Health: Today, I have the stomach flu. If my belly growls, I have 30...

By shitty day - 30/11/2011 10:53 - United States

Today, I have the stomach flu. If my belly growls, I have 30 seconds or less to get to the bathroom. I can't go to the doctor for fear of shitting my pants on the trip there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 193

You deserved it 2 431

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
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Same thing different taste

Walk, don't run

By Anonymous - 19/07/2022 03:00 - Finland

Today, I have horrible diarrhea because of IBS. If I was at home, this wouldn't be that big of an issue, but I'm at work and I don't have access to a bathroom all the time. I also found out I have about 10 minutes to get to the toilet or else I'll probably shit myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 014

You deserved it 113

Ewwwwwww

By Anonymous - 23/02/2015 17:56 - United States

Today, I'm sick with a stomach flu. For the last 5 hours, I've been going back and forth from the couch to the bathroom. Each time I get into the bathroom, I have to make a choice of whether to sit on the toilet or kneel by it. Each time I have to clean up the other mess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 652

You deserved it 5 941

Both ends

By sickofsick - 30/12/2009 03:11 - United States

Today, I woke up with the flu that causes me to throw up violently until I dry heave and can't breathe. I told my mom I would rather have the runs, and not even a minute later, I got them. So now if I move too fast, I throw up, and if I don't move fast enough, I shit myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 668

You deserved it 3 982

Fools rush in

By Anonymous - 15/11/2022 10:00 - United States - Utica

Today, after a shopping trip, I had the worst diarrhea attack and almost shat my pants before I could even get in the front door. By the time I could get the door open, it was taking all of my self-control to keep from shitting myself. I had to shit on the toilet with the front door and bathroom door wide open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 807

You deserved it 172

By Anonymous - 02/08/2013 21:34 - United Kingdom - Newcastle Upon Tyne

Today, at work, I felt a sudden, all-too-familiar pain in my stomach. I ran for the restroom, but before I could get there, I shat myself. I had to limp the rest of the way, then beg my boss to let me go home. He said no and told me to get back to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 019

You deserved it 5 401

By Anonymous - 31/10/2009 19:40 - United Kingdom

Today, I had a terrible stomach bug. I quickly jumped off the toilet and crouched over the bowl. I vomited with such force that I splashed the shitty water back into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 774

You deserved it 6 758

Leaked internals

By Poopy pants - 12/06/2023 12:00

Today, my anus has given up the ghost. Now if I vomit, have a violent coughing fit, or orgasm too intensely, I will shit myself. Even if I have absolutely no gas or need to go. I'm scared to leave the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 877

You deserved it 134

By Anonymous - 06/06/2015 04:20 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I have food poisoning. My boss told me that if I didn't come into work, I'd be fired. Not 30 minutes after sitting down, I sneezed and shat my pants. My boss still won't let me leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 932

You deserved it 2 190

By TheHeirofTime - 15/08/2016 15:11 - United States - Marlborough

Today, I had to cancel an appointment due to diarrhea. I was so nervous that when the receptionist asked why, I told her, "I can't stop shitting." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 256

You deserved it 1 735

By Anonymous - 31/12/2013 18:22 - United States - Bessemer

Today, I was at work alone with a stomach bug. For some reason, our bathroom was out of toilet paper, so I had to quickly run to the nearest store to buy more, only to shit my pants midway there. I'm pretty sure the cashier knew exactly what had happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 190

You deserved it 4 208

xXxXxMasonxXxXx 7

Wednesday 30 November 2011 16:04

Wear a diaper and drive as fast as u can

Fruit_Dealer 9

Wednesday 30 November 2011 16:05

I'm sure certain fruits will help. Let me check in my collection.. Hmmm not that.. This could do. Here, try a few bananas.

Comments

MoNnEy_MiiTE 3

Wednesday 30 November 2011 21:17

U need adult diapers, if some elders live in the house ur in some luck

KayZeep 3

Wednesday 30 November 2011 21:41

DO NOT GO INFECT PEOPLE AT THE DR'S OR HOSPITAL!!!! Stomach Flu is super contagious. Just stay home. Eat crackers and pedialite! Also, no doc's for regular colds or flus people! Dr's do not sure viruses! (Only go for flus/respiratory probs for a really young child or super elderly).

Namenlos_fml 20

Wednesday 30 November 2011 21:52

Doesn't really matter. The doctor will just say you have no choice but to wait it out.

assgas 0

Wednesday 30 November 2011 22:02

I'm sad

xx7000girlxx 0

Wednesday 30 November 2011 22:27

LMAO!! That's damn funny! But yeah I agree, your life sucks :-/

generator115 2

Wednesday 30 November 2011 22:43

that's y u should call the doctor to come to ur house

123_omg 19

Wednesday 30 November 2011 22:47

i had that happen last year a week before xmas at my fiance's family's place out in the backwoods...bathroom was on opposite end of his bedroom and I had it coming out every which way. i had to shower every time it happened cuz everything exited every entrance at once! ended up in ER dehydrated n unable to keep fluid down.