Work: Today, I got a promotion. I was really excited until I realized... - FML

By ktwithaq - 18/10/2010 11:27 - United States

Today, I got a promotion. I was really excited until I realized that the only friend I had to celebrate with was my pet cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 792

You deserved it 5 371

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Same thing different taste

By Username - 29/07/2011 19:17 - United States

Today, I realized that since I started working full time, the only friend I have left is my cat. Lonely and bored out of my mind, I told him about my day. He decided to end the conversation by shitting on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 957

You deserved it 6 324

Sick move, bro

By jlw1998 - 25/04/2016 04:36 - United States - Dallas

Today, I bought my girlfriend a cat. I now have a cat and no girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 494

You deserved it 4 510

Typical bad day

By Fred - 08/11/2023 16:00

Today, I woke up to find my cat had knocked over a glass of water, which short-circuited my alarm clock, so I overslept, missed a crucial meeting, and found out I'd been promoted... to a position which no longer exists. FML

I agree, your life sucks 526

You deserved it 148

Cat? Priceless

By Anonymous - 17/02/2022 00:01

Today, I was so lethargic talking to my co-worker about her raise that I accidently told her to celebrate with a family vacation. I totally forgot that she just started divorce proceedings and that her mom is dying. Meanwhile, I'm stuck making $42,000 a year, and have a cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 367

You deserved it 809

Dilbert principle

By Anonymous - 16/12/2021 14:59 - Australia - Perth

Today, the only colleague I dislike was promoted to be my manager. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 017

You deserved it 96

Good boy, best boy

By Anonymous - 20/07/2020 14:01

Today, I realised that I have a better relationship with my cat than I do with my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 206

You deserved it 412

Happy New Year to all the cats out there

By HappyNewYearsToMeAndMyCat - 01/01/2015 05:25 - Canada - Victoria

Today, I'm celebrating New Year's with my cat. I made her a cake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 274

You deserved it 6 890

By Anonymous - 29/06/2014 00:09 - United States - Green Bay

Today, I came home and saw my cat all snuggled up with another cat on the sofa. I thought it was the cutest thing ever, until I remembered that I only have one cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 520

You deserved it 5 236

By jenA - 12/07/2012 02:40 - United States

Today, I got a sweet promotion at my job. Instead of being happy and celebrating with me, my boyfriend broke up with me because he is jealous that I'm more successful than he is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 462

You deserved it 2 679

Unloveable

By sal - 27/09/2020 05:02 - Canada

Today, I adopted a cat, thinking it would make my life a little less lonely. Within an hour, the cat ran away. Not even animals want to be around me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 080

You deserved it 293

Next

Top comments

FFML_314 11

Monday 18 October 2010 15:50

This is a cat-astrophe! I say, quit being a pussy and go make some friends.

Moe954 0

Monday 18 October 2010 16:24

Being kinda Socially Retarded myself, I feel ya. But there'll be friends soon enough for you tho, so don't worry about it too much. Congratz on the promo :D

Comments

blahzz 4

Monday 18 October 2010 20:04

I'll celebrate with you!

xxxjj18 2

Monday 18 October 2010 20:20

lol you're on your way to being the lonely old lady that lives with a ton of cats

annanonomus 0

Monday 18 October 2010 20:25

Show some gratitude, at least you got a promotion! So what if you have no friends? At least you know you got that promotion because of your hard work! (And not your social status at work) I'm going to say YDI for complaining on getting promoted instead of just being grateful!

shoelaces301 0

Monday 18 October 2010 21:02

this is probably one of the funniest fmls ive read this month

bluekiwi_fml 0

Monday 18 October 2010 22:06

cats rule. ydi go make some friends. ps vamp ur sooooooo mature...:p

bluekiwi_fml 0

Monday 18 October 2010 22:06

cats rule. ydi go make some friends. ps vamp ur sooooooo mature...:p

xlGinIchimarulx 0

Tuesday 19 October 2010 5:44

did anyone use the cup afterwards?? lol

hosscat74 0

Tuesday 19 October 2010 6:48

wrong fml lol

hosscat74 0

Tuesday 19 October 2010 7:28

wrong fml lol

EvilDave 13

Tuesday 19 October 2010 15:37

Maybe it is you. Maybe you are like most of the people I have met in Florida: stuck up, selfish, mean, and rude. I so want to leave this crappy state. It has all the glamor of Toledo, OH and all the depth of Hollywood.

bassplayer27 0

Wednesday 20 October 2010 6:25

cats suck hairy fat lonely ass... no offence op

tualoina 0

Thursday 21 October 2010 5:43

congrats!!!!!! : )

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Keywords

Poopoo peepee Embarrassing Love Miscellaneous Christmas Romantic Break-ups Annoying Money Gross Ironic Argument Awkward Friends Cute Haircut Lonely Holidays Relatable Work Bosses Capitalism Cars You're fired Health Covid Jealousy Cheating Kids Parenting

The Top

Today, after nearly a week of having laryngitis, I was finally able to talk a little again. Then I yelled at my son for leaving his shit all over the living room, strained my throat, and can barely even whisper now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 125

You deserved it 755

Today, I hit off with a guy I met on Tumblr, and we moved to Discord to chat. We're just friends, but have things in common. Then I accidentally called him while he was driving by clicking the wrong button, because I forgot how to search things up. Now he thinks I'm a creep. Time to build my walls back up again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 287

You deserved it 158

The Top

Today, I was in the car with a group of my girl friends discussing sexual experiences when I looked down and realized my Blackberry had dialed the family I babysit for and had left a five minute voicemail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 218

You deserved it 17 688

Today, while playing a game of Cards Against Humanity, I had to explain to 3 grown men that there is NOT an actual bone in their dicks. It's mostly vascular tissue that swells and becomes rigid, and a broken dick is when they pop one of the two main vascular tubes, which can cause many severe problems. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 171

You deserved it 113

Today, I was taking my architecture project to school. I'd spent days preparing my little model house. I stepped outside with it in my hand, and right at that moment a gust of wind ripped it away. It's currently lying in my neighbour's garden, smashed to pieces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 575

You deserved it 4 117

Today, I finally worked up the nerve to talk to the girl I like. After awkwardly saying hi, I manage to work up a nice conversation with her. I thought everything was going well, until I got home and realized that she had stolen money out of my wallet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 893

You deserved it 4 681

Today, I woke up with really sore abs; not from working out at the gym, but because I've been coughing for 3 days straight and nothing is helping. Now every time I cough, it physically hurts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 537

You deserved it 134

Today, I was busy working on a paper, so my parents offered to go get me some Mexican food. Eager for some nachos, I thanked them. At 9 p.m. they weren't back, so I called. They weren't in an accident, but spontaneously buying a new car without telling me. They didn't return until 11 p.m. with cold, greasy KFC. FML

I agree, your life sucks 466

You deserved it 118