By notthedad - 15/03/2011 15:50 - China

Today, I got a call from my long distance girlfriend. She's about a month pregnant. I haven't seen her in person for six months, but she still insists it's mine. I don't know which would be worse: her lying or her being that stupid. FML
I agree, your life sucks 60 493
You deserved it 5 646
Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…
Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Next

Top comments

sweet_candy_ 17

She probably thinks you will be stupid enough to fall for it.

132 3
DocBastard 38

Your **** has obviously been whoring around without your knowledge. Take some responsibility for it, stupid. /King Missile

97 2

Comments

GoodLookingGeese 10

great... this FML made my day

0 0
docscientist 9

Than you Admiral Asshole! Not really, I just wanted to use that.

6 0
prince122 0

that's why u guys like chuck Norris... I thought it was because of his fighting.

1 0
polysyllabist 3

No no!! You have it all wrong!! I find it far more likely that she stole his sperm in his sleep, froze it away for a rainy day then inseminated herself after six depressing months of missing her man.

10 0
underpaid011 0

you deserve a beer notthedad! dodged the bullet there.

0 0
TheNewGuy03 28

...the only conclusion i can come to is that you have the longest penis in the universe. i am envious. you should consider naming it. any suggestions? |the kid|

2 0
nutsackmuscle 0

no it's because every piece of furniture in chuck norris's house is total gym.

1 0
chosha_fml 26

OP: Thank your lucky stars this dipshit is NOT the mother of your child.

1 0
Autoshot 9

Every night before going to sleep, the Boogeyman checks his closet and under his bed for Chuck Norris.

2 0