantic Break-ups Money Annoying Gross Ironic Argument Friends Awkward Cute Haircut Holidays Lonely Relatable Capitalism Work Bosses You're fired Cars Covid Health Jealousy Cheating Parenting Kids

The Top

Today, I found out that my boyfriend lost a bunch of money by buying some scam cryto crap linked to that "Hawk tuah" girl. Easiest break-up ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 485

You deserved it 117

Today, I realized that I will never be able to buy the car I've wanted since middle school. The car? A greyish-silver Volvo, which is the make and color of car Kurt Cobain drove. The reason? I've been informed that it's also the make and color of the car that Edward Cullen drives in Twilight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 792

You deserved it 11 207

The Top

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me by sending me a Bumper Sticker on Facebook that said "Bitch, let's get married". FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 849

You deserved it 8 405

Today, my husband left me for one of the college students I was tutoring in Spanish. We have two kids and are expecting a third. He left a note that said he would "stay in touch." FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 165

You deserved it 2 835

Crushed it! (The bag of groceries, of course.)

I agree, your life sucks 283

You deserved it 227

Today, I had to explain to a coworker that even though, yes, I’m Polish and, yes, my family’s from Poland, that, no, we’re not from The North Pole. We’re not from Antarctica either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 934

You deserved it 128

Today, two days into our honeymoon, my mother-in-law turned up at our Spa hotel and pretended it was a huge coincidence. We are an 8-hour flight away, yet she tried to claim she had a Spa coupon about to expire, from another country. Nice try Linda you nosy, interfering bitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 260

You deserved it 85

Today, I went to the dry-cleaner's and went to get my bag of laundry from my trunk, but I ended up dropping the bag. My dirty underwear blew around the parking lot. I had to chase it all down as a bunch of people looked on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 555

You deserved it 3 929