Animals: Today, I had to moisturise my dog's testicles because they got...

By Anonymous - 04/08/2010 10:24 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to moisturise my dog's testicles because they got sunburnt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 356

You deserved it 7 945

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Same thing different taste

By julian1 - 19/08/2015 11:34 - United States - Orlando

Today, I decided to sunbathe in my backyard in an attempt to be healthy. The result? Insect bites over my body. Somehow, despite being fully clothed the entire time, my scrotum also received several bites. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 066

You deserved it 10 559

By miss tomato - 08/06/2012 16:36 - United States

Today, I was really badly sunburnt, so I put on some after-sun. The only type we have has glitter in it, and now I look like a sparkling tomato. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 508

You deserved it 5 672

It's a doggy dog world

By Anonymous - 31/10/2019 02:00

Today, I was bathing my dog at a self-serve dog wash at a pet store. The person next to me decided to express his dog's anal glands, and the vile, greasy, fish-smelling liquid hit me on the side of my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 301

You deserved it 166

By anonymous - 24/09/2011 15:22 - United States

Today, I was badly sunburnt even after making it a point to apply a lot of sunscreen. My coworkers thought it amusing to slap me every chance they get. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 396

You deserved it 4 719

By Username - 17/07/2011 19:59 - United States

Today, after applying sunscreen to myself every two hours, I still got sunburned. Through my clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 330

You deserved it 4 671

Alexa, play "Hot Hot Hot" by The Cure

By Talented73 - 07/07/2021 16:01 - United States - Yonkers

Today, we're in the middle of a heatwave. When I woke up this morning, I noticed that my scrotum was stuck to the side of my leg from all the perspiration. I had to actually peel it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 878

You deserved it 151

You what now?

By ashley anne - 16/10/2022 04:00

Today, I was called a wimp for getting a sunburn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 681

You deserved it 150

Life's a beach

By Brittanyy_leigh - 17/12/2009 07:57 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend and I went to the beach. I though he was being really sweet by putting sunscreen on my back as I layed on my stomach. I got home later, and felt that my back was sore. Then I saw the giant penis on my back that been burnt in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 156

You deserved it 6 018

By not as scarred as he should be - 18/10/2012 18:19 - Canada - Cambridge

Today, I walked in on my mother using a razor to shave my dad's cream-covered testicles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 765

You deserved it 3 342

Sneaky boy

By anonymous - 15/12/2015 06:00 - United States - Huffman

Today, I decided to give my dog a bath. Instead, my dog gave me a bath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 995

You deserved it 3 878

antbait11 0

Wednesday 4 August 2010 16:29

did he redrocket on you?

ArtIsResistance7 1

Wednesday 4 August 2010 16:31

lol. It rubs the lotion on the skin... I bet your dog will never look at you the same.

Comments

kelsit 0

Thursday 5 August 2010 5:11

Thats proabaly the most funnesst thing i heard it made my day!!!

pinoyflav 2

Thursday 5 August 2010 5:46

HAHAH thats awesome

Rectumwrecker 0

Thursday 5 August 2010 6:01

thats a pretty nice way of explaining how you licked your dogs balls....kudos

ouch1990 0

Thursday 5 August 2010 6:19

Get him nudered

wiredream 0

Thursday 5 August 2010 6:39

I think the dog is suffering much more than you are :I with pets comes big responsibility...

1400steven 0

Thursday 5 August 2010 6:48

HAHAHAHAHhahahahahaha!!!!!! But seriously, that sucks.

OrgasmicBunnies 9

Thursday 5 August 2010 7:06

it puts the lotion on the skin or else it gets the hose again

lanababee 0

Thursday 5 August 2010 7:28

Ahahaha!! That's sooo sick! How did they even get sunburnt?! xl

xXcookiedoughXx 0

Thursday 5 August 2010 8:19

^ haha good point

TibbysMusic 1

Thursday 5 August 2010 8:00

Like I said up there^^^ **** you asshole.

MitchN 0

Thursday 5 August 2010 8:36

What was it on it's back in the sun for a few hours? Either way he's in a lot more pain than you are mate

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I went to visit my fiancé's dying grandmother in the hospital with him. She started talking to us about living each day to the fullest. His grandmother points to me and says, "Life is short. That's why you don't waste any time screwing girls who look like that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 780

You deserved it 4 168

Today, I attended a cooking class with my co-workers. As the chef prepared to cut up a load of onions for his dish, he warned us to be ready for the "typical reactions". Everyone teared up. Meanwhile, I popped a boner. So much for typical. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 318

You deserved it 9 464

The Top

Today, my friends thought it would be a good idea to make fun of a homeless man. I didn't fancy making fun of the less fortunate, so I stayed a bit back. Still, the homeless man didn't think it would matter to throw a rock at me after my buddies ran away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 657

You deserved it 14 529

Today, my "boyfriend" told me that he loves money more than me and would date it if he could. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 920

You deserved it 328

Today, I told my mom I'm severely allergic to my cat and that the doctor told me it would be best to get rid of the cat. Somewhat jokingly, I told her it was either me or the cat. She chose the cat. She was serious too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 457

You deserved it 5 608

Today, I'm so broke that I had to call in sick to work because I couldn't afford to pay my bus fare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 442

You deserved it 5 249

Today, I've told my boyfriend several times that my toothless grandma can only eat pureed foods, but likes any kind of soup, "as long as there's no meat in it." Guess what was his idea of a gift for her when meeting her for the first time? A steak. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 476

You deserved it 183

Today, I was feeding my neighbor's cat while they are out of town. As I set the food down, the cat bit me, drawing blood. I reflected that although I'm all that stands between it and starvation, even the cat doesn't want to be my friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 914

You deserved it 137