Health: Today, I had food poisoning. I spent all day on the can. I also...

By Will - 21/02/2010 05:05 - France

Today, I had food poisoning. I spent all day on the can. I also had a bucket to throw up into at the same time. I was sick out of both ends, at the same time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 207

You deserved it 2 769

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Same thing different taste

Hard pass

By Mew - 04/06/2009 12:07 - United States

Today, while working at the hospital, I had a patient with a blocked bowel. It was so bad, feces were entering into her stomach. While leaning down to talk with her, she threw up. I was both vomited and defecated on at the same time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 230

You deserved it 4 087

Hot lava from both ends

By SickBoi - 30/03/2021 14:01 - United States - Cambridge

Today, I was suffering from food poisoning and had constant diarrhea, along with feeling nauseous. I couldn't hold my vomit in and rushed to the toilet, but due to the pressure, I pooped while still in pajamas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 975

You deserved it 96

By Anonymous - 31/10/2009 19:40 - United Kingdom

Today, I had a terrible stomach bug. I quickly jumped off the toilet and crouched over the bowl. I vomited with such force that I splashed the shitty water back into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 774

You deserved it 6 758

By SickSmick - 09/02/2010 12:22 - United Kingdom

Today, I have the flu, food poisoning, and I'm on my period. I have enough liquids pouring out of me from various holes to satisfy a sewer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 592

You deserved it 3 492

By sadddddd - 11/09/2011 01:54 - Canada

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night feeling sick. I went to the bathroom and knelt in front of the toilet, waiting to throw up. When I finally did, I violently shit my pants at the same time. I was at my friend's house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 881

You deserved it 3 270

By cedechan - 29/09/2012 04:08 - United States - Tucson

Today, I got food poisoning at work. I had my head in the toilet when the auto flush decided to turn on. The force of the flush was so powerful half of what I threw up splashed back into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 728

You deserved it 2 479

Wardrobe change please

By Meagan Ortiz - 16/08/2020 23:02

Today, I choked on water so hard that I threw up and shat myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 554

You deserved it 260

By sickday - 02/12/2018 17:30

Today, I took my first holiday from work in over 6 months as it was my birthday. Today was also the day I woke up and vomited violently for 10 straight hours as a result of food poisoning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 964

You deserved it 273

The squits

By Cliff - 11/10/2024 00:00 - Australia - Perth

Today, I got food poisoning from a restaurant that I had chosen for our company party. Everyone who went blamed me for their predicament. I also had to run to the toilet every ten minutes while they were all mad at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 398

You deserved it 92

By Anonymous - 18/12/2010 05:16 - United States

Today, after struggling with anorexia for months, I got food poisoning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 125

You deserved it 7 550

nabzilla 0

Sunday 21 February 2010 12:23

ooft. i feel ya. i had that happen to me once. ==" horrible.

ash92_fml 0

Saturday 27 February 2010 10:46

'wow, my life isn't ******, get over it' um, well it would feel pretty ****** at the time. sick of people like you going 'it's not an FML, dying of cancer would be an FML', the site is meant to be funny, get the **** over it. sooky little bitch.

Comments

caligurl10 0

Sunday 21 February 2010 18:23

and this is an fml?????wtf???

Diannaa 0

Sunday 21 February 2010 18:35

Reminds me of another FML I read, but the girl was also on her period...

mandifer327 0

Sunday 21 February 2010 19:30

This is nothing. Try having an intestinal parasite, which is like food poisoning except you do this nonstop for literally hours. That shit will **** you up.

Hitman585 0

Sunday 21 February 2010 20:01

This really isnt that big a deal.. Happens to me almost every winter just a simple stomach virus that goes away quick.

boredtotears 0

Sunday 21 February 2010 20:05

cause it's just not ecoli unless its firing out both ends!

Ahh_hell 0

Sunday 21 February 2010 20:06

It's amazing how many people could relate....same here..happened two years ago. About a month after laughing at my cousin for it happening to her. Karma is an expedient bitch

waNgEmsauCe 0

Sunday 21 February 2010 20:19

Wow. FYL indeed... at the same time

ezrl_ritvoi 0

Sunday 21 February 2010 20:33

done that... totally terrible... FYL

israelnotjacob 20

Sunday 21 February 2010 20:52

Trust me man it could be worse. One time I was puking and crapping at the same time traveling on a coach bus full of people I knew. And trust me, they didn't forget about it for quite some time.