Intimacy: Today, I had to call my mom and tell her about the insurance...

By manda - 16/02/2009 23:36 - United States

Today, I had to call my mom and tell her about the insurance claim that is going to be coming through in the next couple of weeks. I spent the night in the hospital. I'm allergic to lube. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 340

You deserved it 7 805

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By johnny121 - 01/01/2010 19:14 - France

Today, I had to go to the hospital. While I was there, my mom started hitting on a doctor. Later I saw them making out in the room next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 047

You deserved it 2 662

By Anonymous - 02/04/2009 02:49 - United States

Today, as a joke, my friends plastic wrapped me to my bed while I was sleeping, I had an allergic reaction to the plastic and had to have the girl I like come cut me out and give me my meds. I sleep naked and was unable to put on clothes during this time. She saw me naked, swollen and with hives. FML

I agree, your life sucks 85 327

You deserved it 5 945

A mother's love…

By Anonymous - 08/10/2020 14:01 - United States - Allentown

Today, I crawled into my mom's room to tell her my stomach was in massive pain. She ended up throwing me out of the room while spraying me with Lysol. My appendix was about to burst and I needed surgery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 827

You deserved it 109

By Foxy - 10/01/2010 17:36 - United States

Today, I lost my virginity to my long time boyfriend and found out I'm severely allergic to latex. I also found out that my family doctor had been transferred to the ER. He went to play golf with my dad later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 754

You deserved it 3 565

Kinda awkward

By Anonymous - 21/09/2013 01:18 - United States - Tampa

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when his condom came off inside of me. We couldn't get it out, so I had to tell my mom, who didn't know we were sexually active, and then go to the ER. After an unsuccessful visit, we came home only to find the condom in my sheets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 259

You deserved it 37 892

No more bukkake for you

By Anonymous - 29/10/2020 23:02

Today, I was rushed to the emergency room for severe facial rashes. My boyfriend and I then found out I'm allergic to seminal fluid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 354

You deserved it 198

Itchy and Scratchy

By Ashley - 15/04/2021 21:30

Today, I was getting ready for a very unpleasant doctor's appointment. I got out of the shower and used a new body spray all over my torso and arms. Turns out I'm allergic to it and now my skin is on fire, so now I get to go to an already uncomfortable appointment even more uncomfortable than I'd planned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 871

You deserved it 206

Rash beard

By Rashbeard - 05/01/2020 01:00

Today, I was eating out with my partner, and we decided to use the new lube we bought. Things went great until I later realized I was allergic to it and a large red rash spread all across my mouth and chin. It won't go away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 812

You deserved it 441

By swollenpenis - 25/01/2013 06:11 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I found out the hard way that I'm severely allergic to latex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 447

You deserved it 4 749

Cosy chat

By sick and awkward - 20/05/2012 06:11 - United States - Silver Spring

Today, I was really sick. I had been sneezing all day and my skin had started to dry out. When my mom asked me if I needed anything, I immediately responded with "lotion and tissues," not realizing what I was suggesting. She then talked to me for 20 minutes about how "masturbation is okay." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 346

You deserved it 3 584

neujersey 0

Tuesday 17 February 2009 4:14

Yeah, you didn't have to explain that to her. The insurance explanation of benefits document won't be that descriptive...

Novaeangliae 0

Tuesday 17 February 2009 9:07

Quite possibly the only thing funnier than this post was that conversation with your mother

Comments

laxgirl3 0

Saturday 19 June 2010 15:52

yeah it says CLEARLY that the OP is a girl

ZleveL 0

Tuesday 27 July 2010 7:59

seriously, you couldn't come up with a better name than "Canadian"? ****** every Canadian on xbox live that I see has "canada" in their gt. "Canadian-sniperxxx" or "CaNaDiAnX XPwNeD" etc. it pisses me of soo damn much. you guys are just so full of your selves. **** >:^|

CuttingTheHam 0

Friday 20 August 2010 14:10

Stupid FML. Didn't make any sense

somename1223132 5

Monday 14 March 2011 4:41

I'm canadian u ignorant American

toyota4life94 6

Tuesday 24 May 2011 8:01

I'd muck rather be a proud American than a cocksucking canadian. .

juliegirl96 0

Saturday 11 June 2011 20:20

doesnt make sense..

ibphizznout 0

Monday 1 August 2011 9:00

FYI : lube does consist of few ingredients with the allergen most likely caused from the preservatives to increase the shelf-life of the product. a very common allergy.