By karmaplz - 23/02/2011 14:26 - United States
I agree, your life sucks
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karmaplz tells us more.
I feel the need to clear up some of this discussion! First of all--thanks to all these anon. people for defending me. I honestly submitted this immediately after getting the phone call @ 8:30 am, never thinking it'd be posted. Secondly-- is he a bad guy? No. I'm sure if being a cop is what he wants to do, and has his heart in it, he'll do great at his job. As far as the disrespect: it got to a point where I wasn't valued as a person, and some very vulgar, vile, rude and hurtful things were said/done to me, that wouldn't have been done if I was respected for who I am. If I was seen as a human with a heart and feelings, these things wouldn't have been done. Can I say that this will never happen to another female? No. Do I think he's pure evil? No. Saying bad things would have been purely vengeful and ruined a potential career. Also, I wasn't listed a reference, they required names and phone numbers of "significant relationships"--- I was asked if there was ever an assault between us, and about his moral character. That's it. I've had a seriously great laugh over realizing this was actually posted, and loved reading all the comments. Thanks!
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Technically, you didn't HAVE to say anything nice at all. YDI for not telling the truth about this disrespectful asshat.
U could've either told the truth or declined to answer ydi
You did what?! Sigh...
You are an amazing person for looking past your relationship for that phone call . I read your response and I would've done the same thing .. Karma will be good to you
molleyla
7
Good for you for having a good head on your shoulder and being the bigger person. That shows what great characters you have and how much he missed out on a good person. Hope that you have found someone that deserves you for who you are.
I'm really torn on this one. On one hand I really have to commend OP. She did not talk trash about her ex, as many people even here have said they would have, and it shows she is obviously the more mature person. At the same time, I feel like she did not tell them the whole truth. While he may be a "good" candidate, he still has no respect for women which is something she could have told them. What if he gets a female partner? What if he has to deal with a female victim or interview a female witness? OP did not "have" to say great, nice things about him, she could have honestly talked about both his strengths and his weaknesses. I feel like this is both a FML and a YDI.
Good to know we're gonna have another disrespectful police officer who will probably become power hungry
quarterbird
18
No matter how you try to justify it, you were dishonest. At a time when police misconduct is mentioned in the news almost weekly, we absolutely do not need people being deceptive during the vetting process of potential officers. This has nothing to do with karma or revenge. You've done a disservice to whatever community he's assigned. From your description of his treatment of you, he sounds like a bully. Why would you help that kind of person get a badge and gun. If he treated his gf that way, how do you think he'll treat someone to whom he bears no emotional connection?
quarterbird
18
**Question mark after "gun" in lieu of period.**
I admire your maturity, op! I know that must have been really hard to do. You're strong for that! (:
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Why didn't you just tell them bad things?
As someone who knows a fair amount about the hiring process, you should have told them he was disrespectful. It is NOT grounds for disqualification, but it would give them a realistic idea about who he was. They would talk to him about it, but that doesn't mean they would DQ him. You should have been honest.