Love: Today, I got a call from my long distance girlfriend. She's about...

By notthedad - 15/03/2011 15:50 - China

Today, I got a call from my long distance girlfriend. She's about a month pregnant. I haven't seen her in person for six months, but she still insists it's mine. I don't know which would be worse: her lying or her being that stupid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 493

You deserved it 5 646

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Same thing different taste

By both are dimwitted - 23/12/2014 18:32 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, my ex called, saying she's 3 months pregnant. She seems to have forgotten that we haven't been in the same room, much less friends, in over a year. My dimwitted wife thinks the baby is mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 501

You deserved it 4 657

Fool me once…

By Anonymous - 08/07/2022 12:00 - United States

Today, my ex showed up at my doorstep, claiming to be pregnant with my baby. Of course, I pointed out we broke up ten months ago and hadn't seen each other again until just now, and she is currently six months along. She actually admitted to my face that she figured I'd be too stupid to put the pieces together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 651

You deserved it 139

By 3023-dang - 15/10/2012 20:27 - United States

Today, I found out that my girlfriend is four months pregnant. She can't wait for us to be parents. I guess she forgot that I haven't seen her in 7 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 086

You deserved it 2 594

Great surprise

By Deployed - 07/12/2019 14:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, I came home from an eight month deployment to find my wife four months into her pregnancy. She actually thinks that I believe it's mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 704

You deserved it 190

Kinda sus behavior

By dumped and dusted - 13/07/2016 17:35 - United States

Today, three weeks after my girlfriend told me she was pregnant, she admitted it was a lie. Turned out it was just a test to see if I'd break up with her or not. I didn't, but I did just break the bank buying all the things we'd need for an actual kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 525

You deserved it 1 988

By Wellthissucks - 06/11/2017 15:26

Today, I found out that my long-distance boyfriend just got married because his "real" girlfriend is pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 234

You deserved it 483

Rollercoaster

By Anonymous - 05/03/2010 12:54 - United States

Today, my girlfriend blew up at me for a comment I had made several weeks ago about not wanting kids. Then, she told me that she's pregnant. After consoling her and telling her that whatever we do, we'll do it together, she further explained that she's not sure if it's mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 715

You deserved it 3 659

By sadh3 - 13/10/2017 04:30

Today, my pregnant girlfriend asked me if she should take a pregnancy test to make sure the baby is really hers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 500

You deserved it 752

By Bethany - 20/01/2011 21:37 - United Kingdom

Today, I called my ex boyfriend to tell him that not only am I still in love with him, I'm also three months pregnant with his child. Upon hearing the news, he swore, called me a pathetic liar, swore some more, and hung up on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 441

You deserved it 15 848

Nice try, Sharon

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Bremerton

Today, my ex told me that she's 3 weeks pregnant with my child. Not only was she on her period when I broke up with her last week, her friend let me know that the positive pregnancy test she showed me was a fake that she'd bought online. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 269

You deserved it 5 503

sweet_candy_ 17

Tuesday 15 March 2011 18:59

She probably thinks you will be stupid enough to fall for it.

DocBastard 38

Tuesday 15 March 2011 19:04

Your **** has obviously been whoring around without your knowledge. Take some responsibility for it, stupid. /King Missile

Comments

rowannn 0

Tuesday 15 March 2011 19:24

god I love u boners

megs1642 5

Tuesday 15 March 2011 19:26

Wow, you have magical spermies.

MissBunny25 0

Tuesday 15 March 2011 23:33

hahahahahha

CTVrhythmguitari 8

Tuesday 15 March 2011 19:26

haha wow what the ****, that's messed up.

dboy006778 0

Tuesday 15 March 2011 19:27

retard jerk

nutsackmuscle 0

Tuesday 15 March 2011 19:28

why not chuck Norris. he has sex with every woman once a month. the result is a week of bleeding.

cptmorgan15 2

Tuesday 15 March 2011 19:29

There's always a chance she snuck into your house while you were sleeping, had her way with you without waking you up (which would require you to be an extremely heavy sleeper), and really is pregnant with your child. All I'm saying is don't count it out.

mrjude 3

Tuesday 15 March 2011 19:34

Are you sure she's not six months pregnant and just saying she's a month pregnant because she just noticed it in the last month? Sometimes, pregnancy goes undetected for a long time.

bachooka 5

Tuesday 15 March 2011 19:44

I have to agree. especially if it is her first... with my daughter I found out that I was 5months pregnant and then I had her three months later... But I seriously doubt that's the case here...

MyMuse7 0

Tuesday 15 March 2011 19:34

long distance relationships = fail

Jujunut 4

Tuesday 15 March 2011 20:33

Oh really now? I've been in a long distance relationship for over 4 years, and our relationship is not failing.

Iknoweverything 29

Tuesday 15 March 2011 21:04

They only fail if you don't see each other for over six months at a time. I'm in one too, it sucks, but we had formed a healthy relationship long before I moved, and we see each other once a month. OP deserves it if he hasn't seen her for over six months. I think at that point, you might as well have an open relationship. P.S. OP, I think she thinks YOU'RE the stupid one. But obviously if you think she's stupid anyways, plus you never see each other, the relationship wasn't working anyways.

fthku 13

Tuesday 15 March 2011 21:19

Who are you to say he deserves it for not seeing her for 6 months, deciding for other people when their relationship should just be given up on, nevermind give leave for cheating? His girlfriend is also capable of going to visit OP if he can't, not just the other way around. What makes you say OP is stupid? This situation is very complicated, and we know very little, so we can't really call anything. It seems likely she cheated on him, but we can't really know that for sure either. Never see each other? again, we have no real knowledge about OP's life, and no right to tell them how often they need to see each other for their relationship to work. Some people will wait months, some will wait years.