Kids: Today, I gave my son a bollocking for losing a very important... - FML

By Daddy - 10/11/2008 12:06 - France

Today, I gave my son a bollocking for losing a very important paper that I needed for work. I've just found it in my right pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 472

You deserved it 59 699

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Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

Prank or brain melt?

By Anonymous - 29/05/2023 22:00 - Canada - Woodstock

Today, my son texted me that he couldn't find his phone, so I went to go help him look for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 231

You deserved it 924

By copycat - 19/03/2015 05:05 - United States - Norco

Today, I turned in my homework. Too bad I accidentally handed in the printed answer sheet I found online to copy from. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 668

You deserved it 50 605

By oh, shit...... - 02/02/2016 20:27 - Denmark - Bagsv?rd

Today, I was at the gym. At the end of my workout, I realised I lost the bundle of keys I had in my pocket that contained the key to my locker with all my stuff. I panic and start looking for them. After an hour of desperate searching, I find them thrown in the bottom of the public toilet. Thanks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 416

You deserved it 1 989

By Gottalovepeople - 31/12/2017 01:34

Today, I found out that my ten-page paper, which has taken me two months to construct perfectly and is worth 30% of my grade, was on the wrong book. It’s due tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 190

You deserved it 2 327

Keynote

By Andrew - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, there was a meeting at work, during which I had to give a presentation to my boss and other attendants. The first subject I had to tackle was how my 5 year-old son got to my briefcase and replaced its contents with some crayons and a fluffy teddy bear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 481

You deserved it 5 597

Little shit

By emmalou - 29/08/2022 06:00

Today, my son tried extort me into turning the WiFi back on by hiding my purse. He was mad because he'd lost access for being disrespectful. FML

I agree, your life sucks 865

You deserved it 234

By Anonymous - 22/12/2013 06:17 - United States - Roseville

Today, I was helping my mom look for some money she'd misplaced. At my wit's end, I flipped through her diary, in case she'd hidden it between the pages as she has before. Didn't find the money, but I did find out she might well be cheating on my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 406

You deserved it 8 305

ETA? No idea!

By Anonymous - 31/03/2023 02:00

Today, I was running late for an important meeting and couldn't find my car keys. After searching around for way too long, I finally realised where they were - in the pocket of the pants I'd worn the day before, which were now spinning around in the now-unstoppable, two-hour washing machine cycle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 647

You deserved it 408

Market crash

By Anonymous - 17/09/2019 20:00 - New Zealand - Wellington

Today, my son took some of my underwear to school. What's worse is he sold it to his classmate for $10. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 775

You deserved it 191

Losing my mind

By rawr - 30/10/2019 18:00

Today, I managed to lose a 3XL fleece jacket in my house, which had my wallet and car keys in it. I had the pleasure of explaining this to my boss when I had to call in, after everyone I called did not respond. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 417

You deserved it 354

Next

Top comments

xMooMoox 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 21:41

Son you lost my paper go canoe in that lake!!! It means an argument you guys.

F14Shado 0

Friday 27 March 2009 5:05

I think that means beating..

Comments

_shit_happens_ 0

Friday 27 March 2009 4:15

a row?

Daft_Punk709 0

Tuesday 27 April 2010 2:08

FIRST!!! (to comment to the first comment)

Xuphra 0

Monday 10 May 2010 23:58

Hope you learned OP. ******* idiot.

grrrrmetigers 0

Wednesday 25 May 2011 2:56

it means a fight!

I_lost_the_game 25

Monday 9 July 2012 0:35

You can't give someone a row, so I'm guessing that in this situation, it doesn't mean a fight.

BeforeItWasCool 12

Monday 3 December 2012 2:17

In some parts of Europe to give someone a row means to tell them off, or to argue.

F14Shado 0

Friday 27 March 2009 5:05

I think that means beating..

peceout 29

Tuesday 28 October 2014 8:12

I'm sorry, but reading this FML makes me mad. You should never, and I mean never beat your kids. It makes me sick.

natyemi15 15

Saturday 1 November 2014 3:25

idk, corporeal punishment has some benefits I mean, it did me some good. I'm not in jail :)

thatonetribute 31

Thursday 21 May 2015 19:48

A row is a fight. Not beating.

