Love: Today, I got a call from my long distance girlfriend. She's about...

By notthedad - 15/03/2011 15:50 - China

Today, I got a call from my long distance girlfriend. She's about a month pregnant. I haven't seen her in person for six months, but she still insists it's mine. I don't know which would be worse: her lying or her being that stupid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 493

You deserved it 5 646

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Same thing different taste

By both are dimwitted - 23/12/2014 18:32 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, my ex called, saying she's 3 months pregnant. She seems to have forgotten that we haven't been in the same room, much less friends, in over a year. My dimwitted wife thinks the baby is mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 501

You deserved it 4 657

Fool me once…

By Anonymous - 08/07/2022 12:00 - United States

Today, my ex showed up at my doorstep, claiming to be pregnant with my baby. Of course, I pointed out we broke up ten months ago and hadn't seen each other again until just now, and she is currently six months along. She actually admitted to my face that she figured I'd be too stupid to put the pieces together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 651

You deserved it 139

By 3023-dang - 15/10/2012 20:27 - United States

Today, I found out that my girlfriend is four months pregnant. She can't wait for us to be parents. I guess she forgot that I haven't seen her in 7 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 086

You deserved it 2 594

Great surprise

By Deployed - 07/12/2019 14:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, I came home from an eight month deployment to find my wife four months into her pregnancy. She actually thinks that I believe it's mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 704

You deserved it 190

Kinda sus behavior

By dumped and dusted - 13/07/2016 17:35 - United States

Today, three weeks after my girlfriend told me she was pregnant, she admitted it was a lie. Turned out it was just a test to see if I'd break up with her or not. I didn't, but I did just break the bank buying all the things we'd need for an actual kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 525

You deserved it 1 988

By Wellthissucks - 06/11/2017 15:26

Today, I found out that my long-distance boyfriend just got married because his "real" girlfriend is pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 234

You deserved it 483

Rollercoaster

By Anonymous - 05/03/2010 12:54 - United States

Today, my girlfriend blew up at me for a comment I had made several weeks ago about not wanting kids. Then, she told me that she's pregnant. After consoling her and telling her that whatever we do, we'll do it together, she further explained that she's not sure if it's mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 715

You deserved it 3 659

By sadh3 - 13/10/2017 04:30

Today, my pregnant girlfriend asked me if she should take a pregnancy test to make sure the baby is really hers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 500

You deserved it 752

By Bethany - 20/01/2011 21:37 - United Kingdom

Today, I called my ex boyfriend to tell him that not only am I still in love with him, I'm also three months pregnant with his child. Upon hearing the news, he swore, called me a pathetic liar, swore some more, and hung up on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 441

You deserved it 15 848

Nice try, Sharon

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Bremerton

Today, my ex told me that she's 3 weeks pregnant with my child. Not only was she on her period when I broke up with her last week, her friend let me know that the positive pregnancy test she showed me was a fake that she'd bought online. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 269

You deserved it 5 503

sweet_candy_ 17

Tuesday 15 March 2011 18:59

She probably thinks you will be stupid enough to fall for it.

DocBastard 38

Tuesday 15 March 2011 19:04

Your **** has obviously been whoring around without your knowledge. Take some responsibility for it, stupid. /King Missile

Comments

saywhatme 0

Tuesday 15 March 2011 19:45

Phone sex?

Happygofucky 0

Tuesday 15 March 2011 19:46

**** the child's life for having a mother so incredibly retarded.

laden_swallow09 34

Tuesday 15 March 2011 20:35

I was just thinking that. Ya beat me to it! Goes to show that LDRs rarely work. Either way, FYL, OP

sportyfreaK15 0

Tuesday 15 March 2011 19:48

dumb a$$

hcovballer247 0

Tuesday 15 March 2011 19:49

ha ha hahahahahaha. ur life sucks

Stixx55 2

Tuesday 15 March 2011 19:53

what's worst is that you're still referring to her as your long distance girlfriend.

SilenceIsSilver 0

Tuesday 15 March 2011 20:03

JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!

SilenceIsSilver 0

Tuesday 15 March 2011 20:07

Thanks Nutsack, now I'm gonna think about that every time I have my period:I

EVELYNandDIEGO 0

Tuesday 15 March 2011 20:07

honestly sperm live for a long time of period and could be sitting there so must likely if she is being faithful towards you then the baby could be yours. have you ever taken Health class!!!!!

Stixx55 2

Tuesday 15 March 2011 20:11

I hope your kidding. lol. dude said he ain't c her in 6 mths.

yourmurderscenex 13

Tuesday 15 March 2011 20:14

"he ain't c her" really??!

Lisa89 3

Tuesday 15 March 2011 20:21

Fail. on so many levels. Sperm can last days in the uterus, not months.

daybowbow 0

Tuesday 15 March 2011 21:34

The sad part is that Stixx STILL makes more sense than Evelyn.

mogo9278 0

Wednesday 16 March 2011 4:35

I work at an ob clinic and just FYI sperm can only live inside a woman for a maximum of five days. so no it's still absolutely impossible that the baby is his.