Kids: Today, I got a call from my daughter's school saying that she... - FML

By unknown - 15/09/2011 00:21 - United States

Today, I got a call from my daughter's school saying that she had beat someone up. She's 4. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 179

You deserved it 6 096

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By DocShadow - 03/12/2013 17:33 - United States - New York

Today, my 4-year-old daughter stood up to a bully in the mall. I was the one who was getting bullied. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 662

You deserved it 8 850

The Headmaster Ritual

By angry mama - 21/09/2019 00:01

Today, while picking my daughter up from school, I saw her being beaten by two boys while the teacher stood there doing nothing. I ran to help, but then she pushed one of the boys off her. The teacher then pulled her away, yelled at her and then yelled at me for "not raising my kid right." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 814

You deserved it 135

By crzyry - 23/02/2012 03:49 - Canada

Today, my four-year-old daughter called me by her mom's new boyfriend's name. Three different times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 652

You deserved it 3 132

Fight Club Penguin

By mama bear - 05/06/2020 20:00

Today, I punched an older woman in the face. I only hit her after she grabbed my 4-year-old daughter and told her to, "stop dancing like a whore!" My daughter was so terrified, she peed her pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 023

You deserved it 224

By imnotastranger - 09/05/2014 03:01

Today, I was teaching my 4 year-old daughter about "stranger danger" and how to deal with it. Later that day, we went out and since I didn't buy her a ice cream, she kept screaming "STRANGER DANGER!" A total stranger tackled me until the cops arrived. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 621

You deserved it 6 931

Rough school

By strayking - 24/05/2021 17:01

Today, my daughter admitted that she doesn’t have any friends at her elementary school. When I asked her why, she said it was because whenever she talks to any of the other kids, she gets punched in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 185

You deserved it 83

By Anonymous - 12/12/2009 00:45 - United States

Today, I got a call from my daughter's pre-school. Apparently, she is being suspended, for answering; "What do your parents do at home?" She told them, "My parents fuck." FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 422

You deserved it 40 007

Kids will be kids

By Anonymous - 26/04/2022 18:00 - United States

Today, I learned my son has been picking on a girl he has a crush on. He apparently went too far, because she finally snapped and beat him up at recess. The teacher, who knew about this from the beginning and actively did nothing, is trying to throw me under the bus for being oblivious to my son's behavior. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 007

You deserved it 507

By Anonymous - 30/10/2010 05:07 - New Zealand

Today, my daughter came up to me crying. When I asked her what was wrong, she told me that she had a fight with her imaginary boyfriend. She's 16. I raised this child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 809

You deserved it 12 124

Whack-a-Mole

By Anonymous - 28/09/2019 02:01

Today, I had to pick my daughter up from pre-school because she repeatedly hit another kid with a stick. Apparently, my parents have been letting her watch violent action movies again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 505

You deserved it 293

Next

Top comments

BriBeHyper 2

Thursday 15 September 2011 9:05

What a badass.

RA661 8

Thursday 15 September 2011 9:05

Sign 'er up for boxing!

Comments

enonymous 8

Thursday 15 September 2011 9:09

Mortal Kombat: Playground. Coming in 2012 Her fatality is a boot to the nuts. Her animality is a stuffed Teddy bear

bettyc4 26

Thursday 15 September 2011 12:17

BEST COMMENT EVER!!!!!!!!!!

pixelebrate 0

Thursday 15 September 2011 13:33

12- Sir I believe that is a win.

dezycupcake 0

Friday 16 September 2011 0:37

I meant to thumbs up your comment :O

Chigagigaroo 0

Saturday 17 September 2011 6:29

WORST COMMENT EVER!

lexilope 6

Thursday 15 September 2011 9:12

The other kid must have had it coming. She probably stole your daughters crayons or some crazy shit like that.

bdair 1

Thursday 15 September 2011 9:13

I guess shes gonna wear the pants in the house when she gets married huh ?

mea_iloveskiing 26

Thursday 15 September 2011 9:19

Rocky Balboa jr. :)

JTthePurpleNinja 5

Thursday 15 September 2011 14:09

WILSON !!! :D

Freeze_fml 16

Thursday 15 September 2011 9:20

Parenting success.

markrs 0

Thursday 15 September 2011 9:21

She was probably playing Bop It and got frustrated with it and attacked the nearest kid. I would have.

americiato 2

Thursday 15 September 2011 9:25

hardcore toddler

pondermuse 5

Thursday 15 September 2011 9:27

Cheeky little shit! Although she must have had probable cause. No fyl.

Sabraynay 10

Thursday 15 September 2011 9:32

I'd be someone up if they stole my crayons too. No one touches my crayons. No one.

Sabraynay 10

Thursday 15 September 2011 10:03

*beat, my bad.

Wreckless_fml 6

Thursday 15 September 2011 12:49

You scare me a little :c

WordSmyth 2

Thursday 15 September 2011 13:29

Stole some crayons, like a boss Chewed 'em up, like a boss Threw 'em on the ground, like a boss, Pulled the teachers hair, like a boss Punched a kid in the ear, like a boss I'm 4 years old, such a boss...

mellylicious 8

Thursday 15 September 2011 9:35

Good for her! She stood up for herself! You should be proud!

1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10

Keywords

Love Cheating Money Relatable Work My ex Jealousy Health Accident ADHD Medication Snow Weather Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts

The Top

Today, I woke up from a night of serious depression, drinking by myself at home, to find a USB stick wrapped in plastic up my vagina, with "Top secret" written on it. There was nothing on the stick when I checked. I may need to give tequila a rest and switch back to gin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 474

You deserved it 1 831

Today, my longtime crush, who turned me down because he’s “sick of women”, just got into a relationship. He made it Facebook official, with photos of them and everything. Wanting to even the score, I commented, “So it seems your sickness of women is cured, huh?” He bitched at me for “ruining his moment” and deleted me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 111

You deserved it 1 029

The Top

Today, I have horrible morning sickness. I was helping my daughter fingerpaint, when suddenly the smell of the paint set my stomach off. I threw up all over myself and her painting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 881

You deserved it 4 288

Today, I got a taxi home from work. Only having notes in my wallet, I told the taxi driver that I'd run inside my house and come back out with the change for the journey. He agreed, but only if I left my bag as collateral. It seemed fair. An hour later, I realized my wallet was missing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 358

You deserved it 48 331

Today, while on my driving test, the guy told me to pull over and do a U-turn. A few minutes later, he asked me to do another one. After the test, he said I'd failed because the second U-turn was illegal, and I should have refused to comply. I didn't know they're even allowed do that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 692

You deserved it 5 574

Today, it's been about 8 months since I moved into my studio flat. It was already furnished, there was no bed but a fancy bedseat from Ikea. I slept uncomfortably on it for months until I realised it pulls out to become a double bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 216

You deserved it 12 140

Today, I was yelled at by multiple people at work for not wearing any makeup. The only reason I don’t wear makeup is because my mom is guaranteed to make me cry before I leave the house every morning, so there’s no point. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 187

You deserved it 117

Today, I realised I get really attached to characters in long-running TV shows, because I have no friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 760

You deserved it 165