Love: Today, I got a call from my long distance girlfriend. She's about...

By notthedad - 15/03/2011 15:50 - China

Today, I got a call from my long distance girlfriend. She's about a month pregnant. I haven't seen her in person for six months, but she still insists it's mine. I don't know which would be worse: her lying or her being that stupid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 493

You deserved it 5 646

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By both are dimwitted - 23/12/2014 18:32 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, my ex called, saying she's 3 months pregnant. She seems to have forgotten that we haven't been in the same room, much less friends, in over a year. My dimwitted wife thinks the baby is mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 501

You deserved it 4 657

Fool me once…

By Anonymous - 08/07/2022 12:00 - United States

Today, my ex showed up at my doorstep, claiming to be pregnant with my baby. Of course, I pointed out we broke up ten months ago and hadn't seen each other again until just now, and she is currently six months along. She actually admitted to my face that she figured I'd be too stupid to put the pieces together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 651

You deserved it 139

By 3023-dang - 15/10/2012 20:27 - United States

Today, I found out that my girlfriend is four months pregnant. She can't wait for us to be parents. I guess she forgot that I haven't seen her in 7 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 086

You deserved it 2 594

Great surprise

By Deployed - 07/12/2019 14:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, I came home from an eight month deployment to find my wife four months into her pregnancy. She actually thinks that I believe it's mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 704

You deserved it 190

Kinda sus behavior

By dumped and dusted - 13/07/2016 17:35 - United States

Today, three weeks after my girlfriend told me she was pregnant, she admitted it was a lie. Turned out it was just a test to see if I'd break up with her or not. I didn't, but I did just break the bank buying all the things we'd need for an actual kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 525

You deserved it 1 988

By Wellthissucks - 06/11/2017 15:26

Today, I found out that my long-distance boyfriend just got married because his "real" girlfriend is pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 234

You deserved it 483

Rollercoaster

By Anonymous - 05/03/2010 12:54 - United States

Today, my girlfriend blew up at me for a comment I had made several weeks ago about not wanting kids. Then, she told me that she's pregnant. After consoling her and telling her that whatever we do, we'll do it together, she further explained that she's not sure if it's mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 715

You deserved it 3 659

By sadh3 - 13/10/2017 04:30

Today, my pregnant girlfriend asked me if she should take a pregnancy test to make sure the baby is really hers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 500

You deserved it 752

By Bethany - 20/01/2011 21:37 - United Kingdom

Today, I called my ex boyfriend to tell him that not only am I still in love with him, I'm also three months pregnant with his child. Upon hearing the news, he swore, called me a pathetic liar, swore some more, and hung up on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 441

You deserved it 15 848

Nice try, Sharon

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Bremerton

Today, my ex told me that she's 3 weeks pregnant with my child. Not only was she on her period when I broke up with her last week, her friend let me know that the positive pregnancy test she showed me was a fake that she'd bought online. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 269

You deserved it 5 503

sweet_candy_ 17

Tuesday 15 March 2011 18:59

She probably thinks you will be stupid enough to fall for it.

DocBastard 38

Tuesday 15 March 2011 19:04

Your **** has obviously been whoring around without your knowledge. Take some responsibility for it, stupid. /King Missile

Comments

iRCassxD 0

Tuesday 15 March 2011 19:10

Well clearly she wasn't being stupid. She thought you'd be stupid enough to believe it. Obviously not...

prince122 0

Tuesday 15 March 2011 19:11

why chuck norris?? I don't get what so awesome about him.

shinydragonmist 0

Tuesday 15 March 2011 19:11

either she thinks you are a moron or you dated one >:-)

Gravitex 0

Tuesday 15 March 2011 19:12

chuck norris can produce a massive atomic blast

hellyeahmirjam 2

Tuesday 15 March 2011 19:14

hahahahahahah that IS very stupid indeed

hellyeahmirjam 2

Tuesday 15 March 2011 19:14

hahahahahahah that IS very stupid indeed

kingtz 6

Tuesday 15 March 2011 19:15

That lying *****. dump her!

resinnet 0

Tuesday 15 March 2011 19:20

Stop communicating with her??

Capt_Oblivious 10

Tuesday 15 March 2011 19:21

abstinence - 99.99% effective

Capt_Oblivious 10

Tuesday 15 March 2011 19:59

one would think so but, according to the bible, there is one instance.......... not saying I buy it, just relaying the story, don't shoot the messenger. lol

RedPillSucks 31

Tuesday 15 March 2011 20:21

Sometimes if they're in close proximity, bodily fluids can be swapped.

DaveOnDope 4

Tuesday 15 March 2011 20:29

You're right RPS! BTW - You know what they call women that rely on pulling out or the Rhythm method? Mothers!

TheDrifter 23

Tuesday 15 March 2011 21:09

That's also the basis of a number of my favorite insults RPS.

variable66 0

Tuesday 15 March 2011 23:32

What is the PValue?

Leetswaglordmaybe2 9

Wednesday 16 March 2011 1:30

^ "implied" virgin mary

wintermistress7 1

Tuesday 15 March 2011 19:21

Dang, that hella sucks for you. I'm sorry that you're even with someone as stupid as that. I think now would be the best time to break with her. She obviously is NOT trustworthy, if she's going to pull stunts like that to you, and also she doesn't deserve someone like you. My overall point, don't associate, much less, talk to her ever again.