Kids: Today, I gave my son a bollocking for losing a very important... - FML

By Daddy - 10/11/2008 12:06 - France

Today, I gave my son a bollocking for losing a very important paper that I needed for work. I've just found it in my right pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 472

You deserved it 59 699

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Same thing different taste

Prank or brain melt?

By Anonymous - 29/05/2023 22:00 - Canada - Woodstock

Today, my son texted me that he couldn't find his phone, so I went to go help him look for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 231

You deserved it 924

By copycat - 19/03/2015 05:05 - United States - Norco

Today, I turned in my homework. Too bad I accidentally handed in the printed answer sheet I found online to copy from. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 668

You deserved it 50 605

By oh, shit...... - 02/02/2016 20:27 - Denmark - Bagsv?rd

Today, I was at the gym. At the end of my workout, I realised I lost the bundle of keys I had in my pocket that contained the key to my locker with all my stuff. I panic and start looking for them. After an hour of desperate searching, I find them thrown in the bottom of the public toilet. Thanks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 416

You deserved it 1 989

By Gottalovepeople - 31/12/2017 01:34

Today, I found out that my ten-page paper, which has taken me two months to construct perfectly and is worth 30% of my grade, was on the wrong book. It’s due tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 190

You deserved it 2 327

Keynote

By Andrew - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, there was a meeting at work, during which I had to give a presentation to my boss and other attendants. The first subject I had to tackle was how my 5 year-old son got to my briefcase and replaced its contents with some crayons and a fluffy teddy bear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 481

You deserved it 5 597

Little shit

By emmalou - 29/08/2022 06:00

Today, my son tried extort me into turning the WiFi back on by hiding my purse. He was mad because he'd lost access for being disrespectful. FML

I agree, your life sucks 865

You deserved it 234

By Anonymous - 22/12/2013 06:17 - United States - Roseville

Today, I was helping my mom look for some money she'd misplaced. At my wit's end, I flipped through her diary, in case she'd hidden it between the pages as she has before. Didn't find the money, but I did find out she might well be cheating on my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 406

You deserved it 8 305

ETA? No idea!

By Anonymous - 31/03/2023 02:00

Today, I was running late for an important meeting and couldn't find my car keys. After searching around for way too long, I finally realised where they were - in the pocket of the pants I'd worn the day before, which were now spinning around in the now-unstoppable, two-hour washing machine cycle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 647

You deserved it 408

Market crash

By Anonymous - 17/09/2019 20:00 - New Zealand - Wellington

Today, my son took some of my underwear to school. What's worse is he sold it to his classmate for $10. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 775

You deserved it 191

Losing my mind

By rawr - 30/10/2019 18:00

Today, I managed to lose a 3XL fleece jacket in my house, which had my wallet and car keys in it. I had the pleasure of explaining this to my boss when I had to call in, after everyone I called did not respond. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 417

You deserved it 354

Next

Top comments

xMooMoox 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 21:41

Son you lost my paper go canoe in that lake!!! It means an argument you guys.

F14Shado 0

Friday 27 March 2009 5:05

I think that means beating..

Comments

Savannah_97 0

Monday 26 July 2010 5:57

F ur childs like bitch. My parents did this to me too and it sucks! Like the op's son, I didn't even do anything! it's ridiculous >_>'

mad_hatter0666 22

Sunday 24 October 2010 8:49

a row is a fight or argument.

limepinklis 0

Wednesday 30 March 2011 1:39

op sounds like a dick

iStEvO 0

Saturday 2 April 2011 15:25

dont jump to conclusions without any proof and dont be too hard on your kid you stupid ********

killaninjah 1

Sunday 29 May 2011 6:08

you my friend are an asshole

xoldk 2

Monday 25 July 2011 2:22

go apologise with lots of treats now!

Friaza 29

Thursday 28 July 2011 0:30

My dad always does that too, the worst part is when they have to much misplaced pride and don't apologize, and instead expect instantanious forgiveness.

SadinSherman 16

Tuesday 2 August 2011 3:44

Just say sorry

thebogusman101 0

Friday 9 December 2011 9:50

Important paper, kid, important paper, kid... Even if you did find it. Dont give important papers to your kids. Goofball

KRiddle 15

Thursday 1 March 2012 1:21

Apologize. : )

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The Top

Today, my jobless husband wants to buy the latest iPhone. His current phone is in good condition, except that he has a 1000 apps on it slowing it down. We're also in deeply crushing debt from all his bad financial decisions from his severely loss-making business. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 170

You deserved it 182

Today, I found out that when my best friend and I were kids, our parents would cancel playdates when either of us opted to not go to church. They said it would, "strengthen our faith." We are now both adults and staunch atheists for that reason, and we're spending way more time together to make up for this crap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 547

You deserved it 144

The Top

Today, I have to have lunch alone because I'm on a business trip. I go to McDonald's, grab some food and sit outside. School is out, and Ronald McDonald arrives with a bunch of kids, points at me and says, "Look kids, Mister here has no friends, he has to eat alone!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 598

You deserved it 56

Today, the great deal on my new apartment has turned into a nightmare. I keep hearing extremely weird sounds almost every night, and when I tried taking pics of the place today, my camera's face recognition feature kept activating, but only in my bedroom. I'm scared shitless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 624

You deserved it 4 919

Today, I painfully watched my doctor burn a hole in my nail to drain the blood underneath. This is the prescribed treatment for the injury of hammering your thumb. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 181

You deserved it 3 278

Today, my 14-year-old sister came into the bathroom while I was in it. When she saw me, she said sorry and left. Little did I know, she took my electric toothbrush to masturbate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 838

You deserved it 565

Today, I discovered that when they remove your cancerous prostate, your penis will shrink by the exact length of the removed prostate back up into your body. So not only do I now need pills to get a boner, my boner has shrunk from a respectable 5 inches to just under 3. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 345

You deserved it 162

Today, my wife and I got into an argument. She ran out, yelling. Later, at work, I felt guilty, so I picked up some flowers and a card. When I presented them to her, she looked puzzled. I made the mistake of reminding her about our argument. She is now mad at me, again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 005

You deserved it 306