Health: Today, I had a dream in which I was being mugged. I started fighting...

By Anonymous - 11/08/2013 18:11 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I had a dream in which I was being mugged. I started fighting the muggers off, while in reality, my fist smacked my wife in the face. Now she has a black eye, nobody believes my story, and they think I'm a wife beater. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 406

You deserved it 5 960

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Same thing different taste

By DravensMommy - 06/08/2009 19:22 - United States

Today, I woke up with a black eye. Why? My husband was having a dream where he was fighting somebody and wound up punching me in the face in his sleep. I had a very important job interview this morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 550

You deserved it 3 013

By Grubendol - 15/12/2011 17:30 - United States

Today, I had a dream in which I was arguing with my mom. In the dream, she threatened to hit me, and I told her I'd do it myself. I reared back and knocked the crap out of myself. I'm awake now, and my jaw still hurts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 622

You deserved it 6 014

Explain this

By Jenny - 16/01/2024 23:00 - United States

Today, my husband smacked me quite hard, and I have a black eye as a result. It's not a case of a domestic abuse, it was 100% unintended because he was sleeping and had a really bad dream that made him swing his arm. He's feeling bad about it, and I would laugh it off, but I have an important meeting tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 637

You deserved it 89

By randomguy - 09/07/2012 15:09 - United States - Saylorsburg

Today, I woke up after my pregnant fiancée punched me in the face. Apparently, I rolled over in my sleep and knocked her out of bed. She is still pissed about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 973

You deserved it 12 166

By Spa Catholic - 10/06/2015 12:00 - United States - Taunton

Today, I saw a woman being mugged. I ran up to help and pushed the guy off of her. She then punched me in the face and called the cops because she was, "just living out a fantasy" and I'm, "a lunatic for trying to help." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 790

You deserved it 2 133

By Anonymous - 24/07/2017 07:00 - United States - Warren

Today, while having a bad dream, I went to punch a bully in the face. Mid-swing I wake up and punch the solid concrete wall to my basement bedroom FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 277

You deserved it 644

By Anonymous - 15/04/2011 00:53 - Canada

Today, during a major argument with my girlfriend, I shoved a door open, which then rebounded and hit me in the face. I'm not sure which is more pathetic: that I was savaged by a door, or that I made up a story about kicking a mugger's ass to explain the huge black eye to my coworkers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 620

You deserved it 36 078

Nightmare mode

By oliver - 27/01/2016 12:02 - United States

Today, I woke up with a pounding headache. My wife tells me that last night I woke up from a nightmare, screaming, tried to run away, and knocked myself out running headfirst into the bedroom wall. So she put me back to bed and went back to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 522

You deserved it 2 269

Night terrors

By Tanisha Skye Regeling - 11/06/2020 23:02

Today, I woke up with a headache and a bruised forehead after my husband full-force elbowed me in the head last night in his sleep. It wouldn't be so bad, except for the fact he has zero memory of doing it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 420

You deserved it 180

Sleep punching is a thing

By Anonymous - 13/09/2021 02:00

Today, I woke up to a punch in the face. My girlfriend said it was because she dreamed that I'd bought all her friends Taco Bell but didn't bring her anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 974

You deserved it 102

Olympiakos10 15

Monday 12 August 2013 2:03

Atleast you didn't stab the muggers in your dream ;]

ty7in_topic 31

Monday 12 August 2013 2:04

Why doesn't your wife tell them that your story's true OP. I'm sure they'll believe the story if she says it.

Comments

wendyalejandra 9

Monday 12 August 2013 7:52

I once punched my brother in a dream, at the same time I punched my cousin in real life

TheDrifter 23

Monday 12 August 2013 15:26

Am I missing something? Why were you in bed with your cousin?

MissMay18 5

Monday 12 August 2013 8:16

That happened to me and my then bf once.. One of my professors was extremely concerned but eventually believed me that he was a sleep puncher/kicker.

Fedezzer 20

Monday 12 August 2013 8:19

Having people think you're a wife better must be the most horrific feeling.

Poetaster 10

Monday 12 August 2013 8:20

Yea.. Flailing in a dream... Uh huh..,

frip_fml 9

Monday 12 August 2013 8:26

wife beater.

annoyedweirdo 9

Monday 12 August 2013 8:28

I done that before lol but it was my cousin but she just punched me back.. We both woke up with black eyes

GwylaFelidae 7

Monday 12 August 2013 8:31

When I was 11 years old I had a dream where I was enraged at my sister for something and started beating her up. Next morning, I notice a bruise on my mother's chin... We had been sharing a guest bed and I served her an uppercut. Looking back on it it is hilarious, but at the time I felt so bad about it.