Health: Today, I gave myself a hernia while farting. FML - FML

By Anonymous - 24/02/2012 08:40 - United States

Today, I gave myself a hernia while farting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 925

You deserved it 7 349

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Same thing different taste

Fighting fit

By AnonThoughts - 24/10/2019 06:00

Today, my body is so messed up that I pulled a muscle in my side while farting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 444

You deserved it 334

Hear this?

By soundslikeadumbcommentersituation - 11/07/2014 20:34 - Canada - Brampton

Today, while in my backyard, I had some insane gastric distress. I let out a fart so powerful that it made me yelp in pain, and left my asshole numb. A second later, I heard a cough come from over my neighbor's fence. I had to quietly limp back into my house in shame. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 848

You deserved it 6 934

By sadface - 04/01/2010 06:43 - Australia

Today, I pulled a hamstring by taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 489

You deserved it 7 422

By Wowsers. - 30/01/2010 08:47 - United Kingdom

Today, I was woken up by my own fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 807

You deserved it 36 006

By fat and alone - 05/06/2014 04:11 - United States - Birmingham

Today, I figured I needed to go on a diet when I discovered I could make farting noises with my neck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 203

You deserved it 18 120

High tension

By Discipl - 28/10/2014 03:00 - Canada - Waterloo

Today, I strained so hard while on the toilet that I gave myself a nosebleed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 111

You deserved it 5 959

Twang

By Anonymous - 29/08/2009 14:15 - United Kingdom

Today, I stretched really hard when I woke up, only to feel something twang. This was followed by a really sharp pain. Thinking I'd given myself a hernia, I got up to check myself in the mirror, and was repulsed by the bulge I saw hanging out of my gut. Then I realised it was just my own flab. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 079

You deserved it 40 522

Dinnertime

By u.p.i.c. - 02/08/2019 22:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, the smell of my own fart made me feel hungry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 168

You deserved it 565

By clitorasaurus - 21/08/2010 06:09 - Canada

Today, I pulled a muscle in my arm while wiping my butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 616

You deserved it 33 003

Don't stop

By Anonymous - 02/07/2009 04:13 - United States

Today, I had a consultation for an upcoming surgery I need done. The doctor (who is very handsome and in his late twenties) asked me to flex my stomach and act like I was trying to use the bathroom. As I was enjoying him touching my stomach, I farted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 000

You deserved it 8 644

Next

Top comments

luke1995fg 10

Friday 24 February 2012 11:55

How did you manage to do that???

neverdrinkSODA 12

Friday 24 February 2012 11:56

don't force it OP. that never ends well. just let it come naturally

Comments

ClydeFroq 4

Friday 24 February 2012 12:13

that's awesome!

perdix 29

Friday 24 February 2012 12:14

Under pressure, pushing down on you, pressing down on me, no man has more! You should have been doing sporadic quick bursts to prevent the pressure build-up, like all the high-class chicks do!

redbluegreen 40

Friday 24 February 2012 13:40

Under pressure. Do do do do do do do.

GP14brBaller 5

Sunday 26 February 2012 21:30

^ my thoughts exactly.

Akharr01 5

Friday 24 February 2012 12:28

Oops

goldfishgod 20

Friday 24 February 2012 12:32

Okay, now I'm going to be really careful when I fart.

Red_Wing_Nut44 14

Friday 24 February 2012 12:34

I'd be more worried about your butthole if you can fart hard enough to give yourself a hernia.

barleyguy 17

Friday 24 February 2012 12:34

That sounds rough ouch

yourmofo 6

Friday 24 February 2012 12:36

I gave myself a hernia while ********.

perdix 29

Friday 24 February 2012 12:57

Lots of hernias are caused by sneezing.

SexyQueen0905 24

Friday 24 February 2012 12:47

Oh my, that sounds way more painful than funny. Yikes!

bobthebuilder33 3

Friday 24 February 2012 12:54

Wouldn't that stink ;)

KaR1sma 6

Friday 24 February 2012 12:56

Wow must have been a pretty big one

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The Top

Today, one of my debate opponents used the "Bill O'Reilly defense" against my arguments. This involved saying "You can't explain that" about easily explainable stuff, and speaking louder and louder to drown out my voice. He ended up getting a better grade than mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 163

You deserved it 3 436

Today, after finally getting up the confidence, I started talking really dirty to my boyfriend on the phone. I was getting really onto it, and he seemed to enjoy it too. Then I stopped for a second to gauge his reaction. He was snoring. FML

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You deserved it 4 683

The Top

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You deserved it 5 125

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I agree, your life sucks 1 567

You deserved it 274

Today, my parents ate at a new Italian restaurant. They said it was the best they'd ever had and brought me some, insisting I try it. It had so much garlic and sugar in it that I couldn't finish. They're upset because one of our cousins owns the restaurant, and they say I'm not being supportive. We're Irish, not Italian. FML

I agree, your life sucks 449

You deserved it 84

Today, after months of planning, my boyfriend told me he's changed his mind and doesn’t want to move with me to where I got a job. Why? He doesn’t want to live that far away from his mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 902

You deserved it 279

Today, my girlfriend said, "People think I don't have talent, but I do. I'm really good with my mouth. Just ask anyone." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 091

You deserved it 6 693

Today, I was standing in line at the grocery store waiting for my husband. After a while, I feel him kissing my neck, so I turn to tell him that it's not appropriate in public. It wasn't my husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 759

You deserved it 4 578