Health: Today, I got food poisoning and have had the worst diarrhea ever....

By itsEVERYWHERE - 08/03/2010 05:34 - United States

Today, I got food poisoning and have had the worst diarrhea ever. I laid down in bed, hoping to get some rest when my dad thought it'd be a good idea to sneak into my room and scare the shit out of me. Literally. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 146

You deserved it 2 650

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Zero stars on Trip Advisor

By Anonymous - 01/03/2024 02:00 - United States

Today, I have an awful stomach virus. I can only drink liquids and can't eat anything solid, especially anything spicy. My dad forced me to eat the fajitas he'd made for dinner and screamed at me when I told him I couldn't, then screamed at me again for "wasting food" when I predictably threw up all over the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 643

You deserved it 86

Just a prank, son!

By barface - 11/01/2012 02:52 - United States

Today, while very sick, throwing up in a bucket beside my bed, my dad came in pushed my face into the bucket. For a laugh, apparently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 852

You deserved it 2 812

By poopEVERYWHERE - 18/09/2009 14:27 - United States

Today, I heard my dad screaming in the hallway. Thinking he was having a heart attack I ran to the hall without looking where I was going. I slipped and slid towards my dad in what turned out to be a mass quantity of diarrhea from one of my two dogs. He was screaming because he stepped in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 965

You deserved it 4 342

By Anonymouse - 07/11/2015 02:03

Today, I was in bed with the stomach flu. My boyfriend thought it would be funny to fart in the fan next to our bed, which caused me to vomit all over myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 918

You deserved it 2 172

By mikey51 - 10/03/2012 01:56 - Australia

Today, I was taking a dump, when my dad shouted for me to go wash the dishes. Fed up with his constant shit, I told him to bite me. He took this as an invitation to wedge the bathroom door shut for nearly two hours, despite all my pleas and apologies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 632

You deserved it 41 587

You're in the army now, oh ohoh

By Anonymous - 01/07/2020 17:03

Today, my dad set the smoke alarm off at 6 a.m. as a "practice drill." I was woken up so suddenly, I fell out of bed into the bucket of sick I had been throwing up into the night before due to flu. Dad yelled at me for not getting out of the house in time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 670

You deserved it 163

Hot lava from both ends

By SickBoi - 30/03/2021 14:01 - United States - Cambridge

Today, I was suffering from food poisoning and had constant diarrhea, along with feeling nauseous. I couldn't hold my vomit in and rushed to the toilet, but due to the pressure, I pooped while still in pajamas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 975

You deserved it 96

Surprise!

By Noname - 27/02/2009 04:02 - United States

Today, I was sleeping because I had been sick. The closest bathroom to mine is the one in my parents room. I wake up and feel like I have to throw up, I run into my parents room to go to the bathroom. I walk in on my parents having sex. Shocked, I gasp for air then throw up all over their bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 122 471

You deserved it 13 416

By ohmygoodness - 02/03/2009 21:51 - United States

Today, I woke up at my boyfriend's place with grumbling stomach pains. I left him in bed to go have explosive diarreah in the bathroom next to his room. When I was done, I came back to bed and snuggled in next to his sleeping form and he rolled over to whisper, "I heard everthing." FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 721

You deserved it 17 288

A mother's love…

By Anonymous - 08/10/2020 14:01 - United States - Allentown

Today, I crawled into my mom's room to tell her my stomach was in massive pain. She ended up throwing me out of the room while spraying me with Lysol. My appendix was about to burst and I needed surgery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 823

You deserved it 109

iHyuMeng 0

Monday 8 March 2010 12:13

He tried to scare the bad stuff out of you all at once , but then again FYL.

hyefedyee 0

Monday 8 March 2010 12:13

If I were u I'd start thinking about how to get him back maybe u can literally scare the shit out of him :p

Comments

Emofluffinzhehe 0

Tuesday 9 March 2010 5:02

but she has brown hair lol ginger fail

fisheatsbear 6

Tuesday 9 March 2010 5:58

@57 being in the top ten is a legit accomplishment

jlj945 0

Tuesday 9 March 2010 6:50

thats the funniest shit ive heard all day

shiftfaced 0

Tuesday 9 March 2010 7:11

you have a horrible grandpa. :)

savvy08 0

Wednesday 10 March 2010 6:28

wow this made me laugh! haha

Kophright 3

Thursday 11 March 2010 6:21

That almost made me fall out of my seat laughing. XD Did your dad find out? Your mom must have though assuming that she washes the sheets....

dakidd28 3

Friday 12 March 2010 3:51

LMFAO that's some funny shit (no pun intended) LOL!!!!!!!

iluvjk13 0

Friday 12 March 2010 9:15

haha, that is funny. if you'd already been having diarrhea then what's just another sheets' change? be glad you have a dad that's humorous enough to do something like that. i wouldve laughed, and been glad he'd cheered me up. But that's just me. :)