Miscellaneous: Today, I got into a fight with the dryer over a plastic toy car....

By Loser - 17/03/2010 04:41 - Canada

Today, I got into a fight with the dryer over a plastic toy car. My hand is bleeding and numb, three of my nails are broken and I have a bruise on my chin. The plastic car is still stuck in the now broken dryer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 752

You deserved it 26 009

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
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Same thing different taste

My home hates me

By Anonymous - 24/07/2015 02:13 - United States - San Francisco

Today, over the course of three hours, I was burned by our toaster oven, hit in the head by a fridge door, hit my toes on a chair, clipped my hip on a table edge, and had both the washer and dryer lids slam on the same hand. I'm not sure what hurts more, my body or the shame. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 251

You deserved it 4 329

By Anonymous - 31/12/2015 21:26 - New Zealand

Today, I found out how it feels to have a car door slammed shut on my hand, breaking two of my fingers. Hint: it's fucking painful. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 173

You deserved it 2 040

Good samaritan

By Anonymous - 09/10/2010 23:32 - Antigua and Barbuda

Today, I passed a car, and heard a baby crying in the back seat. It was hot and no one was around. All the doors were locked so I broke it with a rock, cutting my arm and setting the alarm off. Only to find out that it was a realistic baby doll. I have to get 7 stitches and pay for the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 301

You deserved it 9 441

By Z - 03/07/2010 19:26 - United States

Today, after a large, dramatic fight with my girlfriend in a parking lot, we stopped arguing altogether and hugged, dropping the issue. Twenty seconds later, I accidentally slammed her hand in the car door, breaking two of her fingers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 833

You deserved it 14 275

By yardswoman - 29/06/2016 23:01

Today, I was mowing my yard when I hit a small rock, which hit my shed. I got done mowing and realized that it wasn't a small rock, it was my son's toy plyers and it wasn't my shed, it was my car window, which had shattered on impact. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 131

You deserved it 1 722

One-handed typing

By Justin Parker - 17/06/2021 04:00

Today, I was changing a flat tire on my car when it fell off the jack and crushed my hand. After ripping my hand free and waiting 2 hours for AAA, I get to go find out if my hand is broken. FML

I agree, your life sucks 884

You deserved it 125

By ouch - 26/06/2010 14:23 - Canada

Today, my friend hit a glass with her arm, so I dove to try and catch it before it hit the ground and shattered. I hit my head against the table, giving me a nice gash that needed stitches. The glass was actually plastic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 720

You deserved it 8 987

Cash grab

By Megan - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Fayetteville

Today, I was doing my laundry when I saw a dollar bill at the bottom of the washer. I excitedly dove in to retrieve the money, and promptly hit and broke my nose on the washer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 944

You deserved it 26 333

Getting a head start on the Halloween look

By Ouch - 26/10/2019 22:00

Today, while washing dishes for my friend, I managed to break an unbreakable glass and slice my hand open on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 479

You deserved it 182

Roadworthy

By MerryDeathmas - 18/07/2015 04:31 - Canada - Lloydminster

Today, after an argument with my girlfriend, I tried to be dramatic by slamming my car door shut as hard as I could. Something broke and now it won't open. Now I have to climb through the passenger's side just to drive my car to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 533

You deserved it 30 097

stupidirish 0

Wednesday 17 March 2010 12:23

you sound like a darwin award winner. if you don't know what that is, google it and you'll see exactly what i mean. OP: please do not reproduce.

ImaginaryFoe 0

Wednesday 17 March 2010 12:36

Here are three.

Comments

lickmyjock 0

Wednesday 17 March 2010 12:49

Let me bend u over, then you'll hurt.

dumbhaters 0

Wednesday 17 March 2010 13:00

What the ****. Does saying that make you feel big? You probably have a pin...

katelynnn20 0

Wednesday 17 March 2010 18:02

more like a tic tac

aardvarkish 16

Wednesday 17 March 2010 13:04

Did it even occur to you that you might need a fire axe for this?

iamchuck 0

Wednesday 17 March 2010 13:08

Dumb cow. Dryer repair is man's work, but at least you were trying to get where you could do women's work.

Vitamin_C 0

Wednesday 17 March 2010 14:14

The little girl in your picture has an awesome future in store with a role model like you around. You should shackle her to the kitchen sink now, get her used to it.

MF12 0

Wednesday 17 March 2010 16:54

.... I don't know, the phrase "dumb cow" has always bothered me more than say, "idiot", "dipshit", "********"... anyone else?

iamchuck 0

Wednesday 17 March 2010 18:32

It wouldn't If you weren't a cow

Purple_monkey313 0

Wednesday 22 June 2011 11:02

sorry to let you know times have changed and women can do just as much as guys now a days

okieraider71 4

Wednesday 17 March 2010 13:22

OP-- You used the wrong tools! There are very few problems in the world that can not be solved with a good pair of combat boots, a clean weapon and a sharp knife. Go to You Tube and watch the washing machine eat a hand grenade. It will make you feel a lot better.