Kids: Today, I heard my ten-year-old brother say, "Are hamburgers a... - FML

By Andrew - 14/07/2015 17:59 - United States - Blackwood

Today, I heard my ten-year-old brother say, "Are hamburgers a reptile?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 929

You deserved it 2 780

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Same thing different taste

Let him have his innocence

By sydcaller618 - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Richmond

Today, my six-year-old son told me how it was funny that there's "a food chicken and an animal chicken". That's going to be a fun one to explain to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 360

You deserved it 2 652

Little twit

By Anonymous - 22/03/2009 03:38 - United States

Today, my 7 year-old brother asked me what "horny" meant whilst in the car with my parents. When I wouldn't tell him what it meant he screamed, "I'm getting horny!" at the top of his lungs, and told my parents that I told him to say it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 741

You deserved it 7 131

Sorry dude

By EatYourGreens - 21/08/2021 06:01 - Australia - Augustine Heights

Today, my four year-old very loudly asked me if the little person she saw at the shops was like that because he didn't eat his vegetables. He definitely heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 866

You deserved it 149

Leave me alone

By Anonymous - 29/08/2020 08:01 - Canada

Today, my brother turned into a fanatical vegan, and while I was eating my scrambled eggs, sat across from me glaring and whispering, "fried embryo, amniotic fluid" the entire time. I have a feeling i'll be eating most of my meals in my room from now on. FML

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You deserved it 177

Egg IRL

By Anonymous - 16/11/2020 05:01 - United States

Today, I was eating out with my family. I have 2 brothers. Our waitress comes and says, "Look at those 3 handsome young men." I didn't think of it until my 5-year-old brother shouted, " She's a girl!'" FML

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You deserved it 101

Thanks for the input

By NVP - 18/01/2009 14:30 - United States

Today, I told my 10 year-old brother I was turning 23. He said, "You need to get a boyfriend." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 485

You deserved it 3 816

By notanidiot - 20/06/2012 12:46 - United States - Lansing

Today, I laughed when I shouldn't have and am probably fired. What happened? My boss asked me if birds were reptiles. I thought he was kidding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 978

You deserved it 3 667

By fack - 26/11/2013 18:35 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my mom told me that when my sister and I were born, the first thing my dad said was, "I hope they don't turn out vegetarian." I did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 546

You deserved it 10 181

By njh - 27/03/2015 13:29 - Ireland

Today, my 3-year-old son said to me, "Fuck a duck, Daddy." I have no idea where he heard this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 342

You deserved it 3 612

By vballqt201 - 21/06/2009 16:03 - United States

Today, I was asking my one year old nephew what noises certain animals make. I decided to trick him and ask him what sound I make. He immediately says, "MOOOO". FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 391

You deserved it 17 285

Next

Top comments

sleepyfires 20

Wednesday 15 July 2015 10:05

Of course not! They're mammals, you silly child.

gracehi 31

Wednesday 15 July 2015 10:09

Ah yes, the wild hamburger: known for devouring mice whole and sunbathing.

Comments

GumBallZ 9

Thursday 16 July 2015 21:10

???I can't even!!!!

thewayoftheopa 4

Friday 17 July 2015 4:49

They're obviously Amphibians

BoltTheSuperdog 22

Friday 17 July 2015 19:51

Next thing you know he'll be asking if mayonnaise is an instrument.

FionaRPT 4

Saturday 18 July 2015 4:24

Urmh just educate him that's not a big deal

deathmec 20

Saturday 18 July 2015 23:45

Hamburgers a reptile? Sure, as long as mayonnaise is an instrument.

zeeeee555 5

Monday 20 July 2015 3:41

*ralph wiggum moment*

HarryBoles 13

Tuesday 21 July 2015 3:43

Actually, you aren't as screwed as me. The kids in my grade last year just went around saying "cheese is a fruit" for the first 3 months of the school year (I'm 12 in 6th grade right now)

Rectov 10

Sunday 9 August 2015 22:40

Well that explains vegetarians

band13geek 16

Wednesday 9 September 2015 23:36

OP, I get the feeling that your brother will be majoring in wumbology.

Verdeve 23

Tuesday 6 October 2015 5:45

is mayonnaise an instrument?

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The Top

Today, I found out that when my best friend and I were kids, our parents would cancel playdates when either of us opted to not go to church. They said it would, "strengthen our faith." We are now both adults and staunch atheists for that reason, and we're spending way more time together to make up for this crap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 547

You deserved it 144

Today, I've spent nearly three weeks indulging my boyfriend's weird fetish, where he wears a hockey mask and I call him Jason. He just confessed it isn't really a fetish for him and that was just fucking with me. He's already told all his friends. I'm humiliated. FML

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The Top

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You deserved it 8 111

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Today, I was getting on a bus, the driver shut the door on me while I was half way inside. Instead of apologizing to me, he criticized me for getting in the way. FML

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You deserved it 3 346

Today, I should probably throw out my old, torn dress as my boob popped out to say hello to a passing car. FML

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Today, my brother sprayed the entire kitchen, including all the dishes, with industrial strength spray adhesive, thinking it was disinfectant. I'm the one who got to clean it up. FML

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You deserved it 77