Miscellaneous: Today, I got into a fight with the dryer over a plastic toy car....

By Loser - 17/03/2010 04:41 - Canada

Today, I got into a fight with the dryer over a plastic toy car. My hand is bleeding and numb, three of my nails are broken and I have a bruise on my chin. The plastic car is still stuck in the now broken dryer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 752

You deserved it 26 009

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
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Same thing different taste

My home hates me

By Anonymous - 24/07/2015 02:13 - United States - San Francisco

Today, over the course of three hours, I was burned by our toaster oven, hit in the head by a fridge door, hit my toes on a chair, clipped my hip on a table edge, and had both the washer and dryer lids slam on the same hand. I'm not sure what hurts more, my body or the shame. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 251

You deserved it 4 329

By Anonymous - 31/12/2015 21:26 - New Zealand

Today, I found out how it feels to have a car door slammed shut on my hand, breaking two of my fingers. Hint: it's fucking painful. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 173

You deserved it 2 040

Good samaritan

By Anonymous - 09/10/2010 23:32 - Antigua and Barbuda

Today, I passed a car, and heard a baby crying in the back seat. It was hot and no one was around. All the doors were locked so I broke it with a rock, cutting my arm and setting the alarm off. Only to find out that it was a realistic baby doll. I have to get 7 stitches and pay for the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 301

You deserved it 9 441

By Z - 03/07/2010 19:26 - United States

Today, after a large, dramatic fight with my girlfriend in a parking lot, we stopped arguing altogether and hugged, dropping the issue. Twenty seconds later, I accidentally slammed her hand in the car door, breaking two of her fingers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 833

You deserved it 14 275

By yardswoman - 29/06/2016 23:01

Today, I was mowing my yard when I hit a small rock, which hit my shed. I got done mowing and realized that it wasn't a small rock, it was my son's toy plyers and it wasn't my shed, it was my car window, which had shattered on impact. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 131

You deserved it 1 722

One-handed typing

By Justin Parker - 17/06/2021 04:00

Today, I was changing a flat tire on my car when it fell off the jack and crushed my hand. After ripping my hand free and waiting 2 hours for AAA, I get to go find out if my hand is broken. FML

I agree, your life sucks 884

You deserved it 125

By ouch - 26/06/2010 14:23 - Canada

Today, my friend hit a glass with her arm, so I dove to try and catch it before it hit the ground and shattered. I hit my head against the table, giving me a nice gash that needed stitches. The glass was actually plastic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 720

You deserved it 8 987

Cash grab

By Megan - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Fayetteville

Today, I was doing my laundry when I saw a dollar bill at the bottom of the washer. I excitedly dove in to retrieve the money, and promptly hit and broke my nose on the washer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 944

You deserved it 26 333

Getting a head start on the Halloween look

By Ouch - 26/10/2019 22:00

Today, while washing dishes for my friend, I managed to break an unbreakable glass and slice my hand open on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 479

You deserved it 182

Roadworthy

By MerryDeathmas - 18/07/2015 04:31 - Canada - Lloydminster

Today, after an argument with my girlfriend, I tried to be dramatic by slamming my car door shut as hard as I could. Something broke and now it won't open. Now I have to climb through the passenger's side just to drive my car to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 533

You deserved it 30 097

stupidirish 0

Wednesday 17 March 2010 12:23

you sound like a darwin award winner. if you don't know what that is, google it and you'll see exactly what i mean. OP: please do not reproduce.

ImaginaryFoe 0

Wednesday 17 March 2010 12:36

Here are three.

Comments

hinkypunk_666 0

Thursday 18 March 2010 3:26

18, my brother dropped it in there.

maryamd 3

Thursday 18 March 2010 4:16

#2 just cause ur 14 doesn't mean u can be a bitch by the way im 14 too

kogar 0

Thursday 18 March 2010 4:57

#2 is ugly

kogar 0

Thursday 18 March 2010 4:59

im 14 and i can honestly say im a bitch to people, just to pwn

mzhonesty 0

Thursday 18 March 2010 5:26

Why is there a toy car in your dryer? Do you have children, or something?

intolerance 0

Thursday 18 March 2010 5:51

that's gay that's not even worth saying fml it's like lolzz

Darkhumor 0

Thursday 18 March 2010 11:53

Wow that sucks, why didn't you find osmething to chisel/lever it off with? I understand not everybody has a crowbar at home, but you could try stabbing it with something solid like a pair of scissors, pen, or knife to get it off. And I hope you feel better reading everyone hatin on #2, I totally feel sorry for your nails (Use a tool next time, work smarter, not harder!)

ZombieKitteh 8

Sunday 13 June 2010 2:04

sounds like you kicked its ass. high five!

XxMoonGirlAshomi 0

Sunday 7 November 2010 19:29

dryers r incompitable divices

cowboydinosaur 0

Wednesday 31 August 2011 9:31

Why didn't you use a tool like the evolved primate that you are? Tools are like... human's thing. Scrape the damn thing off with a fork or screwdriver. Why would you ever reason to put your hands anywhere near something that has melted from intense heat? Was it on fire? Why was the first thing you jumped to use your fingers on it? This story is full of ****.