Love: Today, I got a call from my long distance girlfriend. She's about...

By notthedad - 15/03/2011 15:50 - China

Today, I got a call from my long distance girlfriend. She's about a month pregnant. I haven't seen her in person for six months, but she still insists it's mine. I don't know which would be worse: her lying or her being that stupid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 493

You deserved it 5 646

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By both are dimwitted - 23/12/2014 18:32 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, my ex called, saying she's 3 months pregnant. She seems to have forgotten that we haven't been in the same room, much less friends, in over a year. My dimwitted wife thinks the baby is mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 501

You deserved it 4 657

Fool me once…

By Anonymous - 08/07/2022 12:00 - United States

Today, my ex showed up at my doorstep, claiming to be pregnant with my baby. Of course, I pointed out we broke up ten months ago and hadn't seen each other again until just now, and she is currently six months along. She actually admitted to my face that she figured I'd be too stupid to put the pieces together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 651

You deserved it 139

By 3023-dang - 15/10/2012 20:27 - United States

Today, I found out that my girlfriend is four months pregnant. She can't wait for us to be parents. I guess she forgot that I haven't seen her in 7 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 086

You deserved it 2 594

Great surprise

By Deployed - 07/12/2019 14:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, I came home from an eight month deployment to find my wife four months into her pregnancy. She actually thinks that I believe it's mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 704

You deserved it 190

Kinda sus behavior

By dumped and dusted - 13/07/2016 17:35 - United States

Today, three weeks after my girlfriend told me she was pregnant, she admitted it was a lie. Turned out it was just a test to see if I'd break up with her or not. I didn't, but I did just break the bank buying all the things we'd need for an actual kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 525

You deserved it 1 988

By Wellthissucks - 06/11/2017 15:26

Today, I found out that my long-distance boyfriend just got married because his "real" girlfriend is pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 234

You deserved it 483

Rollercoaster

By Anonymous - 05/03/2010 12:54 - United States

Today, my girlfriend blew up at me for a comment I had made several weeks ago about not wanting kids. Then, she told me that she's pregnant. After consoling her and telling her that whatever we do, we'll do it together, she further explained that she's not sure if it's mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 715

You deserved it 3 659

By sadh3 - 13/10/2017 04:30

Today, my pregnant girlfriend asked me if she should take a pregnancy test to make sure the baby is really hers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 500

You deserved it 752

By Bethany - 20/01/2011 21:37 - United Kingdom

Today, I called my ex boyfriend to tell him that not only am I still in love with him, I'm also three months pregnant with his child. Upon hearing the news, he swore, called me a pathetic liar, swore some more, and hung up on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 441

You deserved it 15 848

Nice try, Sharon

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Bremerton

Today, my ex told me that she's 3 weeks pregnant with my child. Not only was she on her period when I broke up with her last week, her friend let me know that the positive pregnancy test she showed me was a fake that she'd bought online. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 269

You deserved it 5 503

sweet_candy_ 17

Tuesday 15 March 2011 18:59

She probably thinks you will be stupid enough to fall for it.

DocBastard 38

Tuesday 15 March 2011 19:04

Your **** has obviously been whoring around without your knowledge. Take some responsibility for it, stupid. /King Missile

Comments

pixiecjbh 0

Tuesday 15 March 2011 20:35

because a woman does not ovulate until the 14th day of her cycle (roughly) she is probably a month and a Half preggers but doesn't understand that the first 2 weeks of the cycle count too... probably is yours... has she ever given u a reason not to trust her b4? also women can get their period all the way through the first trimester so she could be even further along than she thinks... go see her and go to the doc together, give her the benefit of the doubt for now and just see what the doc says

HelenMariee 0

Tuesday 15 March 2011 20:57

well some women don't grow so big && don't have all the symptoms it's rare but possible my cousin got prego and she didn't even look it through her whole pregnancy ever pregnancy is different in one way or another

domolovesyoshi 33

Monday 18 August 2014 5:40

he hasn't seen her in 6 months, she'd have to be 6 months or later pregnant for it to be his kid.

Mercedeh910 0

Tuesday 15 March 2011 20:50

she's not stupid. she just knows how dumb and gullible you are

gkflower 0

Wednesday 16 March 2011 2:19

obviously he isn't dumb or gullible and she is stupid. get your facts straight

Stupidpeopleanno 5

Tuesday 15 March 2011 20:53

Discipline her.

shutupK 0

Thursday 17 March 2011 11:08

she isn't a dog... and how could he? keywords: long-distance relationship. ...sexist idiots these days... -.-

Jaded21 0

Tuesday 15 March 2011 20:59

Have her go to the obgyn b4 anything they will be able to tell u how far along, but I would get ready to say goodbye just in case

darkmis1 17

Tuesday 15 March 2011 21:10

Thank you captain obvious!

SilenceIsSilver 0

Tuesday 15 March 2011 21:11

Yes, THANK YOU Chuck Norris. For raping my mother and sister after having your way with me. :P

darkmis1 17

Tuesday 15 March 2011 21:16

58 and 72 both fail. @72: I knew the OPs girlfriend was a dumb cheating (and now pregnant) *****. You don't haveto read the name to know that. @58: You were trying to make an insult and said "maybe your the stupid girlfriend's sister". It should have read you're. Your = ownership. You're = you are.

ktrose 0

Tuesday 15 March 2011 21:35

I read it as the girlfriend was making up the whole story lol. Once I read through it again, I saw it different and read the name. The rest is explanatory.