Work: Today, I had to explain to a patient that no, her nipples were...

By Anony-moose - 11/10/2011 09:43 - United States

Today, I had to explain to a patient that no, her nipples were not slowly getting smaller. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 149

You deserved it 2 580

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 10/04/2016 11:41 - United States - Bronx

Today, I had to slowly explain to my slightly ditzy roommate that no, I will not grow testicles due to taking testosterone supplements. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 644

You deserved it 1 945

Lost in translation

By Anonymous - 28/04/2024 05:00 - United States

Today, as I was translating for a patient to get an MRI, the tech asked if I had metal in my body. In front of the patient, I had to disclose that my nipples were pierced, so I couldn’t accompany the patient bedside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 183

You deserved it 435

By oliverP123 - 22/07/2011 04:11 - United States

Today, I walked in on my mom and her friends comparing the differences in their nipples. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 452

You deserved it 4 233

By milkysubstance - 14/03/2017 05:00 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I went to the doctor's to find out why I was producing small amounts of milky liquid from my nipples, even though I'm not pregnant. When she asked me to show her, I squirted on her shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 129

You deserved it 496

By yerface - 13/02/2009 03:52 - United States

Today, I told my mom I was excited my boobs were getting bigger. She told me that that's what happens when you get fat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 741

You deserved it 8 735

By wow - 23/06/2011 08:53 - France

Today, I had to explain to my teenage daughter that no, the dishwasher didn't make the glasses shrink, I'd bought smaller glasses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 813

You deserved it 6 204

By baffled - 22/08/2012 20:36 - United Kingdom - Norwich

Today, I had to slowly explain to my best friend that when babies are born, the umbilical cord is attached to the baby's belly-button, not the mother's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 526

You deserved it 1 853

By Leashaness - 15/09/2012 11:07 - United States

Today, my doctor informed me that the pea-sized bump under my arm is a "third breast." That's not what I meant every time I said I wanted more tits. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 353

You deserved it 2 757

So, here's the thing…

By HairyBoobs - 05/11/2009 14:22 - United States

Today, I nearly sliced my nipple off while shaving my chest and had to go to the ER. Turns out it was a teaching hospital so I got to explain in front of two doctors and eight med students how, even though I'm a woman, my nipples are so hairy I have to shave them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 412

You deserved it 6 888

By Anonymous - 01/01/2015 15:09 - United States

Today, I had to explain to my little brother that my pads were not in fact "big band-aids" and that he should probably remove them from his legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 181

You deserved it 3 281

EelJumpsRope 0

Tuesday 11 October 2011 16:10

Reinforce the fact that bologna nipples are gross and smaller nipples are a blessing.

MagicallyFat 12

Tuesday 11 October 2011 16:19

Worst super power. EVER.

Comments

Kiirst_mt1994 26

Tuesday 11 October 2011 17:46

How could could someone even think that O_o

raphanne_fml 33

Tuesday 11 October 2011 18:10

I don't don't know...

Jennyboo5797 4

Tuesday 11 October 2011 22:42

#31 so that means you have the answer?? :D

nerdsgetmehot 22

Tuesday 11 October 2011 17:50

At least she made your day entertaining, right?

ndhin831 2

Tuesday 11 October 2011 19:09

Had she been icing them?

jingersnap721 0

Tuesday 11 October 2011 19:17

This is an actual medical problem. Guys also freak out and think that their junk I shrinking into their body and will disappear

lolfood 24

Tuesday 11 October 2011 19:35

**** or gtfo

lolfood 24

Tuesday 11 October 2011 19:35

**** or gtfo

SinisterMedic 0

Tuesday 11 October 2011 19:42

Wow... aren't you a shitty doctor. FHL for having to put up with a doctor that likes to complain online about their patients concerns.

Merylwen 24

Tuesday 11 October 2011 20:09

Exactly. Her job is to answer her patients questions and concerns, not to make fun of them.

bubo_fml 10

Tuesday 11 October 2011 22:12

I'm surprised that the OP didn't offer massage therapy!!

baseballlegitly0 2

Tuesday 11 October 2011 22:25

her eyesight is just getting worse

Rhetorical 0

Tuesday 11 October 2011 22:36

Smaller no, but harder yes!

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my parents told me that unless I think about my behaviour and make some real changes, people are going to think I’m weird or suspicious, and I’ll never make friends. This is because I choose to attend church on Sundays instead of watching TV and getting drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 376

You deserved it 266

Today, after having had a sore throat all day, I finally decided to have a throat lozenge on the bus. It was nice and soothing, until the bus sharply turned a corner and I started coughing and choking on it violently like a cat with a furball. My throat now feels like Satan pissed nails down it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 378

You deserved it 84

The Top

Today, I was waiting in the McDonald's drive-thru and listening to some music. I was tapping my non-driving foot to the song when I accidentally tapped the wrong foot and rear ended the cop car in front of me. Whoops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 049

You deserved it 27 950

Today, I got some spam stating that I'd have no love life in the coming 10 years if I didn't reply to it. So, no different to the last 10 years then. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 510

You deserved it 2 894

Today, I asked my boyfriend how he felt about me and he said, "You're the hottest seven I've ever met." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 223

You deserved it 4 281

Today, I was house-sitting for some friends of my grandparents while they are out of town. While I was in the shower, the dog decided to take my dirty underwear and run. There is now a pair of lacy, black underwear hidden somewhere this giant house, and they return tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 907

You deserved it 3 351

Today, I teasingly asked my crush why he never came to visit me in my dorm. He said that all his friends there had moved out and gotten apartments, so he had no reason to go to my dorm. Oh. I thought we were friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 841

You deserved it 172

Today, my younger sister, who lives at home and worked 1 day a week at the gym, got her unemployment card. I work at a hospital, on the frontlines, with COVID-19 patients. I don't get hazard pay. She now makes more than me in a week by sitting at home watching Netflix, while I risk my life every day to help people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 502

You deserved it 251

Same thing different taste

Lost in translation

So, here's the thing…

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