Intimacy: Today, I got all four of my wisdom teeth removed. I went to see...

By fatcheeks - 02/03/2010 16:58 - United States

Today, I got all four of my wisdom teeth removed. I went to see my boyfriend for comfort because I was in so much pain. The first thing he asked me when I saw him with huge cheeks? When would be the next time I could give him a blowjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 476

You deserved it 4 185

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Same thing different taste

Cheeky

By smiler - 17/03/2010 16:59 - United Kingdom

Today, I had my wisdom teeth removed. The sympathetic words from my boyfriend asked if this meant I could open my mouth a bit wider for him now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 602

You deserved it 5 683

By dating a fking cnt - 10/11/2012 00:16 - Canada

Today, I got my wisdom teeth removed. My girlfriend had agreed to come over after and make sure I was okay, so I called her, saying I was done. She told me she'd made new plans, and to "just suck on a tampon, you pussy". FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 756

You deserved it 3 314

By canucks_chick - 23/10/2011 05:45 - Canada

Today, I dislocated my jaw while giving my boyfriend a blowjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 658

You deserved it 21 052

By Anonymous - 12/05/2009 20:56 - United States

Today, I had all four of my wisdom teeth extracted. Under anesthesia I told the dentist my entire love life and drug history in detail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 841

You deserved it 15 018

By Numb - 11/04/2011 19:27 - United States

Today, I got my wisdom teeth pulled. My usually detached and unromantic boyfriend rushed right over after work with flowers and movies. A little while later, he admitted excitedly that he'd heard the numbing medication also works on gag reflexes and wanted to test the theory. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 508

You deserved it 7 049

I'm so sorry

By Anonymous - 21/02/2015 14:20 - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Today, my girlfriend got her wisdom teeth removed. I really want to help her out while she recovers, but her swollen cheeks combined with her natural buck teeth keep making me crack up every time I see her. I can't help it and I'm now in the doghouse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 119

You deserved it 32 232

By NOIDIDNOT - 19/11/2012 06:21 - United States - Scottsdale

Today, I had my wisdom teeth taken out. I vaguely remember telling the doctor that I'm a virgin. Several times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 946

You deserved it 2 970

By pain in my gums - 27/02/2017 11:30 - Canada - St. John's

Today, I went to the dentist to get my wisdom teeth removed. The surgeon took a better X-ray to see what he was dealing with before he got started. When he came back into the room, he started to laugh and told me it was my lucky day because in the X-rays he found 2 big extra wisdom teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 964

You deserved it 387

The whole tooth and nothing but the tooth

By Anonymous - 01/04/2024 13:00 - United States

Today, I had my wisdom teeth pulled. The local anesthesia worked on three of the four teeth. I found out about the last tooth when the dentist was mid-yank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 460

You deserved it 51

By fatface - 13/04/2009 04:05 - United States

Today, my boyfriend asked me when my face was going to go back to normal after being swollen from having my wisdom teeth taken out last week. My face is back to normal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 222

You deserved it 3 783

Star18lk 0

Tuesday 2 March 2010 20:07

What a jerk!!! He might only want you for sex, Look for clues! Hope you feel better!

xundria 5

Tuesday 2 March 2010 20:08

Hmm... yeah, leave him.

Comments

Igor_g5 0

Wednesday 3 March 2010 1:28

@128. Well said.

Pearljammer001 0

Wednesday 3 March 2010 5:06

sexist comments from this point on: caution, reader beware!

bobbyb57 0

Wednesday 3 March 2010 6:38

lol so true

Giorgio272 2

Wednesday 3 March 2010 1:33

This man has his priorities straight. kudos to getting a real man.

tjigga 0

Wednesday 3 March 2010 1:33

@1 I want you for sex

pamalahh69 0

Wednesday 3 March 2010 1:44

two weeks. he's a dude you can't really blame him. plus what more do you expect

mempholicious 0

Wednesday 3 March 2010 1:44

sounds just like a dude. they don't care about anyone except themselves - those bastards!

thefamemonsterr 0

Wednesday 3 March 2010 2:12

you said you didn't want comfort. dumbass

thefamemonsterr 0

Wednesday 3 March 2010 2:15

lol oops I read that wrong. sorry!

SelfGenocide 0

Wednesday 3 March 2010 2:18

who needs /b/ when I can troll these whiney bitches?

ochowiki 0

Wednesday 3 March 2010 2:28

So when can you blow him? Or me?

cannonchic 0

Wednesday 3 March 2010 2:39

Typical!! Damn men!

SubjectX 0

Wednesday 3 March 2010 2:47

he has his priorities straight. your dental surgeon kinda sucks if you're more than just a little sore. seriously, it's a really minor surgery.

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The Top

Today, I finally got an interview for the job I want. The interviewer looked at my resumé and asked, "So, what have you been doing for the past 10 years?" I guess binge-watching Netflix wasn't the right answer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 201

You deserved it 1 118

Today, I tried reaching out to a brand on Instagram, telling them I'm a rising influencer and would love a free sample of some of their products to review. They replied back with a laughing emoji and "You have 44 followers. Eat shit." Then they posted it on their story, with my name listed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82

You deserved it 1 340

The Top

Today, I learned that my dog died of sepsis. Fuck you, sepsis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 046

You deserved it 101

Today, my thirteen month old son woke me up at 6AM on my day off, by punching me in the eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 790

You deserved it 6 132

Today, I got rejected from Sephora, Walgreens, and Ulta for being OVER-qualified with a post-graduate diploma in cosmetic chemistry. Then, I got rejected from Estée Lauder, LVMH, and Proctor and Gamble for being UNDER-qualified with a post-graduate diploma in cosmetic chemistry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 383

You deserved it 387

Today, my class had a group project. The teacher allowed people to opt to do it alone. I, an introvert with crippling social anxiety, was the only one to do it alone. I still finished before everyone else, with an A. The other students called me a "freak" and many other names, simply because I work better alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 455

You deserved it 130

Today, after we finished making my 6 year-old daughter a net to catch an injured baby bird, when she went out to catch it she witnessed a stray cat catch and eat it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 663

You deserved it 159

Today, my wife suddenly texted me to meet her halfway beetween our house and the supermarket. I immediately put my shoes on and started walking eager to get to her as fast as I could to surprise her. Turns out she was carrying three heavy bags and yelled at me for being slow and by foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 433

You deserved it 1 426

Same thing different taste

Cheeky

I'm so sorry

The whole tooth and nothing but the tooth

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