Miscellaneous: Today, I had to buy another pair of "fat jeans", because my old... - FML

By FML - 30/08/2009 14:15 - United States

Today, I had to buy another pair of "fat jeans", because my old "fat jeans" became my new "skinny jeans." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 295

You deserved it 58 971

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 29/06/2009 17:55 - Canada

Today, I put on my "fat jeans" because none of my other jeans fit. Neither do my fat jeans. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 898

You deserved it 46 648

XXL

By Anonymous - 07/08/2020 23:01

Today, after losing 20 pounds, I decided to purchase new clothes. All of the clothes at the store were still too small for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 355

You deserved it 282

Forgetting something?

By Julez - 14/01/2012 16:14 - United States

Today, I was trying on some new pants in the fitting room at a store. I was so overcome with joy when I noticed that I had dropped two pant sizes, that when I took them off and went outside to pay for them, I realized I forgot to put back on my original jeans. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 318

You deserved it 13 692

Silver linings

By Anonymous - 07/10/2009 01:11 - Canada

Today, I went shopping for a new pair of jeans. I was feeling good about the fact that I was going down a waist size until the cashier decided to discuss with me, three co-workers, and the ten other people in line how she didn't even know jeans came in sizes that big. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 434

You deserved it 6 823

By Voltron - 11/01/2012 00:37 - United States

Today, I have to go on a diet, because I can't afford to buy bigger clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 783

You deserved it 37 619

Poor excuse

By worstwaytodumpagirl - 28/12/2013 22:34 - United Kingdom - Harrow

Today, my boyfriend bought me a pair of jeans. I couldn't fit into them, and he reacted to this by saying I've gotten too fat for him, and he can't be with me anymore. I took them off and saw they were a size 4. I've been a size 8 for the past 2 years, and he knows this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 033

You deserved it 3 565

By Fatnotpregnant - 30/03/2017 16:00

Today, I now know why my new jeans are so comfy. They're maternity jeans. I thought the soft elastic in front was just for added comfort. Apparently, I need to lose some weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 150

You deserved it 1 311

Encouragement

By gretel - 16/09/2010 13:17 - Australia

Today, I'd finally reached my goal weight. I went into the office where my husband was, to show him the new size 8 jeans I'd bought. He responded with "I wouldn't buy any more clothes, you'll be putting the weight back on again soon." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 003

You deserved it 4 242

Womens' pockets liberation now!

By Anonymous - 06/06/2021 21:03 - United Kingdom - Runcorn

Today, I had to give in and order men's jeans, just so I could have functional pockets. Ordinarily not a problem, except I have wide hips and a suitable size doesn't seem to exist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 792

You deserved it 124

By xkellybabyyx - 25/11/2009 01:05 - United States

Today, I was walking through the streets with my best friend, feeling confident in my new skinny jeans. My friend said, "you really should be wearing a thong with those pants, your underwear line is showing". I was wearing a thong, those lines were just my fat rolls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 907

You deserved it 40 666

Next

Top comments

FPsLife 5

Sunday 30 August 2009 20:16

Take control. Eat healthier. Be more active. You can do it!

helloprettyladee 0

Sunday 30 August 2009 20:41

So, you've gained a ton of weight. What do you do? Log onto the computer! Best solution ever award.

Comments

Vertoule 7

Monday 31 August 2009 14:23

I got a pill for you that will stop you from gaining weight. It's about three inches wide, made entirely out of cork, and is meant to be used for 24 hours a day, 7 days a week until the problem is fixed.

Admiral_Awesome 0

Tuesday 1 September 2009 23:04

God have a ******* heart man, anyone can do this and if they're on fml they 're obviously not happy about it! Don't ever tell anyone to kill themselves bud cause Karmas a bitch.

wubbie6723 0

Monday 31 August 2009 14:25

no one wants to hear u complain about how fat u r!!!!!!!

blue_eyed 0

Monday 31 August 2009 14:58

its surprising how easy it is to just put down the flippin cupcake

frankenberrie 0

Monday 31 August 2009 15:25

Jenny Craig time!!!

joethebiden 8

Monday 31 August 2009 15:46

Lay down the fork, fattie.

deaditegirl 0

Monday 31 August 2009 16:05

If you don't like gaining weight, get off your ass and DO SOMETHING about it instead of whining on the internet. YDI.

carli_xo 0

Monday 31 August 2009 20:24

#174: Tht is ttly uncalld for. Lik they WANT to be fat? I can only hope you r kiddng cuz rlly, thts ridiculous. Tellng sum1 to get an eating disordr cuz they THNK theyr fat? She proly isnt even rlly fat. Plus ur an idiot. Iv nevr heard a wors argument in my life. All the ppl who r bashng fat ppl just shut up. The OP is only sayng tht she gaind weight. Dnt get on her bak about it. U rnt her mothr!

YDIBITCHES 0

Monday 31 August 2009 21:23

You suck dick at spelling #175

ohmandapants 16

Monday 31 August 2009 21:42

LMAO.This made me laugh. I'm amused. Thank you. But in a way you're completely right. Hehe and I thought I was bitchy :). And #175 pick up a ******* dictionary and learn how to spell. It would take you what? An extra second to type that ONE MISSING LETTER?

mkivsuptt 0

Tuesday 1 September 2009 0:03

YDI for being a fat slob, you fatty.

melange_fml 0

Tuesday 1 September 2009 1:10

YDI for thinking being fat is a bad thing. And everyone else on this thread also deserves whatever ill befalls them for calling you a fatty.

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend "proposed" to me. When we first started dating, he told me that he hated the concept of marriage and absolutely never wanted to go through with it. So I laughed and turned him down, obviously thinking it was just a joke. He was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 349

You deserved it 237

Today, my boyfriend of a year told me he is at the point in his life where he is ready to start a family, get married and have a baby. He also casually stated that he wished he could meet someone he could see himself settling down with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 330

You deserved it 4 254

The Top

Today, I hooked up with a man for the first time since my divorce. The sex was mind-blowing. His pillow talk then began with something like, “A cabal of Hollywood celebrities and political insiders want to rape your children…” I’m so dry now, I think I hit menopause. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 824

You deserved it 382

Today, my boss asked me to help train his son, so I put him to work cleaning tools covered in oil. He didn’t warn me his son has a violent temper, and would overreact at being asked to work for a living by dumping the bucket of tools on my head, breaking my glasses and concussing me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 356

You deserved it 78

Today, the canine behaviour course I am studying released a new assignment in which I need to film myself teaching a dog a new trick. The only dog I have access to is my sister's neurotic, anxious Chihuahua who bites at any sudden noise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 685

You deserved it 2 879

Today, I'm visiting my wife's home country for the first time. To avoid the spicy street food, I bought something labelled "Fruit salad" from a street vendor. I didn't know even Pakistani fruit salad can be very spicy too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 944

You deserved it 362

Today, I was singing in a terrible voice on purpose during a Zoom call from school, thinking I was on mute. I carried on, until a message saying, "The host has muted you" appeared on my screen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 542

You deserved it 1 733

Today, an incredibly rude woman came in for a hairdressing appointment. I had to put up with being yelled at and called a "clumsy bitch," a "pleb," and other insults for almost half an hour. When I finally managed to finish her hair, instead of tipping me, she spat at my feet and stormed out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 411

You deserved it 2 303