Kids: Today, I heard my ten-year-old brother say, "Are hamburgers a... - FML

By Andrew - 14/07/2015 17:59 - United States - Blackwood

Today, I heard my ten-year-old brother say, "Are hamburgers a reptile?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 929

You deserved it 2 780

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Same thing different taste

Let him have his innocence

By sydcaller618 - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Richmond

Today, my six-year-old son told me how it was funny that there's "a food chicken and an animal chicken". That's going to be a fun one to explain to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 360

You deserved it 2 652

Little twit

By Anonymous - 22/03/2009 03:38 - United States

Today, my 7 year-old brother asked me what "horny" meant whilst in the car with my parents. When I wouldn't tell him what it meant he screamed, "I'm getting horny!" at the top of his lungs, and told my parents that I told him to say it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 741

You deserved it 7 131

Sorry dude

By EatYourGreens - 21/08/2021 06:01 - Australia - Augustine Heights

Today, my four year-old very loudly asked me if the little person she saw at the shops was like that because he didn't eat his vegetables. He definitely heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 866

You deserved it 149

Leave me alone

By Anonymous - 29/08/2020 08:01 - Canada

Today, my brother turned into a fanatical vegan, and while I was eating my scrambled eggs, sat across from me glaring and whispering, "fried embryo, amniotic fluid" the entire time. I have a feeling i'll be eating most of my meals in my room from now on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 678

You deserved it 177

Egg IRL

By Anonymous - 16/11/2020 05:01 - United States

Today, I was eating out with my family. I have 2 brothers. Our waitress comes and says, "Look at those 3 handsome young men." I didn't think of it until my 5-year-old brother shouted, " She's a girl!'" FML

I agree, your life sucks 888

You deserved it 101

Thanks for the input

By NVP - 18/01/2009 14:30 - United States

Today, I told my 10 year-old brother I was turning 23. He said, "You need to get a boyfriend." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 485

You deserved it 3 816

By notanidiot - 20/06/2012 12:46 - United States - Lansing

Today, I laughed when I shouldn't have and am probably fired. What happened? My boss asked me if birds were reptiles. I thought he was kidding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 978

You deserved it 3 667

By fack - 26/11/2013 18:35 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my mom told me that when my sister and I were born, the first thing my dad said was, "I hope they don't turn out vegetarian." I did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 546

You deserved it 10 181

By njh - 27/03/2015 13:29 - Ireland

Today, my 3-year-old son said to me, "Fuck a duck, Daddy." I have no idea where he heard this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 342

You deserved it 3 612

By vballqt201 - 21/06/2009 16:03 - United States

Today, I was asking my one year old nephew what noises certain animals make. I decided to trick him and ask him what sound I make. He immediately says, "MOOOO". FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 391

You deserved it 17 285

Next

Top comments

sleepyfires 20

Wednesday 15 July 2015 10:05

Of course not! They're mammals, you silly child.

gracehi 31

Wednesday 15 July 2015 10:09

Ah yes, the wild hamburger: known for devouring mice whole and sunbathing.

Comments

THEDARKLORDOFALL 17

Wednesday 15 July 2015 10:28

Aaaaaaaaand I'm done

Nilorak 24

Wednesday 15 July 2015 10:36

Remember to wipe.

WolfyGrace 24

Wednesday 15 July 2015 10:45

That reminds me of a YouTube video I watched once where a man at least over 30 asked if birds were animals. The human race is truthfully a beautiful thing.

kaitlynjane 28

Wednesday 15 July 2015 12:27

I'm not quite sure if beautiful is the right term in this case.

91hayek 31

Wednesday 15 July 2015 11:10

Well I've seen someone defend Mayonnaise as a gender, and they seemed older than ten years old, so cut him some slack.

bollier13 10

Wednesday 15 July 2015 11:16

Yes. They are cold blooded creatures that just make me fat

Sicxlilsis 16

Wednesday 15 July 2015 11:25

Is mayonnaise an instrument?

kaitlynjane 28

Wednesday 15 July 2015 12:26

Exactly what I thought xD

FMLRITP 18

Wednesday 15 July 2015 12:31

SpongeBob references aside...

steveo493 5

Wednesday 15 July 2015 21:41

why would you put that aside lol

rocksmith 15

Wednesday 15 July 2015 22:48

Is this the Krusty Krab

Sora_McKain 36

Thursday 16 July 2015 4:42

NO THIS IS PATRICK!!!

LazyLion 12

Wednesday 15 July 2015 11:43

Public education

failedgamer01 20

Wednesday 15 July 2015 12:59

Why of course it is! It's my favorite kind of lizard!

nfedrichy 20

Wednesday 15 July 2015 13:02

While we're on the subject, is butter a carb?

Vlen_fml 20

Wednesday 15 July 2015 23:08

your question has more validity than the kid's, at least you're asking if food falls under a certain food group. and No it's not.

Ichiya 29

Thursday 16 July 2015 2:00

but is butter a crab?

bad_boyfriend 10

Wednesday 15 July 2015 14:12

This kid's going places

SkylineFTW97 25

Wednesday 15 July 2015 14:26

Nope. They're footballs. I chiseled them.

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Keywords

Love Cheating Money Relatable Work Jealousy My ex Accident Health Medication ADHD Snow Weather Miscellaneous Awkward Embarrassing Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird Dating AITA Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Fight

The Top

Today, my girlfriend and I were making love. Her phone rang, and she stopped to answer it. It was her ex-boyfriend, calling her from jail. She talked to him for 15 minutes. To top it all off, before she hung up, I heard her tell him she loved him, and couldn't wait for him to get out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 822

You deserved it 4 306

Today, I came home from the minimum-wage job I suffer through to support my now ex-boyfriend's ailing music career. It seems his time management skills suck almost as badly as his music, because I found him in my bedroom, licking whipped cream off my step-sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 855

You deserved it 4 564

The Top

Today, I was studying for a final when I noticed that all I had was a blue highlighter. I decided to drive to the store to get a yellow one. On the way there, I got $200 worth of traffic tickets for not stopping at a stop sign. I basically spent $200 because I prefer yellow highlighters over blue ones. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 514

You deserved it 110 207

Today, I found out that doctors can be wrong. Pink clothes, pink stroller, pink bottles, pink bibs, pink cribs and pink bedding to go with my baby that recently came out with a little pink penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 750

You deserved it 22 643

Today, I was the organist for a wedding. I had practiced for weeks, rehearsed with the choir many times and spent hours stressing. During the wedding march, the electric organ malfunctioned, adding on layers of random notes I didn't play. Guess who got yelled at afterwards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 580

You deserved it 286

Today, I was riding on my bike when a guy on the street shouted, "I LOVE YOU!" at me. I recently told my boyfriend I loved him, and his response was, "I don't love you but I won't treat you any differently." Perverts on the street love me, but my boyfriend doesn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 629

You deserved it 5 584

Today, while on my daily jog, I passed a very attractive girl. While passing her, she yelled "hey cutie". Trying to look cool, I tried turning around without stopping. I then fell off the curb and severely sprained my ankle. She caught up to help but was laughing the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 967

You deserved it 40 499

Today, while meeting a new client, their assistant said I looked familiar. Before my brain could stop me, I blurted out, "I do porn." FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 291

You deserved it 6 040