Love: Today, I hinted at getting it on towards my wife (it's been 2...

By tripb101 - 22/04/2009 18:47 - United States

Today, I hinted at getting it on towards my wife (it's been 2 weeks since we last did). She answered with "no I'm to tired", within 2 minutes she said, "I'm gonna go use the treadmill". She got all hot and sweaty for about 30 minutes, but it was with the treadmill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 047

You deserved it 6 094

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Get on with it!

By Anonymous - 31/05/2023 00:02

Today, I told my fiancée I was going to the gym. She gave me a dozen "quick, easy errands" that took me over three hours to finish. When I was done, I called her and said I was going to the gym now. She yelled, "You still haven't gone? You've been out for days! What have you been doing?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 943

You deserved it 179

By S. Fancyson - 16/04/2013 23:23 - United States

Today, I gave my wife a birthday present. For months she'd been talking about an expensive treadmill that she wanted, so I bought it. Her reaction when she saw it was to yell, "YOU THINK I'M FAT!" and burst into tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 453

You deserved it 9 637

By anonymous - 21/02/2010 15:16 - United States

Today, I was checking out a gorgeous woman in spandex with beautiful flowing long black hair on the treadmill at the gym. I spent a few minutes just watching her body move and ripple under the material. She turned off the treadmill and got off, only for me to find out that it was a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 856

You deserved it 45 266

By nkotz - 14/01/2013 18:34 - United States

Today, I felt like going to the gym. I asked my girlfriend if she wanted to come with me. She screamed at me for supposedly implying that she's fat. No, I just wanted to go to the gym with someone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 070

You deserved it 7 297

Out of shape

By Anonymous - 20/08/2023 12:00 - Australia

Today, I was feeling really good about going to the gym for the first time. That was until I got so worn out from my “warm up” on the treadmill that I had to go home and spew. FML

I agree, your life sucks 579

You deserved it 159

By Anonymous - 05/07/2013 16:13 - Netherlands

Today, a girl I met recently asked if I wanted to go jogging with her, and I excitedly agreed. A while into our run, I ran out of breath and doubled over panting, all while she kept jogging and slowly disappeared down the street. What a way to spend time together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 500

You deserved it 9 241

Having fun over there?

By Anonymous - 07/09/2024 00:00 - South Africa - Durban

Today, I went to the gym for the first time in quite a while. I was feeling pretty good about myself until I realized I'd been on the elliptical machine for twenty minutes without having actually turned it on. I was just moving the pedals and wondering why I wasn’t getting tired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 212

You deserved it 307

By Velian - 09/12/2008 08:59 - France

Today, I began to undress my wife, who was watching TV, and gave her a massage to relax her while she watched her soap. 20 minutes later, when the programme came to an end, she said "I wish you'd let me watch TV in peace!". FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 651

You deserved it 4 734

By Anonymous - 18/01/2015 16:34 - Ireland

Today, after the longest time, I went to the gym. I ran and ran and ran on the treadmill for an eternity, beating myself up for getting so overweight. Then I tripped and fell off, sweating and sobbing for being so useless. When I looked up, I saw I'd been on the machine for barely 2 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 968

You deserved it 20 687

By anonymous - 24/06/2010 05:09 - United States

Today, I went running. My girlfriend was so surprised at the fact that I'm exercising that she accused me of making it up so I could cheat on her. I'm just trying to get in shape. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 705

You deserved it 5 226

powerade 0

Thursday 23 April 2009 2:15

I suppose talking to her about the problem is no doubt out of the question?

hydronium 0

Thursday 23 April 2009 2:09

Not everyone feels like having sex all of the time...sheesh.

Comments

choppedNskrewed 0

Thursday 23 April 2009 2:25

chopped and skrewed! (yay! there hasn't been a good enough story about rejection recently to justify that statement, but now that there is I feel so much better...the best one was the FML about the girl who was changing in the victoria's secret changing room and told her boyfriend he could stay if he gave her gum, but he said that he wouldn't because he only had 3 pieces left)

Drode 0

Thursday 23 April 2009 2:25

Ok I think some people are missing the point of this FML. When he wanted sex, his wife said she was tired. Then right after saying that, went on the treadmill for 30 min.

upandb 0

Thursday 23 April 2009 2:27

you shouldn't have to "excite" her. If she doesnt want to have sex with you but used to, then she is getting it from somewhere else. Be careful

liveitlearnit 0

Thursday 23 April 2009 2:29

She probably wants to have sex with someone who knows the difference between to, two and too.

Bilbo_Swaggins 5

Wednesday 29 January 2014 22:51

Why the downvotes? Its true.

TenebrionHZ 5

Tuesday 2 June 2015 15:23

Does the word "wife" mean anything to you people? Also, not everyone's first language is English.

Truan_fml 0

Thursday 23 April 2009 2:30

An obvious sign of 'here's a lesson for you' Rather than hint at it, or say it, do stuff to make her want it. I mean you're married to her. You should have some idea of what turns her on, be it massage, rubbing, beating the shit out of her, etc.

Ohnoitslindsay 0

Thursday 23 April 2009 2:31

This is one of the lamest FMLs ever. Your wife wasn't in the mood. Get the hell over it. And learn how to speak proper English.

ditlihi 0

Thursday 23 April 2009 2:31

Been there, done that, dude. Time to look around for that little bit on the side.

dogfood_fml 3

Thursday 23 April 2009 2:33

She's not feeling well about her body shape and feels embarassed to show her body to you. Tell her that she's beautiful and that you love her. Chose your words carefully, don't use the words "there's nothing wrong with the way you look" or crap like that. Keep it simple, don't act like you noticed that she's out of shape or thinks she is. Or YOU could use the treadmill more often

samannham 0

Thursday 23 April 2009 2:33

So you're complaining cuz she wouldn't have sex with you but she'd work out.... wow you're a sleezy dude. Take a chill pill...some people got ladies who don't work out!!!