Miscellaneous: Today, I learned that ham is part of a pig, and not a completely... - FML

By acab93 - 10/02/2011 22:37 - United States

Today, I learned that ham is part of a pig, and not a completely different animal. I'm eighteen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 162

You deserved it 64 633

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Dammit - 07/07/2012 04:45 - United States - Long Beach

Today, I found out that I'm allergic to bacon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 545

You deserved it 5 870

By Anonymous - 14/01/2010 19:41 - United States

Today, I was dissecting a pig for my anatomy class. The smell of four day-old dead pig caused me to faint. My mom drove me home and warmed me up some left overs for lunch. It was pork chops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 265

You deserved it 4 359

By zac545 - 19/02/2009 06:14 - United States

Today, I was looking after a hamster for a friend. My dog ate it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 953

You deserved it 11 234

By Face - 09/01/2010 10:12 - Australia

Today, I got hit in the face with a piece of bacon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 354

You deserved it 34 743

Ham-fisted attempt

By HamHanded - 10/03/2017 09:17

Today, my loving but absent-minded father gave me a packet of ham for my birthday, which would be pretty shit even if I hadn't been a strict vegetarian for the last 27 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 665

You deserved it 716

By whymommywhy - 21/04/2009 03:11 - United States

Today, my hamster gave birth. The babies were very cute and I couldn't resist petting one. Apparently touching a baby hamster will cause it's mother to reject and devour it. I am now know in my family as "The Hamster Slaughterer." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 290

You deserved it 26 954

Soon.

By erinbarto - 17/10/2019 20:00

Today, I listened to my mom having a conversation with my dog, asking him if he ate my hamster. My hamster isn't even dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 365

You deserved it 134

By Username - 16/04/2011 05:14 - United States

Today, I realized that potato chips are made from potatoes. I'm 26. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 153

You deserved it 84 624

Leftovers

By Anonymous - 20/03/2023 18:00 - United States

Today, my daughter brought home her class hamster for the weekend. It escaped and we spent hours searching for it. We later found it in the fridge, eating our leftover pizza. I never knew hamsters had such a refined palate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 834

You deserved it 177

By katrina2d - 27/01/2015 05:43 - United States - Vancouver

Today, my dad and I were having a conversation about boneless chicken. He told me that they are raised boneless, going into detail, and I bought every word of it. Not until he started laughing did I realize how gullible I really am. I'm 22. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 208

You deserved it 29 677

Next

Top comments

Doortje 29

Friday 11 February 2011 1:09

So you thought a ham was an animal? What did you think it looked like? What sound did you think it made?

ScaryyMary 14

Friday 11 February 2011 1:18

Actually, ham is a fruit. Haven't you ever driven past a ham farm and seen the inbred Republicans plucking the ripe, juicy, pink hams from the tallest trees? I can take you to one, it's such an inspiring sight. Afterward, we can go snipe hunting, I know a GREAT spot.

Comments

sl1ck8427 0

Friday 11 February 2011 6:22

you are retarded

Foltzie 0

Friday 11 February 2011 6:24

Dude I came out of the womb knowing what ham was........

ashtonTS 0

Friday 11 February 2011 7:34

Why? Cause your mom's ****** looked like a lacerated one?

ashtonTS 0

Friday 11 February 2011 7:35

Why? Cause your mom's ****** looked like a lacerated ham hock?

cowgod123 0

Saturday 12 February 2011 18:05

hahahahahahah

splarf1991 0

Friday 11 February 2011 6:28

are you blond? cause damn...

vettle 6

Friday 11 February 2011 6:29

I'm speechless

seximexi911 10

Friday 11 February 2011 6:32

haha it's ok, I'm sure all of us have our dee dee dee moments

bfunee 0

Friday 11 February 2011 6:33

your a dult

fearnoevil175 3

Friday 11 February 2011 6:36

hope you aren't jewish

LADYGAGAGOOGA 0

Friday 11 February 2011 6:41

he won a car. the secret word was hamster

srharrison09 0

Friday 11 February 2011 7:02

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! good one!

princessjasmine2_fml 0

Friday 11 February 2011 7:09

Just wait until Texas starts to edit our public school's history books.

4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13

Keywords

Love Cheating Work Money Relatable My ex Jealousy Accident Health Medication ADHD Weather Snow Miscellaneous Awkward Embarrassing Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts

The Top

Today, I got into an argument with my boyfriend, who recently had to move away, about not calling me enough. Apparently his moving had meant that we were now taking a break, he just forgot to talk it over with me. He still wants to visit, and keep the relationship in bed alive though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 669

You deserved it 4 364

Today, I tried to talk to my teenage son about healthy masculinity. He said, "Yeah Mom, I know. Lift weights and eat red meat and fish. Can I go?" Not what I meant at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 248

You deserved it 368

The Top

Today, I ate something that didn’t agree with me. Now I’m in the bathroom and my butthole is dry heaving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 740

You deserved it 122

Today, I found out the girl I’ve been seeing for a few weeks is freaky. At her grandad's funeral, she got so upset she had to leave the room, only to drag me into the priest's office for a quick blowjob. Apparently, death turns her on. I had oral sex at a funeral. I’m going to Hell for sure. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 318

You deserved it 600

Today, I told my girlfriend I was quitting the town baseball team. She said "Great. Now we can get someone with actual talent on the team." I laughed because I thought she was joking. She then replied "What's so funny?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 718

You deserved it 5 528

Today, as I was mowing my neighbor's lawn, I found the Playboy magazine he'd left in his yard. I found it with the mower. I spent the next hour picking up little shards of naked women for no extra pay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 360

You deserved it 7 068

Today, I overheard my brother telling his friend that having sex with a girl who's on the pill gives the guy female hormones and "turns you into like, half-chick, half-dude." He was serious. How am I related to this moron? FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 450

You deserved it 3 102

Today, I'm 20 years old and never been kissed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 394

You deserved it 7 344