Health: Today, I had surgery on my foot. The doctor told me I'd be on...

By gimp. - 08/05/2009 08:28 - United States

Today, I had surgery on my foot. The doctor told me I'd be on crutches for 6 months. I texted my boyfriend the news, promising lots of intimate favors if he'd watch movies with me while on bed rest for the next week. He texted back, "No way. I don't date cripples." Dumped for a broken foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 346

You deserved it 5 272

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 21/08/2015 01:42 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my boyfriend surprised me by offering me a foot massage to ease my sore feet after a run. I asked for a lot of pressure. Now I'm back home in a walking boot after being diagnosed with a fractured fifth metatarsal bone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 575

You deserved it 5 414

Road trip from hell

By anonymous - 17/09/2011 07:44 - United States

Today, I had leg surgery. While I was recovering in the hospital, my boyfriend dumped me. I then had to ride home, a 2-hour drive, listening to my mother and aunt tell me he was the best thing to happen to me, and that I'll never find a better man. Then the morphine wore off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 712

You deserved it 2 742

Superficial

By Marisela - 24/05/2024 08:00 - United States

Today, I was dumped by my boyfriend of 2 years. I'd been involved in an accident that severely hurt my right leg. As a result, I couldn't work out and gained 35 pounds, also due to stress eating and some meds I’m taking. Apparently I’m no longer attractive and he can’t have people thinking he’s a “chubby chaser.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 595

You deserved it 151

By noname - 18/02/2013 01:28 - United States - Middletown

Today, after being in the hospital for 2 weeks after emergency abdominal surgery, my girlfriend, who didn't even bother to ask how I was, made me hobble to her house just to dump me and send me straight back home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 191

You deserved it 3 050

Nice guy

By Anonymous - 23/09/2021 11:00

Today, I found out that I need a hysterectomy. When I told my boyfriend of 2 years, he broke up with me, because he didn't have time to "coddle my feelings". FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 172

You deserved it 97

By FootyFoot - 06/03/2012 11:50 - Australia

Today, I texted my mom if she could pick me up from the hospital. She replied "No fatty, walk home." I have a broken foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 466

You deserved it 3 223

Help! I need somebody!

By Anonymous - 16/07/2022 16:00

Today, I just had knee surgery which has put me on crutches for 6 weeks. I fell on my ass after washing my hands after using the bathroom. Ashamed, my boyfriend and father had to pick me up. I destroyed the towel rack, ripping it of the wall. All this pain is now potentially for nothing. It's day 4 post operation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 809

You deserved it 130

Incapacitated

By Anonymous - 23/03/2023 02:00 - United States

Today, I tried a new workout routine at the gym. I was feeling great until I dropped a big-ass weight on my foot and had to go to the hospital. After hours of waiting, the doctor told me that I had a broken toe and would need to wear a cast for six weeks. The worst part? I have a job interview next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 612

You deserved it 170

By crutchy - 20/03/2011 15:03 - United States

Today, at the age of 16, I'm recovering from hip surgery. My friends took me out to the movies to cheer me up. They thought it would be hilarious to steal my crutches and leave me stranded and alone in the mall, multiple times. It wasn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 520

You deserved it 4 078

Injury meet insult

By hystcheria - 09/08/2022 16:00 - United States - Fredericksburg

Today, I shattered my ankle while mountain biking with my boyfriend. As I lay writhing on the ground, waiting for the ambulance, he traced the outline of my thigh and said, "You should get this suctioned out while you're in the hospital." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 123

You deserved it 154

Limberger 1

Friday 8 May 2009 16:12

Wow, what an asshole

Ravemaster7 0

Friday 8 May 2009 16:12

Wow, seems like he was a douche anyways. Get better with some real friends :-)

Comments

Jimboom 11

Friday 8 May 2009 16:14

Yea. Defiantly not worth your time. text him back saying "Well thats good because I don't date assholes!"

LilKonvicted 0

Friday 8 May 2009 16:25

Damn what an ass

juggyjones 0

Friday 8 May 2009 16:16

you're better off.

asttro_boy 0

Friday 8 May 2009 16:21

I hope breaks both feet...

BiggieA 0

Friday 8 May 2009 16:17

Sounds like something I'd say....just I would be kidding around

fuckyourlife8 0

Friday 8 May 2009 16:21

damn #9 bet me to it =P seriously though, FYL girl. Hope you find someone better!

fuckyourlife8 0

Friday 8 May 2009 16:19

I would have replied with "that's okay, I don't date assholes"

genius_man16 0

Friday 8 May 2009 16:19

You are WAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYY better off without this douchebag. Be thankful.

becky_becks 0

Friday 8 May 2009 16:27

I agree with nine.

dominoeffect 0

Friday 8 May 2009 16:29

That sucks, but in the long run, you're better off without him :)

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend started to suck on my boob, which I quite enjoy, until he said he was breastfeeding and called me "Mummy". I don't think I can ever let his mouth near my boobs ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 026

You deserved it 3 406

Today, one of my 5-year-old son's teeth fell out, but he's quite scatterbrained and he lost it. He did however find my vibrating duck under my pillow, and is now crying because he thinks that I stole his tooth so that the tooth fairy would bring me a toy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 145

You deserved it 7 104

The Top

Today, I tried whitening my teeth with an off-brand product. It didn't whiten my teeth, but it did burn parts of my gums off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 314

You deserved it 7 697

Today, I still can't talk to cute girls my age without getting tics. I'm over 30, a lesbian, and technically still a virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 988

You deserved it 221

Today, I had an elderly man come to my cash register. His total came to $15.50 He handed me $5 in nickels and dimes. A full roll of quarters. Before I could take the roll, he bust it open, making me count it. After that was all counted he was 50 cents short. So he handed me a $10 bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 149

You deserved it 2 945

Today, I had my 7 month check up for my pregnancy. The nurse weighed me and said, "I see you've gotten into the Halloween candy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 650

You deserved it 3 959

Today, I found out I'm allergic to my wife's new medicated handcream after I came down with a nasty, itchy rash on my chest, stomach, cock, and balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 715

You deserved it 2 999

Today, the girl I've been dating for several months, and fallen in love with, said "We're just friends, right? My mom thinks I'm leading you on." FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 930

You deserved it 4 886