Animals: Today, I had to moisturise my dog's testicles because they got...

By Anonymous - 04/08/2010 10:24 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to moisturise my dog's testicles because they got sunburnt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 356

You deserved it 7 945

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Same thing different taste

By julian1 - 19/08/2015 11:34 - United States - Orlando

Today, I decided to sunbathe in my backyard in an attempt to be healthy. The result? Insect bites over my body. Somehow, despite being fully clothed the entire time, my scrotum also received several bites. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 066

You deserved it 10 559

By miss tomato - 08/06/2012 16:36 - United States

Today, I was really badly sunburnt, so I put on some after-sun. The only type we have has glitter in it, and now I look like a sparkling tomato. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 508

You deserved it 5 672

It's a doggy dog world

By Anonymous - 31/10/2019 02:00

Today, I was bathing my dog at a self-serve dog wash at a pet store. The person next to me decided to express his dog's anal glands, and the vile, greasy, fish-smelling liquid hit me on the side of my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 301

You deserved it 166

By anonymous - 24/09/2011 15:22 - United States

Today, I was badly sunburnt even after making it a point to apply a lot of sunscreen. My coworkers thought it amusing to slap me every chance they get. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 396

You deserved it 4 719

By Username - 17/07/2011 19:59 - United States

Today, after applying sunscreen to myself every two hours, I still got sunburned. Through my clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 330

You deserved it 4 671

Alexa, play "Hot Hot Hot" by The Cure

By Talented73 - 07/07/2021 16:01 - United States - Yonkers

Today, we're in the middle of a heatwave. When I woke up this morning, I noticed that my scrotum was stuck to the side of my leg from all the perspiration. I had to actually peel it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 878

You deserved it 151

You what now?

By ashley anne - 16/10/2022 04:00

Today, I was called a wimp for getting a sunburn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 681

You deserved it 150

Life's a beach

By Brittanyy_leigh - 17/12/2009 07:57 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend and I went to the beach. I though he was being really sweet by putting sunscreen on my back as I layed on my stomach. I got home later, and felt that my back was sore. Then I saw the giant penis on my back that been burnt in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 156

You deserved it 6 018

By not as scarred as he should be - 18/10/2012 18:19 - Canada - Cambridge

Today, I walked in on my mother using a razor to shave my dad's cream-covered testicles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 765

You deserved it 3 342

Sneaky boy

By anonymous - 15/12/2015 06:00 - United States - Huffman

Today, I decided to give my dog a bath. Instead, my dog gave me a bath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 995

You deserved it 3 878

antbait11 0

Wednesday 4 August 2010 16:29

did he redrocket on you?

ArtIsResistance7 1

Wednesday 4 August 2010 16:31

lol. It rubs the lotion on the skin... I bet your dog will never look at you the same.

Comments

purplemnm 9

Wednesday 4 August 2010 17:50

this is Bob Barker saying, "remember to spay or neuter your pet!"

jonny2x4 0

Wednesday 4 August 2010 18:05

Just put a glove on, then take a cold shower afterwards.

zephyrnok 9

Wednesday 4 August 2010 18:07

YDI for not putting sunblock on his balls first.

RockstarChickxD 1

Wednesday 4 August 2010 18:16

Ewww! That's pretty fckin gross.

iplaylax 0

Wednesday 4 August 2010 18:16

I smell a porno

thebluewizard 14

Wednesday 4 August 2010 18:39

Wow, how did this get put through with the horrible grammar?

randomviolet 0

Wednesday 4 August 2010 18:41

ok this isn't such a fml but ur lucky u hadn't took a piece of floss haggen out of a dogs butt!!

nerdsgetmehot 22

Wednesday 4 August 2010 18:48

I kind of doubt that you HAD to...

knockout666 0

Wednesday 4 August 2010 18:49

loolll aw man EWWW ahahaha

vanillapup 0

Wednesday 4 August 2010 18:51

hahahahahaaaa !!

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The Top

Today, during my staff Google Meet conference, I forgot to mute my mic when I joined and I was still listening to a true crime podcast. I started to notice people's confused looks and realized they were all hearing the details of the bodies found. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 044

You deserved it 1 085

Today, I realized that I will never be able to buy the car I've wanted since middle school. The car? A greyish-silver Volvo, which is the make and color of car Kurt Cobain drove. The reason? I've been informed that it's also the make and color of the car that Edward Cullen drives in Twilight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 792

You deserved it 11 207

The Top

Today, I came back from vacation only to find my 16-year-old son was throwing a party with over 30 kids in our house. My 33-year-old sister was having fun dancing on a table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 347

You deserved it 6 444

Today, on my way to work, the obese old guy in the house opposite mine offered me tips on my yoga technique. Not only were his tips helpful, but I now know I should either close my curtains or put clothes on when I do yoga. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 087

You deserved it 39 695

Today, I went to my long-distance boyfriend's party. His best friend was talking to me and trying to make conversation, he asked, "So, are you two official?" I responded with a definite yes, but was cut off mid-word by my boyfriend, who quickly said, "No, not really." Sorry, I wasn't aware, darling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 614

You deserved it 4 370

Today, I wore a cute new striped shirt to work. One of my co-workers said to me, "I like your shirt. Most fat people don't look good in horizontals." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 859

You deserved it 4 714

Today, my boyfriend told my roommate about a trick he had used by filling nail holes with toothpaste when he moved out. When I came home with putty to fill the holes, there were blue spots all over the walls. She had filled them with blue gel toothpaste. Now I get to repaint, too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 740

You deserved it 3 857

Today, my dog accidentally crapped on her leash. When I flicked the leash to get the poo off, it went flying. Have you ever had warm poo hit you in the face on a cold day when there's 6 inches of snow on the ground? I have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 097

You deserved it 9 714