Intimacy: Today, I had sex with a guy wearing a KFC uniform. Hat included.... - FML

By lyfisdyno - 12/09/2013 00:16 - United Kingdom - Malvern

Spicy

Today, I had sex with a guy wearing a KFC uniform. Hat included. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 808

You deserved it 74 079

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

Backhanded

By kiwi - 13/02/2009 19:24 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, as I was getting dressed after having sex with a guy I like, he told me I looked better with my clothes on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 410

You deserved it 5 609

You tried

By briiiiiiii123 - 12/01/2015 07:56 - United States - Buffalo

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I had 'car sex'. It sucked and resulted in him masturbating into a McDonald's bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 484

You deserved it 7 755

By Anonymous - 13/01/2011 21:10 - Lebanon

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my fiancé when he stopped and said, "Boy, what I wouldn't give for a burger right now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 394

You deserved it 5 001

By notsohappy - 18/02/2009 21:14 - United States

Spicy

Today, was the first time I had sex with a guy I really like. I took off my shirt and my bra and he said "wow, that's disappointing." FML

I agree, your life sucks 118 917

You deserved it 11 084

First time

By Anonymous - 13/03/2021 23:30 - United Kingdom - Gloucester

Spicy

Today, I had sex for the first time. I realised that I was more satisfied by last night's dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 163

You deserved it 257

Downhill from here

By forewhatnow - 07/11/2009 08:47 - Australia

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend took me out to a really romantic dinner. Later, I lost my virginity. The chicken was better than he was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 745

You deserved it 9 859

By stillkindahorny - 13/09/2011 05:51 - United States

Spicy

Today, I finally had sex with the guy I've been seeing. It took him longer to put the condom on than it did to finish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 805

You deserved it 4 728

What are the odds?

By pchis4ever - 20/11/2009 18:30 - United States

Today, I was eating at KFC when my roommate unexpectedly showed up. He asked me who I was there with, and I told him I was on a sexy date with his mom. Just then a woman 5 feet away turned around and gave me a disgusted look. Guess whose mom was in town visiting for the weekend? FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 627

You deserved it 37 130

By Anonymous - 05/02/2012 15:45 - Reserved

Today, I was having lunch at McDonald's when I dropped a French fry down my shirt. It stuck out the top of my bra. Before I had the chance to remove it, a creepy man picked it out and ate it saying that it was the best French fry he had ever eaten. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 893

You deserved it 5 070

By confusedcatlover - 06/04/2013 11:42 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I walked in on my husband eating cat food out of the cat bowl dressed in a cat costume. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 278

You deserved it 6 222

Next

Top comments

Wizardo 33

Thursday 12 September 2013 9:02

Was it finger lickin' good though? If not you should turn on the damn lights next time...

bellydancer82 15

Thursday 12 September 2013 9:04

I feel like too much of this story is missing....

Comments

turtle713 3

Friday 13 September 2013 15:50

I get that the uniform ain't all that--wore one for almost 3 years myself; but unless you did it to pay for your chicken addiction I don't see the problem. Quickies happen all the time, you don't always have to get nekid for sex.

humanityislost 5

Saturday 14 September 2013 3:44

Can I bang you with my peanut butter jelly outfit.

Inked0803 12

Saturday 14 September 2013 9:59

Did he have a KFC fantasy?

Castillo_Daniel 2

Saturday 14 September 2013 17:07

Everyone loves a man in a uniform.

an3ph 20

Sunday 15 September 2013 7:38

Behind the fryer?

Aimee1331 9

Sunday 15 September 2013 9:10

Uhhhh....

happyfingers 15

Sunday 15 September 2013 23:39

Okkaaay.... So? If it's such a horrible thing, why did you do it? You deserve it... Whatever... IT is....

imaboss177 5

Tuesday 17 September 2013 5:44

*cough* *cough* ****

ChaosWolf061 4

Saturday 21 September 2013 1:06

And thats how **** ends

ishqedef 1

Monday 23 September 2013 3:29

did he give u extra mayo ?

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The Top

Today, on my way home from watching a movie with a girl, I began having an erection because I thought I could kiss her goodnight. She dropped me off at home, and with my full blown erection, I walked in front of her car with the headlights on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 434

You deserved it 46 509

If you want to be the next published artist, send an email to alice [at] fmylife.com including a link to your website/blog/DA. But DON'T send your illustration right away! You need first to get in touch with me, and I'll tell you what you have to do!...

I agree, your life sucks 9

You deserved it 23

The Top

Today, my SO almost passed out during sex due to his lack of physical activity. I've forced him to start going to the gym. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 017

You deserved it 246

Today, my friend and I went to a really expensive restaurant. We got really bad service, so halfway through the meal we decided to dine-and-dash. Turns out I left my purse in the restaurant. With my I.D. and everything inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 002

You deserved it 192 014

Today, after sending in my passport application for a trip to Paris, I got a letter from the state department saying despite them having my original birth certificate, I don't exist. Upon calling them, I was told that it only proves I'm a citizen, not that I exist. I pay taxes and have a mortgage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 525

You deserved it 2 728

Today, I was taking notes during a meeting, and politely asked the speaker to repeat a statement. She snapped, "My time has value. I do not repeat. If you don't respect me enough to pay attention, it's your problem." Everyone just stared at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 969

You deserved it 144

Today, the Star Wars Cantina song had been stuck in my head since I woke up, as my brother was humming it. I finally managed to get it out of my head. Then my mom started to whistle it. It's stuck in my head again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 184

You deserved it 4 269

Today, my mom is convinced that my cat is the reincarnation of Vincent van Gogh. Why? He sleeps under my sunflowers and is a ginger tabby cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 389

You deserved it 3 172