GamingTroller101 12

Thursday 16 June 2016 13:10

If it does, then he should pay him back with something like money or perhaps a game.

Phantom034 0

Saturday 28 March 2009 21:12

Kid might be holding that over your head for a little while.

rcbarnes 24

Friday 2 March 2012 3:27

And if the kid doesn't I hope his mother does!

Boomi 38

Wednesday 14 September 2016 17:40

I know I would.

xMooMoox 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 21:41

Son you lost my paper go canoe in that lake!!! It means an argument you guys.

frozenshake 5

Thursday 16 December 2010 4:58

lol "row"

ihaswaffle 0

Friday 29 April 2011 2:06

ahahahaha

adameeo 21

Thursday 10 January 2013 6:49

Lol! I lost it when I read this.

MukyDaCookie 0

Sunday 5 April 2009 20:06

AHAHAHHA your kids going to grow up to be a drug dealer and probably be in the system before his 16th birthday. Have fun paying bail

LiLOnE 0

Wednesday 8 April 2009 23:47

wtf is row

camiwami 0

Monday 22 August 2011 7:58

U should read number 4 and learn a new word!

jkilla6 0

Thursday 16 April 2009 10:44

he told the kid off people. i bet you felt like an ass, i've done the same sort of thing so many times.

noha_fml 0

Thursday 23 April 2009 6:20

my mum always does the same thing to me and it pisses me off like hell. YDI and he should probably give you a "row" now whatever that is.

PaperxHearts_xox 0

Sunday 26 April 2009 23:34

My mother does that all the time. and to give a row means a beating, spanking, general discipline. but at least you know to check your pockets before blaming someone.

leh9 2

Wednesday 2 November 2011 2:59

Everyone listen to dis guy

derailed 1

Thursday 30 April 2009 1:01

I give myself a row all the time

CharlesScene 3

Sunday 30 March 2014 20:21

I can give you one too.... heh heh

Keywords

Love Cheating Work Money Relatable My ex Jealousy Accident Health Medication ADHD Weather Snow Miscellaneous Awkward Embarrassing Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts

The Top

Today, I found one of those realistic, expensive sex dolls in my boyfriend's cupboard. I asked why on earth he had that and apparently it’s for all those filthy, violent sexual things he likes to do, but knows most women would never even agree to try. Um, WHAT? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 248

You deserved it 529

Today, my husband decided to flash me while I was on a video call, so my clients announced they would only work with professionals, and ended the call. I was giving a virtual showing of a £1.2 million house they were thinking of buying. At 6% commission, my husband's junk just cost us £72,000. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 406

You deserved it 276

The Top

Today, while parking my car, I accidentally bumped into the car in front of me, making a small, barely noticeable dent. I felt bad, wrote an apology note, and stuck it on his windshield. An hour later, he replied by keying the entire right side of my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 709

You deserved it 10 651

Today, I’m eight months pregnant. My six-year-old son told me: "Mom, the baby farted in your belly". Why would he think that? "Well, because the smell comes out of your mouth!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 830

You deserved it 153

Today, my boyfriend came to a family barbecue. I guess my dad heard him talking about the "fun" we'd be having later, because over the next two hours, he tripped my boyfriend up on concrete, threw a beer can at him, and sprayed him full-force with a water hose. All "accidentally" of course. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 851

You deserved it 7 637

Today, after I was with my ex for five years before we split up because she didn’t want to marry, have children, or seemingly grow up at all, now a year later she has married some dude and is two months into their first planned pregnancy. I guess she just didn’t want to marry or have kids with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 757

You deserved it 183

Today, I had 16 freakin' protein bars as a meal, the only meal of the day, as well as 5 apples after. I'm feeling like Yellowstone erupting in my guts right now. It hurts as fuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 158

You deserved it 2 185

Today, my parents yelled at me for coming home drunk from a party last night. They said I couldn't hang out with my best friend anymore as he's a "bad influence". He was the only one sober in our group and drove me home safely. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 080

You deserved it 513