Intimacy: Today, I heard the sounds of women grunting in the living room....

By sportyhusband - 20/01/2010 03:46 - United States

Today, I heard the sounds of women grunting in the living room. My husband knows I don't like him to watch porn, so I confronted him. He was masturbating to professional Women's tennis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 173

You deserved it 26 349

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Mem - 30/05/2014 20:07 - Sweden - Hudiksvall

Today, my neighbor threatened to call the cops if I didn't turn the volume down on my porno. I was only watching women's tennis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 192

You deserved it 5 313

Caught red-handed

By Anonymous - 20/05/2020 17:00

Today, my husband walked in on me while I was masturbating and watching porn (yes women do it too). Now he thinks I’m unsatisfied with him or our sex life. All I wanted was a quick release. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 900

You deserved it 521

So frustrating!

By Anonymous - 17/09/2024 05:00 - United States

Today, I caught my husband masturbating to porn. I screamed at him and demanded to know why he was masturbating when he has a wife to have sex with. He said, "Because you always reject me?" I was about to yell back when I realized he was right. I'm a terrible wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 98

You deserved it 891

By Korisite - 30/10/2011 05:31 - United States

Today, my wife caught me masturbating to porn. She screamed at me and asked why I would be masturbating when I had her to have sex with. So I asked if she wanted to have sex, she said no. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 259

You deserved it 25 002

What a wanker

By no action Jackson - 27/09/2020 20:02 - United States - Hesperia

Today, I walked in on my husband masturbating. I thought it was hot and asked if I could join in. He threw me a disgusted look and screamed that I’d ruined the whole mood. Now we’re both unsatisfied. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 716

You deserved it 206

By anon - 25/10/2010 05:42 - United States

Today, I found out my boyfriend watches porn. Specifically, today, while I was in the shower. In the next room. We were alone in the house and he still chose porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 727

You deserved it 7 175

By Anonymous - 30/01/2015 20:16 - United States

Today, I walked in on my husband jacking off to a photo of himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 195

You deserved it 4 507

Classic Dave

By Sarahir - 29/04/2020 05:00

Today, I walked in on my husband masturbating into the kitchen sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 196

You deserved it 406

Revealing

By kitkat545 - 15/06/2009 23:18 - United States

Today, my husband called me from work just to chat. He asked what I had been up to today. I was feeling frisky so I told him all about how I had gotten horny, watched a porno and masturbated earlier. It wasn't until I heard the hoots and laughter that I realized he had me on speakerphone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 079

You deserved it 51 000

By cock blocked - 22/04/2015 15:44 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I started work cleaning a customer's pool. I think her husband watches too much porn because he keeps glaring at me from the windows, and I overheard him telling his wife that he knows what's "going on" and that he's "not gonna let it happen". FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 145

You deserved it 2 474

Freeze_fml 16

Wednesday 20 January 2010 10:10

They play with balls more than you do, apparently.

maskedman 9

Wednesday 20 January 2010 10:25

I guess now you have to take women's tennis away from, which leads to him teeing off to women's golf, which eventually leads to him polishing his pin to "women's" bowling. The masculine women of women's bowling makes an easy transition into homosexuality which leads to a divorce. Let your husband watch normal **** so that we can put a stop to this.

Comments

zman78 0

Wednesday 7 April 2010 9:13

at least he listened!

HunterOrHunted 0

Thursday 8 April 2010 3:26

lol there's so much wrong with this...

MrIrish20 1

Thursday 8 April 2010 17:42

Nothing wrong with a guy watching ****. The OP has some insecurity issues. YDI.

kaycay0211 0

Friday 16 April 2010 2:05

look let him **********, jeez. it's a stress reliever.... he probably needs the way you act. :)

MyDailyLife 1

Sunday 18 April 2010 7:22

Thats wat u get for not letting him watch **** -.-

hypergrafia 1

Tuesday 20 April 2010 18:17

Uh, am I going to be the only one to point out that women playing tennis sounds NOTHING like women having ****-sex?

Gillypants 3

Friday 23 April 2010 0:58

**** is like the greatest invention ever. why would you not want him to watch ****? me and my boyfriend watch soooo much **** together.... its usually my idea. whats with all the prudes on here?

gamer_girl 0

Friday 23 April 2010 2:02

i dont think she had a problem with him masturbating. It just said she didnt want him to watch ****. maybe like she doesnt mind if he masturbates, but she doesnt like when he does it to **** because she doesnt feel like shes good enough for him? i dont know

SaturnE_fml 0

Sunday 13 June 2010 6:46

**** is anything related to illegal sexual acts, violating obscenity laws. I can understand her not wanting him masturbating to girls "riding" a horse bare bottom.

Chocolate_Chunk 2

Monday 30 August 2010 10:15

wow. did your priest tell you that definition of ****?

lilkim_fml 0

Saturday 17 July 2010 15:23

OP: Whats the problem?!?!?!?! He does what you tell him to do? And he found a compromise? He NEEDS to jack it off... accept it, and let him do it to tennis if he'd like!! **** is a human-right for many men...