Health: Today, I had food poisoning. I spent all day on the can. I also...

By Will - 21/02/2010 05:05 - France

Today, I had food poisoning. I spent all day on the can. I also had a bucket to throw up into at the same time. I was sick out of both ends, at the same time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 207

You deserved it 2 769

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

Hard pass

By Mew - 04/06/2009 12:07 - United States

Today, while working at the hospital, I had a patient with a blocked bowel. It was so bad, feces were entering into her stomach. While leaning down to talk with her, she threw up. I was both vomited and defecated on at the same time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 230

You deserved it 4 087

Hot lava from both ends

By SickBoi - 30/03/2021 14:01 - United States - Cambridge

Today, I was suffering from food poisoning and had constant diarrhea, along with feeling nauseous. I couldn't hold my vomit in and rushed to the toilet, but due to the pressure, I pooped while still in pajamas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 975

You deserved it 96

By Anonymous - 31/10/2009 19:40 - United Kingdom

Today, I had a terrible stomach bug. I quickly jumped off the toilet and crouched over the bowl. I vomited with such force that I splashed the shitty water back into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 774

You deserved it 6 758

By SickSmick - 09/02/2010 12:22 - United Kingdom

Today, I have the flu, food poisoning, and I'm on my period. I have enough liquids pouring out of me from various holes to satisfy a sewer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 592

You deserved it 3 492

By sadddddd - 11/09/2011 01:54 - Canada

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night feeling sick. I went to the bathroom and knelt in front of the toilet, waiting to throw up. When I finally did, I violently shit my pants at the same time. I was at my friend's house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 881

You deserved it 3 270

By cedechan - 29/09/2012 04:08 - United States - Tucson

Today, I got food poisoning at work. I had my head in the toilet when the auto flush decided to turn on. The force of the flush was so powerful half of what I threw up splashed back into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 728

You deserved it 2 479

Wardrobe change please

By Meagan Ortiz - 16/08/2020 23:02

Today, I choked on water so hard that I threw up and shat myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 554

You deserved it 260

By sickday - 02/12/2018 17:30

Today, I took my first holiday from work in over 6 months as it was my birthday. Today was also the day I woke up and vomited violently for 10 straight hours as a result of food poisoning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 964

You deserved it 273

The squits

By Cliff - 11/10/2024 00:00 - Australia - Perth

Today, I got food poisoning from a restaurant that I had chosen for our company party. Everyone who went blamed me for their predicament. I also had to run to the toilet every ten minutes while they were all mad at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 398

You deserved it 92

By Anonymous - 18/12/2010 05:16 - United States

Today, after struggling with anorexia for months, I got food poisoning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 125

You deserved it 7 550

nabzilla 0

Sunday 21 February 2010 12:23

ooft. i feel ya. i had that happen to me once. ==" horrible.

ash92_fml 0

Saturday 27 February 2010 10:46

'wow, my life isn't ******, get over it' um, well it would feel pretty ****** at the time. sick of people like you going 'it's not an FML, dying of cancer would be an FML', the site is meant to be funny, get the **** over it. sooky little bitch.

Comments

ctgirl12345 0

Monday 22 February 2010 3:10

I have never personally expirienced that but it sounds horrible =[. that's one of the worst FML's that I have ever heard :(

Thunderbender 2

Monday 22 February 2010 3:26

You were shooting out both ends? =o You should have spun around like a sprinkler : D Tcht Tcht Tcht Tcht, Tcht Tcht Tcht Tcht, Tcht Tcht Tcht Tcht, BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEH.

Erniesduck123 0

Monday 22 February 2010 3:42

Omg, you are like, the first person ever to have food poisoning! They call Staphylococcus aureus the two-bucket disease for a reason, and you are one of an estimated 76 million this year who will get a foodborne disease, not even one of the 325,000 who will be hospitalized, or one of the 5,000 who will die in the United States alone. How does this boring stuff get passed?

00FireSong00 0

Monday 22 February 2010 3:59

Oh lovely. I feel for you, I had that once for a whole entire day once. I hope you feel better ! :)

thatonegirl2012 0

Monday 22 February 2010 5:21

hope u feel better

korcagirl1 0

Monday 22 February 2010 7:05

your stupid little dick is retarded.

sherleelee 4

Monday 22 February 2010 7:53

Omg QQ anymore boo hoo im sure everyone has had a moment like this in there life the whole out the bum and mouth at the same combo happens su and gfo hahaha