Kids: Today, I had a parent-teacher conference with my 8 year old son.... - FML

By yobruh - 17/05/2011 04:54

Today, I had a parent-teacher conference with my 8 year old son. He'd written "Chuck Norris" as the answer for every question on his test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 950

You deserved it 11 258

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Same thing different taste

By Laurel - 25/05/2013 04:37 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I got to take my 10-year-old son to the junior high school at which I teach. When my students questioned him about what I was like at home, he told the entire class: "Well, she farts all the time." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 911

You deserved it 9 073

It's a pretty good response, though

By angrymom - 04/06/2021 01:59

Today, I got a call from my son’s teacher. Apparently, while doing a test, he responded to the question, "Predict how the government will change in the next ten years" with, "I’m not psychic." FML

I agree, your life sucks 908

You deserved it 163

By worldsmosthonestdad - 12/05/2017 14:00

Today, I got a call from my 8-year-old's 3rd grade teacher. Apparently a question went around class asking, "Why do you think you were put on this Earth?", and my son answered, "My dad says it's because I swam the fastest." FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 077

You deserved it 570

By Anonymous - 22/03/2016 21:17 - United States - Fremont

Today, my son's teacher asked him what he wanted to be when he grew up. He put down "unemployed". FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 123

You deserved it 2 088

By Anonymous - 13/03/2016 04:31 - United States - Havertown

Today, my dad had fun embarrassing me as much as possible in my parent-teacher conference by moaning whenever the teacher talked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 494

You deserved it 1 513

Hey! Teachers! Leave those kids alone!

By Anonymous - 24/09/2021 13:58

Today, while grading my kindergarteners' spelling tests, one kid spelled all the words wrong, including his name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 893

You deserved it 188

By :(( - 17/11/2013 20:27 - United States - Pearland

Today, I got my dad to fill in a questionnaire my teacher handed out on Friday. One question said, "I would like to see my son/daughter ______." My dad wrote in the blank space: "Less often." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 436

You deserved it 4 547

By PerpetuallyHappy - 25/09/2012 23:20 - United States - Rochester

Today, I got sent to the principal's office because my Dad decided that instead of signing his name, he would sign, "Ms. Bigtits", because he wanted to make sure the teachers were paying attention to what their students handed in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 910

You deserved it 1 939

By Noname - 26/02/2009 15:30 - United States

Today, I was a TA for a history class and the class was taking a test. About halfway through, I noticed one kid had a small piece of paper in his hand. I ran up the row, grabbed his test, and ripped it into four pieces. Then I took the note from him. It said "I believe in you, -Mom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 86 102

You deserved it 476 130

Huge balls

By Anonymous - 10/10/2021 19:04 - United States

Today, I had to pick up my son from school because he was constantly talking about his "Giant pen." In mid-July, I got him a giant-sized pen (writing utensil) and he liked it very much. Apparently, one of the teachers had their mind in the gutter and thought he was talking about… you know what. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 296

You deserved it 147

Next

Top comments

hellogoodbye1996 6

Tuesday 17 May 2011 21:44

so it was a parent teacher conference because he did exceedingly well on his test?

issoz 10

Tuesday 17 May 2011 16:03

This kid sure knows about life!

Comments

Batmon8523 0

Tuesday 17 May 2011 16:30

how is this a FML moment!? This should be the new best day of your life!

loveurlifeJK 5

Tuesday 17 May 2011 16:30

Bigfoot owns a blurry video of Chuck Norris walking. When God said "Let there be light", Chuck Norris said "Say 'please' first". Chuck Norris is the best thing before, after, and during sliced bread. I could go on for hours.

RedPillSucks 31

Tuesday 17 May 2011 16:47

cool beans, grrr friend

pitchblease 2

Tuesday 17 May 2011 16:31

chuck Norris walked down the street with an erection. there were no survivors.

ADub55 0

Tuesday 17 May 2011 17:39

hahaha thats the best one ive heard

jvillan87 5

Tuesday 17 May 2011 17:58

Agreed!

jvillan87 5

Tuesday 17 May 2011 18:00

Agreed!

ChibiGirl5 0

Tuesday 17 May 2011 16:31

hahahaha your son wins

deathphsyco 0

Tuesday 17 May 2011 16:35

it's not FML it's fmw (******* mega win

vtecsauce93 0

Tuesday 17 May 2011 16:40

that is awesome

DaddyFatSacks 0

Tuesday 17 May 2011 16:41

I agree your son is gifted. I wish I woulda been that smart. I wouldnt be stuck working at wal mart

emilysanerd 0

Tuesday 17 May 2011 16:42

****** win!

nanlew 0

Tuesday 17 May 2011 16:48

I'm sorry but this is hilarious!!!

lmaoatall 6

Tuesday 17 May 2011 16:49

who discovered America? chuck Norris what is h2o? chuck Norris who is the president of the united states? chuck Norris what's 9+9? chuck Norris who is the main lead actor in Texas ranger? chuck Norris hey I got one right

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The Top

Today, I learned that I actually like my boiled eggs a bit softer than I usually make them. I also learned that an outwardly lukewarm egg, when bitten into enthusiastically, is perfectly capable of creating a volcanic eruption of boiling hot yolk all over your hands, clothes and kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 645

You deserved it 412

Today, my daughter found a hair baked into the crust of her pizza. Grossed out, she put it down the garbage disposal, but I told her to dig it out so we could get a refund. After dinner, she came looking for the saved pizza crust. I was baffled about where it was until I realized I'd eaten it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 292

You deserved it 4 693

The Top

Today, I wanted to take a bubble bath with the jets in the bath that I haven't used in years. When I got in, it took me a while to realize that the jets had squirted out slime and a family of unidentifiable bugs that have probably been living there for years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 318

You deserved it 9 604

Today, I went to have my tires replaced. While I was paying, the cashier asked if I would like a warranty for the tires. I said, "Nah, only idiots who can't drive need that." While pulling out of the parking lot, I took the turn too wide and popped my tire on the median. FML

I agree, your life sucks 542

You deserved it 3 226

Today, I was glued to the toilet all day, gushing fountains of crap, due to my own bad cooking. It got so bad that I ran out of toilet paper and had to desperately jump in the shower and stay there for nearly two hours. I can't even feel my own asshole any more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 447

You deserved it 11 656

Today, I asked my girlfriend if she wanted to go to the movies. She replies, "Sorry I have to do stuff with my parents" Her mum calls and by mistake my girlfriend pressed loud speaker, the first thing her mum said was "Be back at 11". FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 110

You deserved it 2 567

Today, I received a text from my boyfriend telling me how much I wore him out the night before, from all the sex we were having. We had sex for two minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 726

You deserved it 3 173

Today, my 5-year-old got carsick and lost his breakfast all over himself and the back seat. When I got home to clean him off and clean out the car, I discovered that construction workers hit a main water line while working on road expansion at the front of my neighborhood. We won’t have running water until 4 a.m. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 593

You deserved it 114